


Oops?

by unholyZOURRY



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, Bottom Zayn, Cheating, F/M, M/M, Mpreg, Top Louis, Twins, ordinary zayn, zouis babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 08:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 86,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1737839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unholyZOURRY/pseuds/unholyZOURRY
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn and Louis were high school sweethearts. When Zayn sat next to Louis in homeroom, Louis knew Zayn was something special and he needed to "make him mine". Five years later Louis went an auditioned for X-factor with the full support of his friends, family and love of his life Zayn. When Louis was put into a group with Liam Payne, Niall Horan and Harry Styles and thrust into the world of celebrity, Louis kept Zayn by his side, their love never faltered.      Two years later, shortly after Louis' massive twenty-first birthday party, Zayn started to feel weird. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but he knew... something wasn't right.     One day, Zayn left his job as assistant stylist to Leith Clark and went to his shared flat with Louis. He needed to talk and something off his chest. Only when he walked through the door his world stopped and everything changed. The love of his life was pounding away into some girl in their bed. Zayn let out a sob that caused Louis to freeze mid-thrust and gasp before turning and meeting his boyfriends amber colored eyes. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours before Louis broke the silence and simply said, Oops? To put it simply, Louis ruined Zayns life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hello Again

"Hey." that was the first word Louis spoke to Zayn. 

Yeah?" Zayn grumbled not wanting to talk to anyone. He didn't want to be in Doncaster, he wanted to go back to his home, to Bradford. 

"You're new"

"Obviously."

"Hmm."

"What?" Zayn bit back, aggravated that this blue eyed, chestnut haired boy next to him wouldn't let him wallow in peace.

"We're gonna get on quite well" Louis said smirking at Zayn who only rolled his eyes and said "yeah... sure mate" before turning to face the teacher going over the school dress code and pointing out to Perrie Edwards that "skirts that short are not acceptable."

"You'll see" Louis whispered to himself "You'll be mine soon enough"

 

***

 

 

"Elijah! Damian! Come on please! I can't be late today!" Zayn yelled after the two 3 year olds who were up in their room supposedly 'getting toys for Nan's house' 

"Coming Daddy!" Damian yelled sprinting down the stairs with his Spider-Man and Venom action figures tucked under his arms. 

"Yeah dad, coming!" Elijah whispered for no real reason other than to be different than his brother. 

"No toys Elijah?" Zayn questioned looking at his sons empty arms. 

"Don't need any, me and Nan are making cookies. Dam can't help because he's mean!" Elijah smirked nudging his twin I'm the arm before pulling the last strap of his light up batman shoes tight. 

 

...

 

Once Zayn got to his mum's house and the boy's were inside he kneeled down to give them both hugs before he headed off to work with a new client. 

He pulled Damian in for a hug first ruffling his jet black hair that went well with his piercing blue eyes and tan skin. "I love you Dam, be good for Nan and please, be nice to your brother" Damian only giggled before running off to the play room down the hall already forgetting what Zayn had said to him.

 

Zayn then went to hug Elijah, sometimes it hurt Zayn to look at him because he looked so much like, him. His pale skin, his chestnut hair, his laugh lines that crinkled around his eyes, which thankfully were the same shade of amber as Zayn's because Zayn wasn't sure if he could handle them being blue. Zayn never showed that the fact Elijah looked so much like him hurt though because, he loved Elijah just the same. "Bye daddy, I love ya lots!" then just like that Elijah was gone and Zayn slumped back to his car and headed to the location of his new client.

 

Zayn wasn't sure who his new client was just that he was styling for a music video in a few days followed by a two week long promo tour which Zayn wasn't looking forward to because the twins wouldn't be able to come with him. Zayn had never been away from Damian and Elijah for more than a day and that was only because his mum insisted that he needed a break and practically pried them out of Zayns grip. 

 

After an hour long drive Zayn finally arrived at his destination, as he stepped out of his black on black Range Rover he took a deep breath to try and calm himself. He had been having a weird feeling all day that something about today was going to go... wrong? He wasn't sure if that was the right word but that's how he felt none-the-less. Zayn walked up to the abandoned looking warehouse and pulled open the heavy steel doors to be greeted by...nothing. It was weirdly quiet and it made Zayn feel even more un-easy. He stepped inside and walked deeper and deeper into the building before he was finally greeted by a slightly chubby man, 

RICHARD GRIFFITHS. 

Zayn had met him many times before while he was dating Louis, Richard was the head of Modest! management, he was a pleasant guy so he didn't mind when Richard pulled him into an overwhelmingly tight hug before asking him how he'd been. Zayn said the same answer he gave to everyone he ran into "Real good mate, busy working and just living life."

 

Richard hummed in response and led Zayn to an elevator where he assumed he would finally meet his new client.

 

"Everyone is really excited to see you again Zayn." Richard mused as the elevator doors closed

 

"And why is that?" Zayn asked slightly confused "Who is it?" he followed up

 

But before Richard could answer the elevator doors opened again and Richard was leading him to another room, the closer they got to the door the more the feeling in Zayns gut that was screaming something wasn't right, protested. Richard reached out for the handle and just then someone swung the door open quickly walking out and slammed right into Zayn making him stumble over and fall with the other person on top.

 

"Sorry mate, my fault." he laughed as he started to climb off of Zayn. Zayn wanted to run, because if he was here that meant he was here and even after three years Zayn wasn't ready for that. He tried to get up and run before the lad who fell on top of him noticed who he was but by the time he got to his feet it was too late. "Zayn? Zayn! Holy... Wow, my God! Its been.... so long how've you been?" 

 

Zayn looked up and him, his milky skin, his plump pink lips, his dimpled smirk and his forest green eyes and almost lost it. They had been close, but when Louis and Zayn ended their relationship Harry acted like Zayn never existed. He took a deep breath and pulled the fakest smile, "Harry" his voice betrayed him and broke and Harry's dimpled grin instantly faltered and his eyes became sad as if trying to send him sorry's for all the times Zayn called him but he didn't answer. Zayn ignored it "Let's get to work, yeah?" He said shoving passed Harry and walking in to the room greeted by three more pairs of eyes, two smiles and one pair of arms pulling him into a hug and oh God Zayn was sure he was going to pass out right there if not from the lack of oxygen Nialls hug caused then surely from the piercing blue eyes that stared at him.

 

Emotionless, that's how one could explain the way Louis looked at Zayn. He didn't know what to say or do, they had ended on such fucking awful terms. Louis wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to Zayn at all but he was sure the last thing Zayn wanted was to hear his voice.

 

But oh God he was so fucking wrong. 

 

All Zayn wanted was for Louis to finally apologize, just once, all he wanted was for Louis to stand up and just fucking say sorry.

 

Sorry for cheating, sorry for lying, sorry for breaking his trust, sorry for breaking his heart but mostly just sorry for leaving. Zayn wanted to work through it but Louis wanted no part in it.

 

"Niall," Liam spoke making Niall drop his death grip he had on Zayn's torso and take a step back allowing Zayn to finally breathe but just as he took a breath he was pulled into another bone crushing hug. "Zayn, wow you're here. How've you been? I've missed you so much mate" Liam cheered putting extra effort into making it seem like it had been 3 years since he had seen Zayn, but that was a lie.

 

Liam was the only person who kept in touch with Zayn, the only person who didn't completely shut him out, his only true friend.

 

After more awkward conversations and hugs(none from Louis) and a few tears from Harry they were all pulled into a meeting with Ben, the director of the video to discuss the look they were going for. The song was called "Story of My Life", Ben said he wanted it natural so it seemed as thought their clothes actually came from their own closets. Ben told Zayn "We're going to be matching the lads up to some old photos from when the were younger and re-making them, so their outfits need to match spot on." Zayn nodded in understanding and took the folder of photos from Ben.

 

"Zayn are you okay? You haven't said anything about... you know..." Harry trailed off not entirely sure if it was a good idea to say Louis' name.

 

"M'fine just ready to get started to I can get home to my-" Zayn cut himself off looking at Harry who was looking at him confused.

 

"Who?"

 

"No one" Zayn mumbled looking down at his black boots

 

"You've got a boyfriend!?" Harry gasped trying to force down the smile on his face

 

Zayn could say yes that, that was who he was excited to see and well... it wouldn't be a complete lie. Zayn did in fact have a boyfriend, an amazing guy who sort of saved him in someways. 

 

Alex, when Zayn met Alex last year he was at the end of his rope. He was physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. He was a heart broken single parent with two two year olds running around and pulling him in different directions and on top of that he was one of the top stylists in London. But one day, Zayns mum took the twins and Zayn decided to go for a walk. Alex was sipping his iced tea oblivious to the world around him when he slammed into Zayn spilling his coffee down the front of both of their pants. 

 

Yes, it happened like a cheesy romantic comedy movie, but Zayn didn't mind. 

 

But, that's not who he was talking about, he was talking about his sons, Damian and Elijah. He looked up to see Harry still eyeing him waiting for an answer. "Yupp" he shrugged popping the 'p' "I'll see you tomorrow Harry, I've got to find outfits and get home. See you!" 

 

Zayn quickly turned to head to the exit when he stopped in his tracks, his eyes met Louis' beautifully vibrant blue eyes. 

 

"Boy... Friend?" Louis spoke dryly trying to mask the subtle annoyance in his voice

 

Zayn nodded his chest was tight and his eyes were wide for a moment concentrating on the fact that Louis, his Louis, finally spoke to him. Well not his Louis' anymore but... whatever. Zayn muttered a goodbye and rushed passed him to the elevator and out to his car to speed to his mum's house to get to his sons. 

 

Later that night after a long phone call with Alex, who was in America for work, Zayn laid in bed Damian to his left and Elijah to his right each curled up to his side with an arm thrown over his waist. Zayn slowly reached over to the night stand and grabbed the folder Ben had given to him and to look over the clothes he needed to find. First was Harry, a navy fleece dressing gown shouldn't be that hard. Liam black suit, shirt, vest and a white tie... simple again and Niall again a cricket jumper and gray beigey pants. Not bad. Looking at the pictures Zayn couldn't help but notice how much the boys have change and yet managed to still stay the same. Harry still looks at his mum with a sparkle in his eye, Liam has still managed to keep his child-like charm and Niall God had Niall even changed besides the fact that he's three feet taller? Seeing them like this made Zayn smile a genuine smile, a smile that was usually only reserved for Damian and Elijah. 

 

Then... well then came the last picture, Louis' picture. It was a photo of him sat on the floor while his grandparents were sat on the couch, he had a platter of carrots in front of him, ironically. He had on a black jumper with red sleeves and a red collar Zayn had a sweater just like that actually so he wouldn't need to shop for it so that was one less thing for him to do. Zayn sat the picture down and looked at his sleeping boys, Damian's black hair fell over his forehead and his tan cheeks were blushing red signaling to Zayn that he was too hot so he took off his Spider-Man jumper so he was just in his boxers and a white tank top. Damian shuffled on the bed and moved away from Zayn wrapping his arms around one of the many pillows. 

 

Zayn looked back over to Elijah to see the picture of Louis laying right next to him and instantly a knot formed in his throat. Elijah looked so much like him, he tried to fight the tears that were forming but he failed and a steady stream of tears started cascading down his cheeks. He was so close to not remembering how things felt with Louis, he had gone almost a full week without thinking about him. But today, seeing him, hearing him and then the picture, it was too much it bought back everything. The memories of days he and Louis spent talking about their childhoods, the days Louis talked about them one day getting married and then... kids. They said they would like to have four, hopefully two boys and two girls. They wanted to boys to be older so that they could protect their little sisters. 

 

Zayn didn't realize he had started to shake until Elijah woke up and stared up at his dad eyes wide. He had never seen Zayn cry before and he couldn't figure out the way it was making it feel so he did what Zayn did for him when he cried, he wiped the tears off of Zayn's cheeks and tried to wrap his arms around his torso but his short three year old arms couldn't reach so he just held him as best he could.

 

"Dad? Why ya cryin dad?" He asked as his eyes brimmed with tears

 

What could Zayn say? He couldn't say oh just say ' The love of my life, I saw him today and he practically ignored me not to mention my three will I guess two ex best mates. Then he spoke to me, just a few words but words no less, oh and the picture. That picture was the straw that broke the camels back, that you look so much like him and it hurts, looking at you hurts my heart because you look just like him.'

"It's nothing Jah" Zayn cooed as he re-positioned himself so Elijah was resting on his chest. "Daddy's just being emotional. Let's go back to sleep, yeah?" Elijah looked at Zayn skeptically before nodded and lying back down on Zayn's chest and quickly fell asleep again.

 

Zayn laid awake that night staring at his ceiling forgetting about his boyfriend, Alex, and thinking about Louis and how happy Louis made him then flipping to the pain Louis caused him. 

 

 

"Fuck!" Zayn whisper shouted to himself "What have I gotten myself into? before lulling of to sleep with his sons wrapped tightly in his arms.


	2. Midnight Memories

_"Zayn?" Louis whispered to a heavily sleepy Zayn who was laying across his chest_

 

"M'yeah?"

 

"You know your dad is wrong right?" He asked but Zayn didn't respond. They sat there Zayn wrapped in Louis' arms pressing light kisses to the top of his head. It was almost ten minutes later that Louis realized that Zayn was crying "Babe? Baby, please don't cry. We're gonna prove them wrong one day babe. One day we're gonna walking down the streets of London and people will beg to have our pictures taken with them, you'll be a famous stylist and I'll be a singer-"

 

"Or an Actor" Zayn mumbled into Louis' chest

 

Louis smirked and said "Yeah or an actor, an our parents will wake up one day and realize the mistake they made. Oh God Zayn especially your dad, he'll regret it the most, he'll regret every-fucking-thing he said to you babe."

 

Zayn shuffled around on the bed before he sat up and wiped the tears from his face and looked down at Louis, "Y-you think s-so love? Y-you you mean it?" 

 

"Every single fucking word Zayn" Louis smiled as he pulled his boyfriend of two years back down at attached their lips in a heated kiss, which led to some intense groping, which lead to Louis giving Zayn a vigorous blowjob, which led to Louis fucking Zayn into his mattress which resulted in Louis' sisters banging on the door for them to be quiet but they didn't listen.

 

Later that night they laid in bed, Zayns back pressed to Louis chest, sleep was becoming more and more tempting the longer they laid there with their limbs tangled not saying a word.

 

"Zayn, you know I love you right?" Louis said breaking the silence

 

"Yeah babe and I love you too" Zayn mumbled as his eyelids started to droop

 

"I'm never gonna leave you Zayn, ever! Promise you won't leave, me?" Louis whispered so it was barely audible but Zayn heard. He turned around to face Louis and buried his face into Louis' neck placing a few light kisses along his jaw down his neck and to his collar bones.

 

"I promise baby"

 

***

 

Zayn woke up the next morning to a voice mail from his mum.

 

"Hi baby, I can't watch the boys today and I know it's last minute but I have to work today. You know I don't work often but they called today and I'm needed. I'm sorry Zayn tell my babies that I love them and I'll see them again tomorrow alright baby? Mum loves you bye!'

 

Zayn wanted to be pissed, he relied on his mum to watch the boys on days he worked and he wanted to be mad at her, to blame it all on her but he couldn't. He was mainly mad at himself for not having a back up plan, so Zayn called the boy's downstairs. Elijah had a bag full of toys today while Damian only had the usual Spider-Man and Venom action figures.

 

"Loves" Zayn started "Nan had to work today so-"

 

"No! I don't want to go to work with you!" Damian yelled stomping his foot which made Zayn laugh a bit. 

 

Damian might look like Zayn except for his blue eyes but he acted exactly like...him. 

 

"Yeah dad girls are pretty but I don't wanna watch them play dress up s'boring" Elijah mumbled trying to reach his jacket off the lower child hook

 

In all honestly Zayn didn't want his sons to come to work with him either, it was a risk. What if Louis or any of the guys really, saw them especially Elijah, they would figure out instantly whose kids they were and Zayn wasn't ready for that. How would he explain that to Louis?

'Oh hey, the day I found you fucking that bitch in my bed I was coming home to tell you I was pregnant but oh wait you left with her. You left me alone so I didn't tell you about the boys and well yeah, here they are!"

No.

 

"Okay so how about you guys stay with my assistant Miranda for just maybe an hour then you can go get The Cuteness from the vet, yeah?" Zayn bargained with his boys

 

Damian and Elijah looked back and forth between each other and Zayn before nodding and flashing an evil grin, they liked Miranda she always bought them ice cream and took them to the sweets shop. They quickly pulled on their jackets and tugged at Zayns hands "Come on dad!" Damian cheered "Lets go to work!" Elijah finished

 

Zayn laughed and followed the boys out the door.

 

***

 

"Now, you two stay in this room do not leave the only person you let in this door is either me or Miranda, okay!?" Zayn said sternly pointing between the twins to emphasize his point. They nodded promising to follow the rules this time, last time this happened the twins got in to a models make up and decided a white Oscar de la Renta dress needed some color. "I love you" Zayn pressed a kiss to each of their cheeks and headed off to find the other guys and get day one of the music video over with.

 

When Zayn walked in the dressing room Harry, Liam and Niall greeted him with warm smiles and open arms, but Louis once again ignored him like he was nothing... breaking his heart even more. Zayn immediately got to work dressing Harry who was being shot first, then Liam, Zayn, Niall they were all easy enough all of their measurements were pretty much the same and Zayn was able to guess the height changes and slight changes in muscle tone correctly. But then there was Louis, his shoulders were broader and his hips were slightly slimmer but his bum still kept it's beautiful curve that Zayn loved so much, but that made Zayn's job a bit harder. He had to sew Louis into his jumper and switch out his pants four different times before he found the right fit.

 

Zayn was sewing up the last arm of Louis' jumper when he heard a familiar scream followed by another slightly higher pitched scream and the sound of feet pounding in the hallway and doors opening and closing. Zayn squeezed his eyes shut saying a silent prayer hoping that they wouldn't find this room, but as soon as Zayn opened his eyes Damian and Elijah both burst through the door with red puffy eyes and tears falling down their cheeks. Zayn dropped what he was doing fell to his knees and opened his arms for the boys to run into "Shh shh, what's wrong? Tell daddy what's wrong?" Zayn cooed as he let go of the boys wiping tears off their cheeks and placing soft kisses to their foreheads.

 

"M-m-manda s-said that The Cuteness w-was gettin his berries cut off daddy!" Elijah shrieked burying his face in Zayns shirt 

 

"Daddy why would you do that!" Damian cried as he plopped down on the floor 

 

Zayn pulled Damian up to him and hugged both the boys rocking back and forth whispering that it was something that had to happen to every dog and that in a few days The Cuteness would be back to normal and wouldn't even think about them. It took almost fifteen minutes of constant hugs and kisses for the boys to finally calm down enough to be taken away again by a very apologetic looking Miranda. 

 

While all this was going on Zayn hadn't noticed that the room went silent, or that Niall and Harry were slowly inching closer to examine the boys, that Liam was trying to master his surprised face because none of the boys knew the he and Zayn kept in touch, or that Louis rushed to the other side of the room and stared at the scene unfolding in front of him with wide eyes shifting from Zayn to mini Zayn to a mini... him? That's impossible though, Zayn would've told him. They're obviously his new boyfriends kids. The thought of that made Louis stomach churn and make his already bitter mood sour. 

 

"Umm... Zayn?" Harry's voice broke the silence as he slowly walked over towards Zayn. Zayn could instantly feel the tears welling up in his eyes and his body start to shake. He wasn't ready for this, he wasn't ready for Niall Harry and Louis to know, not yet! He slowly turned around locking his eyes onto Harry's "You have kids?" Harry asked excitedly as he moved to wrap his arms tightly around Zayn slightly smaller frame "That's amazing Z!"

 

Harry was about to open his mouth to speak again but Niall shoved him out of the way and pulled him in to his own hug "How old are they? What are there names? Zayn why didn't you tell us?"

 

Because you all fucking abandoned me once that arsehole over there left, was all that was running through Zayn's head. He wanted to tell Niall Harry and Louis off, oh especially Louis, but instead of speaking his mind Zayn did was he does best and plastered a fake smile on his face and looked at his friends.

 

"Their names are Damian, the one with the black hair he's 3 minutes and 13 seconds older than Elijah the one with the brown hair, my sons." Zayn said monotone walking back over to his supplies and picking up the needles and thread to finish sewing Louis in to his jumper.

 

Zayn motioned for Louis to come and stand on the platform again but Louis didn't budge from his spot against the wall "Louis come on I want to get this over with so I can go home" Zayn groaned becoming frustrated with the older lad.

 

"So you can go home to your perfect boyfriend and your perfect kids?" Louis spat hatefully glaring back at Zayn

 

"You don't get to be mad at me for moving on. You left me! Do you remember that? Because I fucking do!" Zayn yelled back at Louis taking steps towards him making Louis slam into the wall behind him "Now get the fuck on that fucking platform and let me sew up this jumper so I can go home to my god damn kids!" 

 

Louis stared at Zayn for a while, this wasn't the Zayn he met back in Doncaster. This is someone new, someone slightly darker and more angry. He sighed before walked passed Zayn bumping his shoulder and stood on the platform arms out so Zayn could finish.

 

After the photo recreation part of the video shoot was done Louis watched as Zayn shuffled around grabbing all his supplies shoving them into his bags, he called over his shoulder to say bye to Niall and Harry. Louis watched as he slowly walked over to Liam and they talked quietly for a while, Louis' innocent stare turned into a hardened glare when Liam leaned over to whisper in Zayns ear placing a hand on his upper arm before leaving to walk him back to his car. 

 

When Liam walked back in the dressing room Louis Harry and Niall looked at him suspiciously. 

 

"What was that?" Louis seethed

 

"Last time I checked mate, you don't get to ask questions about Zayn." Liam shot back just as venomously

 

"You know, while the rest of us were in complete shock that Zayn has kids you looked unfazed like it was nothing to you?" Louis slowly spat while he took a few steps towards Liam

 

"Yeah mate." Niall added "It kinda did" Harry mumbled sitting down on the floor

 

"Yeah well...." Liam didn't really want to have to explain why he wasn't surprised about Zayn having kids but really what could he say? "Zayn and I have kept in touch." He sighed as he shuffled over and sat next to Harry.

 

"So you've been keeping in touch with my ex-boyfriend? Is that how it is now, Liam? Are those your kids?"

 

"Don't be an idiot Louis, I am straight and before you ask no I don't know whose kids they are. I've asked him but he always just says they're his." Liam grumbled standing up from the floor and walking to leave.

 

Afterwards, Niall and Harry left as well and Louis... well Louis was still standing where he was when Liam left. He had a thousand things he wanted to ask Zayn but he quickly remembered he had lost the right over three years ago. 

 

Once Louis arrived at his house he striped off his clothes as he walked up the stairs dropping the clothing wherever it landed. He turned on his steam shower and stepped in. As the water cascaded down his body it slowly started to relax his extremely tense muscles, he wasn't always this tense. This... this was Zayn's fault. Stupid Zayn had to come back, stupid zayn had to go and get even more attractive, stupid Zayn had to still be mad at him and stupid fucking Zayn had to have kids. 

 

"Kids? Where the fuck did kids even come from?" Louis mumbled to his self as he leaned against the wall of the shower "FUCK!" he shouted 

 

Now, Louis wouldn't admit it to anyone even if his life depended on it but... he thought about Zayn... everyday. And before you start awwing, it was usually negative. In Louis' mind Zayn kept him from 'exploring' his teenage years, while most of his friends were out partying and having random flings with random people, Louis and Zayn were often cuddled on Louis couch or in Zayn's bed watching stupid chick flicks or scary movies. While their friends had slept with numerous people, Zayn and Louis were each other's firsts it meant something to Zayn but Louis... he wishes he hadn't been so wrapped up in the dark haired leather jacket wearing amber eyed boy from Bradford.

But then again, Louis is an idiot, maybe he'll realize that sometime soon.

 

***

 

After Zayn put the boys to bed he went to his room down the hall and flopped onto his bed, today was just way too stressful for him. Louis was a utter fucking twat, the twins just had to come in that room, it was just shit and then Louis. What gave him the fucking right to say that?

 

Oh, I don't know Zayn maybe the fact that they're his? His subconscious reminded him. 

 

If you could murder the voice in your head Zayn would defiantly do it right now, with zero regret. Zayn logged into his Facebook and instantly went to his private photo album called 'Midnight Memories' (and before you ask, he named it that before One Direction and their stupid album) he has for when he likes to torture his self. It's full of photos from high school and the first two years of One Direction when he and Louis were happy. 

 

He clicked on a photo of he and Louis, Louis was sitting on the couch in Louis' room and Zayn's head was resting on his lap. He remembers that day perfectly

 

It was the last day of the summer holiday before classes started again. Zayn's head was resting on Louis lap and Louis kept mindlessly running his finger through Zayn's messy Unquiffed hair. They had spent the whole day watching films, eating pizza and stealing Vodka from Louis' mum and refilling it with a bit of water. Louis leaned down and kissed Zayn, it wasn't rushed or dominating it was just... nice. When Louis pulled away Zayn smiled up at him looking at Louis in complete and total adoration. Louis leaned back down to Zayn kissing his cheek then whispering in his ear

 

"I promise baby, I'm gonna love you for eternity!" 

 

"Bull-fucking-shit!" Zayn scoffed slamming his laptop shut and sliding it to the other side of his California king sized bed. "He fucking promised" Zayn whimpered as tears started to fall from his eyes. 

 

You're probably wondering why Zayn has a boyfriend if he is still obviously truly, madly and deeply in love with Louis, right? Well Zayn figures, Alex numbs the pain, he makes Zayn forget about Louis even if it's only for a brief moment. When Alex is around Zayn smiles and it reaches his eyes, Zayn laughs and it's not forced, Alex makes Zayn happy but Zayn isn't in love with Alex the way Alex is in love with him. Alex has no clue Zayn still loves Louis the way he does. If he did he would've left ages ago but what he doesn't know won't hurt him right?

 

Zayn rolled on his side and gripped his body pillow tightly wishing it was Louis or even Alex... even Alex would do right now...


	3. Far Away Dove

_...When Zayn was in grade 10 and Louis was in grade 11 they took a huge step..._

_"I'm nervous Lou..." Zayn whimpered as Louis started to unbutton his pants_

_"I am too babe, remember it's my first time too." Louis assured him pressing light kisses down his bare torso_

_"I know." Zayn sighed avoiding eye contact_

_"I love you Zayn, I really do and if it hurts too much or you just don't like it tell me and I'll stop straight away okay?"_

_Zayn didn't respond he just nodded and reached down to start pulling Louis shirt off._

_Once they were both naked, that's when you Louis' nerves started to get the best of him. He opened the bottle of lube and just stared at it, yes he had watched plenty of porn he knew what to do, he just couldn't get his body to do it. Zayn noticed and took the bottle of lube from him and Louis didn't protest he just watched with wide eyes as Zayn thickly coated his own fingers in lube and started to insert one finger slightly wincing at the pain. As Zayn stretched himself Louis was starting to relax, as Zayn started moaning in pleasure he couldn't take it anymore. He pulled Zayns fingers out and lubed up his erect length and slowly pushed himself into Zayn. Louis could see it hurt a bit so he leaned down and pressed a kiss to Zayn's bare collar bones, his neck, the spot behind his ears where his jaw met his neck, his jaw. By the time Louis reached his lips Zayn was relaxed enough to whisper "Move."_

_Louis looked down at him raising an eyebrow as if asking if he was sure, Zayn nodded and wrapped his arms around Louis neck bringing him down to kiss him. Louis pulled slowly out of Zayn and pushed back in, he repeated the same movements only going slowly faster with each thrust. Then he hit it, the bundle of nerves that made Zayn throw his head back and scream "Fuck...Louis!" Louis smirked knowing what he had done and did it again... and again... and again._

_After they both Climaxed and cleaned up they laid in bed facing each other with their fingers intertwined. Louis was looking at Zayn with wide eyes full of love, that was the exact moment Louis decided he never wanted to leave Zayn._

 

 

***

 

It was another long day for Zayn on the shoot for 'Story of My Life' he hadn't slept well Damian was sick and even though Elijah wasn't he refused to leave his brothers side making it difficult to get the twins ready for his mums house.

 

All in all Zayn was just tired. 

 

"Liam you look great just try to make sure that vest doesn't ride up or else you'll look like a right idiot, hmmm Niall give that black button down to Harry, you need to show off your collar bones more love." Zayn smiled rattling off little outfit changes. "Lou- I umm... Louis switch out the tank with that other shirt with the holes and pull your socks up more, if you're to cover your ankles you've got to do it correctly."

 

Louis scoffed throwing his black jean jacket on the floor and ripping the white tank top over his head and throwing it hitting Zayn in the face. Zayn froze, He's still so beautiful, was all he thought as he stared at Louis' bare torso his chest covered it tattoos. 

 

"Mate way to be an arse." Liam groaned picking up the shirt and hanging it up.

 

"Yeah well Zayn's changed my outfit five times already it's getting annoying." He turned from Liam and walked over to Zayn pulling the slightly tattered shirt from his hands "You're the bloody stylist shouldn't you already know what looks good?" 

 

"Sod off" Zayn muttered as he walked over to Harry to help him with his black button up. 

 

He was adjusting the two straps on Liam's vest so they were lined up correctly before Ben the director for the music video walked in and told Zayn someone important was here to see him. Zayn tilted his head to the side before telling Ben that it was okay for whoever this "important" person was to come in. When Ben went to get them Zayn turned back around fiddling with Liam's vest.

 

"DADDY!!!" Two voices shouted in unison making Zayn quickly turn and smile widely as his two boys ran from the door to him "Surprise!!! Are you surprised Dad!" Elijah giggled holding Damian's hand. 

 

"Of course I'm surprised where's Nan?" Zayn asked confused as to why his mum hadn't walked through the door yet with the boys.

 

"Silly daddy" Damian's voice cracked "Nan didn't bring us" he smiled before going into a coughing fit.

 

"Well then... who bought you here? Did one of your Aunt's show up? Did Grandpa?" he rattled of questions as he began to worry about how his boys actually arrived here. While Zayn was rattling off a hundred question to Damian he didn't notice Elijah walking over to the man in the corner of the room with a brown fringe and piercing ice blue eyes. 

 

Each step Elijah took towards him made Louis' breath hitch and eyes widen, there's no way. He thought, but then why does he look so much like me?

 

"Babe?" a voice almost as deep as Harry's called from the door making Zayn's heart hammer against his chest. He looked at the door an was met with a pair of gray-blue eyes and a charming smile behind plump soft pink lips.

 

"Alex!" Zayn squealed as he ran into the arms of his boyfriend "God I've missed you so much Alex! Why are you back already? You were meant to be go for another two weeks." his grip never loosening.

 

"Finished early... but I do have to leave next week" Alex spoke sadly "We're going to set up water wells in Ghana" 

 

Zayn pulled back to look up at Alex to see that his eyes were full of sadness at the fact he was going to have to leave his boyfriend again soon. But in that moment Zayn didn't care, Alex was here and he was going to help him feel better, help him forget. 

 

Louis was in the corner looking between Zayn and his boyfriend and the little boy who hasn't blinked since he laid eyes on him. He was making Louis uncomfortable and the public display of affection between Zayn and Alex was pissing him off. He couldn't understand why looking at Zayn and Alex make his stomach churn with... jealousy? He was over Zayn, he hated Zayn, Zayn hated him, he had moved on ten times over so had Zayn obviously. 

 

Right?

 

Elijah was fascinated by Louis, he had the same pout he did, the same hair, the same stance and Elijah was sure if he looked directly into the man's eyes they would look exactly like Damian's but why? 

 

"Hi mister" Elijah whispered causing Louis to slowly break his gaze away from Zayn and Alex back down to the small boy "I''m Elijah" He smiled reaching out his small hand for the man to shake.

 

Louis hesitated for a moment debating with his self on whether or not he cared to shake the young boys hand. But Louis couldn't deny the fact he had a soft spot for kids, even if this one slightly freaked him out. So he reached for Elijah's hand and gave it a small shake and whispered "I'm Louis- Louis Tomlinson" Louis pulled his hand back after but couldn't shake the slight tingle he felt in his fingers.

 

Elijah's eyes widened as he heard Louis full name "Wow mister! My names Elijah Malik-"

 

"Elijah!" Zayn yelled cutting Elijah off and causing the small boy to whimper before folding his arms behind his back and slowly walk over to where his brother, dad and Alex were. "What were you doing? Zayn asked but instead of looking at Elijah he stared straight at Louis.

 

"Aww dad come on, his name's like mine!"

 

"Leave it Elijah. Alex please, please take them home I'll be done here soon then we can go for dinner, yeah?" Zayn begged and only then did it click in Alex's mind. He hadn't looked around to really see who else was in the room beside Liam sure he noticed Niall and Harry but he didn't see Louis in the back corner with wide eyes at all. He had almost forgotten that this Louis was Zayn's Louis, the ex that broke him in every way possible, the ex that left him alone and pregnant for some girl he barely knew, the ex who knew nothing of his two children.

 

"Of course babe, I'm sorry. Just call when you're on the way so I can get the boys ready okay?" Alex asked as he placed a quick kiss to Zayn's lips making the dark haired lad blush before mumbling "yeah". "Alright Zayn I love you. Boys say bye to Daddy"

 

***

 

Louis and Zayn avoiding each other more than usual during the rest of the shoot, as soon as Zayn started to walk in the direction of Louis, Louis would make a dash to the other side of the room. Although at one point Zayn had to run out on set and adjust the sleeves and collar of Louis' jacket, Zayn's thumb accidentally brushed over Louis neck and instantly goosebumps sprang up. Louis' first reaction was to shove Zayn's hands away and he wanted to but for some reason his body wouldn't let him, he kind of like the tingle his touch send through his body. So he just stood there with wide eyes watching as Zayn's tongue was peeking out the side of his mouth in concentration. 

 

Zayn however was oblivious to the attention (the love of his life) his ex-boyfriend was paying him as he mindlessly adjusted the jacket before patting Louis' back signaling he was done and walked away. 

 

For the rest of the shoot Louis was distracted and everyone was becoming annoyed with him, because shooting the rest of the video which should have only taken four hours ended up taking eight. He would forget what camera to look at, he would trip over his own feet, he would zone out completely thinking about what? The other had no clue. Liam had to cancel his date with Sophia, Niall and Harry had to tell Ed Sheeran that they were going to be late to his performance and Zayn had to tell Alex to go ahead and take the boy's out for dinner that he was going to be home late. 

 

Zayn watched Louis carefully, he had been an essential part of Louis' life for so long that he knew something was wrong. It was in the way Louis bit his lip and fiddled with his fingers, it was in the way Louis kept adjusting his already perfect hair but most importantly it was in the way Louis bottom lip would quiver when his eyes locked on Zayn then quickly looked away. Zayn still knew Louis' better than anyone else and it hurt him that he couldn't just walk up to him and hug him and ask him what was bothering him. 

 

But that part of their lives was done.

 

***

 

Louis walked through the door of his house and instantly started stripping like he did everyday, slowly making his way up to his bathroom only this time instead of a shower he ran a hot bath. He walked over to his bathroom sound system and played a song he hadn't heard in a while... three years to be exact. He pressed play and slowly lowered himself into the hot bath sighing as the hot water started to relax him.

 

_"If you be my star I'll be your sky_

_You can hide underneath me and come out at night_

_When I turn jet black and you show off your light_

_I live to let you shine"_ Zayn had showed him this song a few days after their first time saying it explained his feelings better than he ever could.

 

_"But you can skyrocket away from me_

_And never come back if you find another galaxy_

_Far from here with more room to fly_

_Just leave me your stardust to remember you by"_ Zayn told Louis that if he ever left him, that he'd somehow be okay as long as Louis left him something, a little piece of him so he would never forget. 

 

_"If you be my boat I'll be your sea_

_A depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity_

_Ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze_

_I live to make you free"_ Zayn wanted to be the one to show Louis things he'd never seen, to open his eyes to a whole new world. He remembers the look of Zayn's face as those words left his mouth, a coy smile playing on the corner of his mouth, his eyes sparkling and tongue slowly gliding over his lips out of nervous habit. Louis remembers the way his heart swelled and how he pulled Zayn into a hug and pressed kisses anywhere his lips could reach to show his boyfriend how much he fucking loved him. 

 

Louis sighed rubbing his hands up and down his face letting out incoherent words and grunts of frustration. Just yesterday he had been sure he hated Zayn, that Zayn had ruined his life but now... now he wasn't too sure. Maybe he missed him a little bit. Louis lifted his right arm to look at a tattoo on his inner arm 'Far Away.' It might not have meant much to other people but he got this tattoo with Zayn after Louis had graduated, he and Zayn had always talked about how they wanted to get as far away from Doncaster as they could it didn't matter were as long as it was exciting. 

 

That same day Zayn got a dove tattoo on his right hand not only to symbolize the love and affection he and Louis had but also to show that one day... one day they would fly away from here and never come back.

 

Louis' finger lightly traced his tattoo before he slammed his fist back down into the water and quickly dunked his head under letting the water down out everything the music and his thoughts. But when Louis resurfaced it all came back and just then and only then did Louis admit to his self that he did actually miss Zayn.

 

***

 

After Zayn and Alex made love that night, Alex left Zayn in bed to go shower, which probably wasn't the best thing to do. As soon as he left Zayn's side Louis drifted back into his mind. How was he going to survive two weeks on a tour bus with him traveling all over Europe for the promo tour? Yeah he had done it before when One Direction first started touring but this is different, Louis hates Zayn now, at least that's how he feels. He also can't help but wonder why did Louis look so sad? Why did he almost look like he was going to cry every time he looked at Zayn? Just why?

 

Zayn laid in bed buried under the covers tracing his dove tattoo on his right hand, it felt almost as if it was tingling- like someone else was touching it. 

 

Zayn rolled over and stared mindlessly at the ceiling thinking how he 'Finally needs to move on from Louis' that 'It's obvious Louis' moved on'.

 

But... why can't he ever stop thinking about the boy who stole his heart back in grade nine?


	4. Pocket Full of Secrets

_"I can't believe I made it. You heard me sing right? Did I forget to use my throat? They probably only let me through so I could be one of those people that get laughed at." Louis mumbled with silent tears rolling down his cheeks as he sat on the bed with Zayn in their hotel room._

_"Babe" Zayn sighed pulling Louis into his chest "that's not it at all! They let you through because they saw something in you. They saw what I see, what your family sees. You're special Louis, that is why you're going to ace bootcamp, you're going to do amazing at the judges houses and live shows. Lou Xfactor is gonna be your bitch!" Zayn said sweetly as he pulled the crying boy tighter into his chest placing soft kisses to the top of his head._

_"I'm so nervous Zayn, I really want this to work out. You should've auditioned with me, I'd be way less nervous..."_

_Zayn chuckled and placed another kiss to his boyfriends head before saying "Music is your dream, not mine. Everything will be okay Louis, I believe in you. Have a little faith in yourself!"_

_Louis laid in Zayn arms going over everything in his head, "What if I do get this?", "What if Zayn does become a big time stylist like he wants?", "What if we drift apart?". Louis shuttered at his last thought and almost as if he could read his mind Zayn mumbled a quick "I'll always be here Lou, I love you, I'm so proud of you for doing this!" into Louis' hair._

_Louis smiled nuzzling his head further into Zayn's chest and whispered, "I love you too Zayn." before the both fell asleep wrapped in each others arms._

 

***

 

The next day Zayn woke up and instantly let out a sigh of relief, the 'Story of My Life' video shoot was finished and he had the next few days off to spend with Alex and his sons, before he had to leave for the promo tour. But when Zayn rolled over, instead of finding his boyfriend tucked in the covers, he found a neatly written note.

_'Hey babe,_

_Sorry I'm not there right now, I had to leave early for some meetings at work and you look so peaceful, you deserve a break so I decided to let you sleep. I'll be back for dinner, don't make anything. Tonight will be all about you... especially after we put the boys to bed!_

_xx Alex''_

 

Zayn smiled, Alex was so sweet, sometimes too sweet but none-the-less Zayn adored him. Stretching he sat up to start getting ready for the day, it was nice out so he decided to take the boys to the park.

As Zayn stood in front of the mirror of his bathroom he couldn't help but trace over a few of his tattoos, the dove and the heart on his hip (covering an old Chinese symbol he got with Louis that ended up meaning something completely different than what he thought). He sighed pushing his fond memories of the blue eyed boy away and stepped into his shower. 

 

After spending two hours fighting with his sons about brushing their teeth, (because there was no point in doing it since they brushed them before bed) and what clothes to wear, Zayn, Elijah and Damian finally arrived at the park and as soon as their feet hit the pavement, the twins ran off to the sings. Zayn walked over to the bench right across from them and sat down keeping an eye on them. 

 

"Daddy watch!" Damian yelled as he swung higher and higher before launching himself off the swing and landing in the sand. He laid their for a while, making Zayn have a mini heart attack before he sat up laughing as if it was just the best thing ever. 

 

***

Louis woke up the next day with an itch, an itch to just go somewhere to do something, he just didn't want to be in his house anymore alone with his reminiscent thoughts of a certain brown eyed boy. 

 

And that's how he and Liam ended up playing a game of footie at a park in North London. It was going well, Louis had managed to not think about Zayn since he stepped foot outside of his house and into Liam's car and he crushed Liam 9-3 in their game.

 

Liam and Louis were lying on the parks plush green grass in a comfortable silence when Louis decided he needed to get something off of his chest, that was why he called Liam, he was the sensible one. Niall had never been in a long relationship so he wouldn't get it and Harry... that would've just been awkward you see, after Zayn, Eleanor, and few other random guys and girls, Harry and Louis had a fling. A very very, short fling that was nothing more than hot sex and random blowjobs, nothing serious but still, Louis couldn't go to Harry with this. 

 

"Liam" Louis whispered flicking his eyes from the sky to Liam on his right.

 

"Yeah man?" Liam mumbled with his eyes closed furrowing his eyebrows.

 

"I umm, well I was thinking yesterday about stuff and ya know?"

 

"No, no I don't because you aren't making any kind of sense" Liam sat up and rested his elbows his thighs and looked down at Louis, "Now mate, wanna try again?" he smirked.

 

Louis sighed as he sat up to sit in front of LiIam knees touching and mirroring his actions, "I miss... Zayn and I... well its confusing me because up until yesterday I hated him, I swear it."

 

"For what?" Louis looked at Liam with a raised eyebrow "Why did you hate Zayn he never did anything wrong, Lou..."

 

"He was perfect, I can't explain it because it doesn't make since really, but I just miss him. I miss holding him, hearing his morning voice, his eyes, those beautiful butterscotch eyes, his lips... I just miss him." Louis sighed leaning forward to rest his head on Liams shoulder. 

 

"It'll be alright Lou"

 

"No it fucking won't!" Louis spat sitting up to glare at Liam for his obviously stupid remark " I ruined him and I want to make it better but I can't now, he's moved on to Alex and they have a perfect fucking family... kids an all."

 

"Louis yeah Zayn's with Alex but, and you wouldn't know this since you've not been around them, but Zayn isn't happy like he was with you."

 

"What do you mean Li?"

 

"He's just going through the motions ma-" 

 

Liam was cut off by a thick Bradford accent screaming "DAMIAN!" he and Louis shot up to look around for where it came from. Liam was hopeless spinning in circles seeing nothing until he noticed Louis wasn't looking anymore. He followed his gaze and instantly grabbed Louis' hand and started running over towards a scared Elijah and a stressed looking Zayn.

***

 

Zayn was tying Elijah's shoe when it got quiet, too quiet, he looked up and his heart stopped. Damian was sat on a branch of a tree at least fifteen feet off the ground. 

 

"Damian! What are you doing? How did you get up there!? Get down now!" he yelled sternly

 

"I wanted to be a monkey... up was easy, but I-i'm stuck daddy! Get me down daddy please!" Damian hiccuped through tears wiping his eyes to unblur his vision.

 

"I can get him daddy." Elijah mumbled tugging on the sleeve of Zayn's jumper even though he knew he, unlike his brother, was terrified of heights.

 

Zayn looked back up as Damian tried to shift his weight around almost loosing his footing.

 

"DAMIAN!" Zayn yelled again, his heart was pounding and his palms were becoming sweaty he was scared. His baby boy was stuck at the top of a tree and he was useless, scared of heights and clueless on how Damian even got up there being the first branch was clearly 5 feet off the ground.

 

"Zayn!" a familiar voice called from behind him, Elijah quickly turned and focused his attention on Liam yelling "Uncle Lamb!" (Liams nickname because apparently he was soft like a lamb).

But Zayn... his attention went to the person Liam was dragging along with him. Louis.

Zayn's breath hitched at the sight of him, a pair of loose gray joggers hung low on his hips, a white v-neck T-shirt dipped low enough to show off not only his collar bones but a bit of chest hair but the kicker for Zayn... his gray beanie. 

 

No, it wasn't the fact that Loiis was wearing a beanie that made Zayn's heart flutter, it was the fact that it was his beanie from years ago. When he and Louis split he thought he'd lost it, but there it was on Louis' head and it fucking felt amazing and hurt all at the same time. Zayn was so wrapped up in staring at Louis that he almost forgot about his son stuck in the tree behind him. 

"Daddy!!!" Elijah yelled as he pulled on Liam's hair maneuvering around on his shoulders to point back at his twin "Damian's scared at I can feel it... I feel funny. Daddy get him!" He pouted as tears started to cascade down his cheeks "I want Damian" he screeched making Liam pull him off his shoulders and cradle him in his arms. 

"I-I" Zayn started "You're scared of heights, you'll just get stuck." Liam finished for him. 

Zayn nodded in response trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. He needed to be strong for his boys, if he cried in front of them they would both lose it. 

"I'll get 'em." A high pitched voice volunteered next to him. "I'm practically half monkey and Liam doesn't know how." he half smiled and started walking towards the tree. 

"NO!" Damian cried "I don't like him! I want Daddy!"

"Baby Lou's gonna get you and give you right to me okay! He's helping daddy." Zayn pleaded

Louis had to stop himself from smiling when Zayn used his nickname. Now wasn't the time for that, Damian needed help and Louis was going to help and maybe earn some points in his favor. 

Damian pouted keeping his eyes locked on his dad "I don't know him daddy, you said 'don't talk to strangers!'"

"Damian" He sighed "just goto Lou, he's not a stranger I promise."

Damian nodded and used his right hand to wipe some tears from his cheeks before gripping the tree again to wait for the weird guy to get him down. 

 

Louis quickly climbed the tree and Damian instantly wrapped his arms around his neck and legs around his torso. He was about to nuzzle his face into his neck when he stopped at stared up at him. 

His eyes... he'd never looked at them before, hell as far as Damian was concerned he'd never seen him before, but his eyes they looked so familiar and that calmed him down so much that he stopped crying and squeezed Louis tighter.

 

When Louis finally made it down the tree and back over to Zayn, Damian practically flew into his arms and started crying again about how he was scared and how he was mad at daddy and Elijah because they didn't come save him, but mainly how he wanted to go home and have Zayn cuddle him on the couch.

 

Louis couldn't help laugh at how much Damian reminded him of a younger version of himself, Damian was a bit of a drama queen and it's no secret Louis is. Damian looked back up and Louis and mumbled a thank you, Louis smiled a brushed Damian's black hair off of his tan forehead, "No problem buddy!" He smiled and Zayn flinched and quickly said how they needed to get home because "Today was stressful and it's time for the twins naps" 

 

"Yeah... okay" Louis mumbled looking down at the ground "Uhh, see you around." 

 

"M'kay" Zayn said back almost roboticly as he scooped Elijah out of Liam's arms and hurried to his car mentally cussing himself for everything, going to the park, taking his eyes of Damian, for being scared of heights and mostly... having to have Louis save Damian.

 

The fact that this was the second time Louis had come in close contact with one of Zayn's sons made him queasy, yeah... they're Louis' boy's too but Louis doesn't know that so seeing them all together simply, freaks Zayn the fuck out.

 

***

 

Liam was watching everything looking between the hiccuping boy in his arms Zayn and Louis holding Damian. Something in Liam's gut was telling him something about this situation was weird, like a piece of information was missing. 

 

He looked up from Elijah, who he as holding in his arms, over to Louis just as he moved a bit of hair off of Damian's forehead and smiled at him.

 

Liam stared wide eyed and looked back between Louis, Damian, Zayn and Elijah and that's when...

 

"Holy shit!" Liam whispered

 

That's when it all clicked.

 

After lunch at McDonald's, Liam dropped Louis back at home and sped his way to his next destination. He had a lot on his mind, a lot to say and it couldn't wait. It was either now or never.

 

***

 

Zayn had just gotten the twins to sleep when his doorbell rang.

 

"fuck!" he whisper shouted hoping it hadn't woke the boys because if they didn't nap properly the rest of the day was going to be dreadful. He walked to the door and smiled as he saw Liam standing there, but as soon as he saw the expression on Liam's face he frowned.

 

"Li wha-"

 

"When do you plan on telling Louis about his sons, Zayn?!"


	5. Apologies

_Louis walked into a diner late one night and took a seat at the counter. He'd been feeling overwhelmed by the fame and just wanted a few moments to feel like old times when he was Louis and not Louis Tomlinson 1/4 of One Direction._

_A menu was placed in front of him and as he looked up his blue eyes locked on a pair of brown eyes, not as memorizing as Zayn's but still amazing._

_"Oh wow Louis!" She gasped covering how mouth with her right hand._

_Louis slumped back in his seat and his faint smile was now a full frown._

_"I've messed up, yeah? You wanted to not be known or am I reading too much into this?" The girl asked sounding genuine, which is a trait that has been missing from Louis life for the passed two years. Everyone wants/needs something from him. His mum, his sisters, his old mates, his new mates...it even feels like Zayn always needs something from him, so her genuity was welcomed._

_"Yeah" he admitted "I just want to be a simple lad for one day. It's all so much all the time and... I'm overwhelmed to put it simply." when he finally turned his gaze back up to the girl, she smiled._

_She didn't say anything else, she didn't need to. Louis knew that she understood him, and that for him was enough._

_"What can I get you today mister...?"_

_"You can call me Louis, and I'll take an Earl Grey and a slice of that apple pie please."_

_"Sure thing Louis, I'll get that for you ASAP." Her smile never faded as she turned to make her way over to the hot water dispenser._

_"Hey umm, what's your name... since you know mine?"_

_She smiled even wider as she walked back over to Louis who in turn was grinning back at her, "M'name's Eleanor... Eleanor Calder."_

 

***

"When do you plan on telling Louis about his sons?" Liam said with his jaw clenched

Zayn froze, how did Liam know? If he knows... who else knows? Does Louis know?

"Zayn!" Liam shouted making him take a step back and Liam's unexpected tone.

"C-come in..."

Now words were exchanged as they made their way to the living room. Zayn kept stealing glances at Liam trying to read his face and Liam kept trying to figure out what exactly to say to Zayn. Liam wasn't always the best friend he could possibly be, especially the first year after Louis and Zayn broke up, but he tried. He, unlike the others, came back. 

 

Once they made it to the living they sat on Zayns sofa, opposite sides, and stared straight ahead. No one wanted to have the first word. In a way they were trying to avoid the inevitable conversation they were about to have. 

 

"Za-" "Li-" They both started at the same time

 

"You go first." Zayn insisted with a nervous smile on his face before he turned hos gaze back to his hands and began fidgeting.

 

'Zayn... How could you not tell him?" LIam asked as if it was the easiest thing in the world. 

 

"I tried-"

 

"Obviously not hard enough if he didn't even know they existed til last week and still doesn't know they're his kids. It's been almost four years Zayn, you aren't a twenty year old kid anymore, you're twenty-three almost twenty-four. You've got to stop havin petty spats with Louis and tell him. He deserves to know!" Liam rambled off almost forgetting to breathe.

 

Silence...

 

That's all there was for ten minutes, Liam sat there staring at Zayn wanting to know what was going through his mind but was too scared to ask. Zayn sat there vigorously picking at his nails, he only looked nervous on the outside but truthfully... he was livid. He was trying to calm himself by taking deep breaths, thinking of his boys, his boyfriend, even his job, but nothing worked.

 

And eventually... he snapped.

 

Zayn quickly stood up and walked over to where Liam was seated and stood right in front of him forcing the younger lad to look up at him. Zayn's nostrils were flaring and his cheeks were becoming flushed from the anger flowing through his veins.

 

"First of all Liam!" He seethed "How dare you try to sit here and tell me how I should behave! Secondly, I did try! I called him almost everyday for six months after he left and you would know that if YOU answered any of the calls or text I sent to you, Harry and Niall! No, you all fucking abandoned me!" At this point fresh hot tears were streaming freely down Zayn's cheeks as he looked down at his best friend finally spilling everything that he had been holding inside for almost four years.

"I needed you Liam, I needed all of you! But you all took his side and you all left me like I never fucking meant anything! Do you understand how that FEELS!? Do you?" He paused to wipe away his tears only to have them replaced by new ones almost instantly. "No you don't! I was left alone and pregnant! I was scared and I fucking called all of you! I cried myself to sleep almost every night for the first six months! My mum had to practically force feed me. I didn't leave my room for weeks! You have no idea what I went through Liam! So do not sit here and try to act all high and mighty and fucking tell me how to handle my situation with my fucking kids! Don't!"

 

When Zayn finished his breathing was ragged and his chest was quickly rising and falling, tears still freshly fleeing his eyes.

 

Liam looked up and Zayn, he was speechless. He didn't know them not speaking effected Zayn like this, he didn't know Zayn needed him. He would've been there if he had known what exactly was going on...

 

But like Zayn said, he never answered.

 

And with that Liam stood and pulled Zayn by his wrist forward making their bodies crash into each other. Liam quickly wrapped his arms around Zayn's waist and held him close. At first, Zayn didn't respond he just stood there trying to wrap his brain around what just happened, what he said. 

 

Once Zayn gathered his thoughts he wrapped his arms around Liam's neck and held him close, almost as if he was scared Liam would disappear out of his life again. The thought of that made Zayn's tears come even faster.

 

"I'm sorry Liam, I di-"

 

"Don't say sorry to me, you're right! We left you, we hurt you and I am so sorry Zayn. I can't even explain how sorry I am." Liam mumbled into Zayn's neck. "So damn sorry!"

 

***

 

Once they had both calmed down they took their conversation to the kitchen where Zayn made two cups of cinnamon chai tea and opened a new container of biscuits and sat on the bar stool right next to Liam.

 

"So... do you ever plan on telling him?" Liam asked barely above a whisper scared to start a fight.

 

Zayn sighed and ran his hands over the stubble covering his jaw then up and through his hair. 

 

"I mean yeah.... I've always known I was gonna tell him one day. Just never knew when... my boys deserve to at least know who their other dad is..." Zayn wiped a stray tear off his cheek before Liam started again.

 

"Please don't take this the wrong way Zayn but what if, what if you were in Louis' position-"

 

"I would never do what Louis did to me!" 

 

"Hypothetically Zayn, What if the roles were reversed. How would you feel?"

 

Liam has a point, Zayn thought.

 

"I'd be mad...livid, the first few years might not seem like much but so much happens, they learn to crawl, talk, walk, run... become sassy little shits." Zayn grumbled the last part thinking about last week when Damian told Zayn "If you don't have to, I don't either!" when he told him he needed to brush his teeth again after eating ice cream.

 

"Fuck, I really am a shit person, yeah. I could've tried harder or something, called his mum. I don't know, fuck he's gonna hate me more that he obviously already does."

 

Liam chuckled "He doesn't hate you Z."

 

"Obviously he does, you don't just end a six year relationship for some diner girl, then after she dumps you for someone else start sleeping with half of London, including Harry." Zayn caught Liam's eyes and saw him flinch as he mentioned Louis and Harry's brief fling "Yeah, I know about it." he spat

 

"Louis is stubborn you know that."

 

Zayn tensed "Yeah well... if he's still that person I don't want him around Damian or Elijah." 

 

"Just think about telling him. its best for everyone. You, the boys and Lou."

 

"Yeah, we'll see..." 

 

***

On the other side of town, Louis was sat in his living room watching a movie. It had been a while since the last time he saw it, for obvious reasons. The last time he tried to watch it, 9 months after he and Zayn's break up, he ended up sobbing ten minutes into it and snapped the DVD in half. 

 

He was watching 'Across the Universe' he was an hour in and he was doing okay. Sure when it got the the part where Max was showing Jude a good time and sang 'What a Little Help from My Friends' he got a bit chocked up. He and Zayn on the rare occasion they did get to watch it, made it a point to actually get high along with the song. 

 

Louis sighed as "While My Guitar Gently Weeps' started to play, it was one of Zayn's favorite songs not just in the movie, but by The Beatles... and that made Louis miss Zayn even more. Louis buried his hands in the pockets of his sweats and began digging around until her found it, his phone. He unlocked it and scrolled through all 2,543 of his pictures until he found the one he wanted. It was a picture of he and Zayn standing on the chest of a statue in the middle of a water fountain. Louis was standing in front of Zayn gripping his waist , while Zayn had one hand placed protectively around Louis stomach and the other back on the statue keeping them balanced, Louis doesn't remember exactly how they got into that situation but he remembers that moment.

 

He had tried to turn around so he could face Zayn and give him a proper kiss but his foot slipped and they both clutched onto each other for dear life. That made Louis smile, they always protected each other. 

 

But Louis mucked that all up. 

 

He groaned frustrated and ran his fingers through his hair before exiting the picture and going to his contacts. He scrolled until he got to a name he hadn't pressed in so long. Too long. Louis took a deep breath before tapping it and opening a new message.

 

'To My BadBoy:

I was thinking...and you can say no, I would understand, we should go for coffee. Ya know, to talk. Try to at least be friends... Yeah?' and before he could change his mind he pressed send.

 

He went back to Zayn's contact, deciding he needed to change the name, and clicked it. He changed it numerous times but nothing seemed right. Zayn, Z, Zayn Malik, Bradford Zayn and Zanyie. Eventually though he smiled and hit save.

 

'My Zayn' simple.

 

Louis quickly stood and turned off the movie before they could even starting singing 'All You Need is Love' he and Zayn always sang that one together, not only during the movie, but just randomly whenever the other needed cheering up. 

 

As he lays back down on his sofa and waits for Zayn's reply Louis can't help but wonder, why only now, is he starting to miss Zayn? It's been almost for years and he hadn't missed him, beside's the few times he would see this movie or one of the lads would bring him up. Other than that though, Zayn was just a memory to Louis, the past.

 

But now, he wants Zayn so badly to be apart of his present.

 

And that scared Louis.

***

 

Zayn was sitting at the dinner table with his sons and Alex, he wasn't exactly sure what he was eating it looked like chicken but it definitely didn't taste like it. He was about to ask what exactly they were eating when his phone buzzed, he assumed it was work and excused his self from the table to go and get it off the kitchen counter.

 

" From Unknown:

I was thinking...and you can say no, I would understand, we should go for coffee. Ya know, to talk. Try to at least be friends... Yeah?'

 

'TO Unknown:

Who is this?''

 

'From Unknown:

Oh yeah... umm it's me, Louis.'

 

Zayn's breath hitched and he immediately dropped his phone on the granite counter top as a thousands thoughts rushed through his head.

 

The main one that stood out though was "Run , he'll just pull you in and hurt you all over again!'

 

It was probably right.


	6. Close Encounters

_"Babe!" Eleanor called out to Louis who was in her lounge room cleaning up the popcorn he spilled "Zayn's calling you again!" She groaned rolling her eyes in annoyance._

_"Shit" Louis whispered "I've gotta go."_

_"If you think he's using you why do you always go back to him?"_

_"Because El, no matter what I love him..." Louis sighed " and besides, I promised I'd take him to the event tonight."_

_"Stay here with me tonight, if he doesn't go then maybe he isn't using you but if he finds away to go then he is just a prick using you to expand his business!"_

_"I don't know El, if he doesn't go and I don't come home he's gonna freak and think I'm cheating on him."_

_"Louis... you are though..."_

_On the other side of town, Louis was right, Zayn was running around their shared flat looking for any clue as to were Louis was. It was rare for Louis to be late to anything, it was usually always Zayn who was late, and as of now... he's 3 hours late._

_No calls._

_No texts._

_Hell Louis didn't even send an e-mail._

_After another hour of searching Zayn sat on the sofa in the living room wearing his black trousers, white button up, and black skinny tie. Zayn was just about to lose it and break down in tears when Harry called him asking why he and Louis weren't there._

_"I don't know... he's four hours late and he won't answer my calls or texts."_

_"za-"_

_"If you knew something Harry, you'd tell me right? You wouldn't let me think my relationship was normal and healthy if Louis was cheating on me right?_

_Harry sighed and ran his fingers through his hair because honestly, he had a feeling Louis was cheating, but he didn't know for sure._

_"Of course I would mate, listen I'm going to get you and you can be my guest to the party. Liam and Niall will be happy you came, yeah."_

_Zayn agreed to go, not because he wanted to network the party, not because he was mad at Louis... the only reason he went was because he refused to cry and that's exactly what would have happened if he stayed in the empty flat he shared with his boyfriend of six years any longer._

_When Louis returned to the flat at three am with the excuse of 'Oh, I went to the party with just the lads bonding time', to find Zayn not there. Eleanor's words replayed in his mind._

_"if he doesn't go then maybe he isn't using you but if he finds away to go then he is just a prick using you to expand his business!"_

_Zayn was using him..._

 

***

 

After Alex and Zayn put the twins to bed that night, Alex was sat on the edge of the bed with Zayn standing between his legs pressed into his body. Alex wanted so badly to ask him who it was that text him but deep down he knew the answer, he knew the day would come where Louis would either find out about the twins or,what really scared Alex, he would want Zayn back. That he would realize how badly he fucked up and would want him back because, you don't love someone that long and that passionately to just stop one day, and leave.

 

"Zayn..." Alex mumbled against the fabric of Zayn's black 'why the fuck not'' shirt.

Zayn pulled back so he could look Alex in the eye and nodded for him to go on.

"What did Louis what?" he asked hesitantly, taking a risk, because what if it really wasn't Louis. He didn't want to cause and argument, but he wanted to know.

Zayn stared at Alex with wide eyes forgetting to breathe because, how the fuck did he know? "He... uh, he w-wanted to go for coffee... I guess to get on good terms before we leave for the promo tour on Friday." 

"You text him back?"

"No."

"Why not?" Alex questioned "You don't still have feeling for him do you?" edge becoming apparent in his voice.

Zayn quickly took a step back and glared back at his blue/grey eyed boyfriend. "No!" he lied too quickly, making it obvious to Alex "Why would you even ask me that?"

"If you don't have feelings for him, getting coffee with him should be nothing, just business. That's all he is to you now, business. Right?"

"Yeah bu-" 

"No, but nothing, if you don't have feelings for him text him back telling him you'll meet him tomorrow. I'm off so I can watch the boys."

"I don't want to be around him though Alex..." Zayn pleaded hoping that Alex would drop it... but he didn't.

"Zayn... please. I need to know there's no feelings there... and you going and coming back unfazed with prove everything to me, please baby?" he stood and took two long steps over to Zayn before placing his hands on Zayn's hips and quickly pulled him against his body.

It was silent for a while, Zayn was running everything through his head because... he still loved Louis so much he was sure he was in love with him still. He wasn't sure he'd be able to get through a full coffee 'date' without losing his mind. But, maybe this is what he needed, closure, maybe he'd be able to get answers to the question's he's been replaying in his mind for the passed almost four years. Maybe.

"You really need me to do this, babe?" Zayn finally spoke

"Yeah... but it's mainly you. You need this closure Zayn, you know it and I know it." 

He didn't reply, he just walked over to his dresser and turned on his phone to reply to Louis' text.

' To Louis Tomlinson:

I think coffee will be just fine, we need to be able to conduct ourselves in a professional manner. So, half passed 10? Newberry Cafe?'

 

***

Louis was asleep when Zayn text him back so when he woke up the next morning at 9 am his heart nearly stopped. He couldn't believe Zayn agreed, he couldn't grasp the fact he was going to have one on one time with him.

Louis wasn't pleased with how the text was worded, Zayn almost sounded like a robot, but he'd take it. He just wanted to get close to Zayn again.

 

Louis got to the small dimly lit cafe fifteen minutes early so he could pick a good table for them in the back corner so they could have privacy.

At 10:12 the bell on the door rung and when Louis looked up... his choked. 

Zayn. Was. Beautiful.

He stepped into the cafe wearing black skinny jeans, black combat boots, with a tattered white tank top covered with a black jean jacket. Louis had to take a sip of water to try and calm him nerves as Zayn locked eyes with him and slowly started walking back to him.

As he sat down Louis said "I ordered you a green chai tea, you still like that, right?"

Zayn nodded not trusting his voice because, wow he still remembered. The silence was uncomfortable, neither one of them wanted to speak first but they were both sure if they didn't say something soon, someone would snap.

"Why?" Zayn whispered avoiding any eye contact and smiled at the waitress as she placed his mug down. 

"What?" Louis asked baffled, completely unaware of what Zayn meant. 

 

"Why'd you do it. Why'd you....leave me." No matter how hard Zayn tried he couldn't stop the tears from coming and almost instinctively, Louis reached out and wiped them away with the pad of his thumb. As he did, Zayn leaned into his touch, loving the warmth that ran through his body still proving that Louis has a hold on Zayn.

Eventually, Louis removed his hand and he sat back in his chair looking at Zayn trying to figure out exactly why he left. He loved Zayn, that much is true, but resented Zayn just the same.

"S'a long, complicated story Zayn... I'm not even sure of all the details myself. It just kind of happened... fuck, I don't know!" He rambled running his fingers through his hair as he looked up at Zayn's broken face. Louis was sure he was close to crying again.

"So you just left? It just fucking happened? You left a six year long relationship just because..."

"Just... Elean-"

"Eleanor!" Zayn snapped bitterly slapping a hand down on the table causing a bit of his tea to spill. "What the fuck was so great about Eleanor? What did she have that I didn't, you left me and I was 2." Zayn slapped a hand over his mouth almost trying to shove the last few words back into his mouth.

Luckily for him though Louis didn't notice and just continued trying to explain, trying to make what he did seem not as bad, "When I met her, I was- fuck I don't know - I was having doubts about everything. Why the people around me where around me, why people needed me. It made me doubt you because right after my career took off yours started to and I started to see you as one of those people. One of those people who only needed me because I could get things and introduce you to people. You just did so well when we met celeb, you enchanted them and they ended up working with you and, shit I'm rambling now." He paused and took a shaky breath before looking back up from the table and into Zayn's amber eyes. "I thought you were like everyone else, just using me.Then I started thinking, if you were just using me then I just wasted six years of my life with someone who was using me. And that-that pissed me off because my teenage years were spent with you cuddling up in bed, instead of going out with my mates and exploring. So when I met her, she started pointing out things, like how I introduced you to Robbie Williams then a few weeks later you styled him for an award show, or that you would always come with me to parties and I just freaked out."

Zayn sat there, wide eyed taking in everything Louis just said to him. He basically called him a user and said their love wasn't real when in reality if Louis would have asked him to quit he would've with no questions asked. He would have sacrificed everything he loved for Louis... maybe that's where he went wrong. Maybe he invested too much of himself into the relationship.

"Zayn, please talk to me, please!" Louis whispered reaching out to run his thumb along Zayn's chiseled jaw, only to have Zayn slap his hand aware. 

If looks could kill... Louis would've been dead from the moment he said he felt like Zayn was using him. "Fuck you Louis, you really thought that about me? I knew you when you had nothing! I knew you when you were crying because you though you didn't a future because you failed your first A levels! I knew you when you actually smiled..." Zayn started of almost shouting but why the end it was a whisper "And you-you though I would... that I could do something like that. You were meant to be the one person who knew me better than anyone else. Obviously you didn't and you don't. I would have given up everything for you Louis, everything! After you left you just ignored me, like I was nothing to you." at this point fresh hot tears were running down Zayns cheeks and all Louis wanted to do was pull him into his lap, hold him against his chest and let him cry. But he couldn't, that wasn't his place anymore, that was Alex's job now. 

"I'm sorry Zayn! I really am, after I left you I thought I was doing the right thing ignoring you. I thought it would help you move on like I thought I was with Eleanor."

"Yeah right!" Zayn scoffed "That slag cheated on you four months later, but did you come back? No! You went with half of London oh and Harry! Did you really think I wouldn't hear about all of this?"

"I thought it would hurt less if I just stopped. I wanted you to forget about me and move on and be happy, live a fun life you were twenty. You... we were meant to be out shaggin random people from pubs, getting pointless tattoos and making reckless decisions we'd regret the next day. I felt like I was setting myself free... and you at the same time." Louis admitted 

"You make absolutely no bloody fucking sense!" Zayn growled standing and running out of the cafe.

Louis quickly through a 20 on the table and ran after Zayn- Zayn had a head start but Louis was always faster, so it didn't take long for him to catch the raven haired lad and push him in to an alleyway.

"What Louis? What do you want?!" Zayn shouted shoving Louis. All the pain he and felt the day he caught Louis with Eleanor, the day He was going to tell Louis he was pregnant, was all coming back to him. His breaths were short and shallow and his face was turning read. 

Louis quickly stepped towards him brushing the hair of his forehead placing a kiss on it before pulling him in a hug. Hugging Zayn to anyone else might have seemed like a bad idea but Louis knew it was one of the few things that calmed the younger lad down. They stayed in the position, Louis arms wrapped around Zayn's body, Zayn's face buried into the crook of Louis neck taking deep breaths to calm himself. Louis smelled just like he used to, like fruit with a hint of vanilla and that made Zayn feel at home in his arms. Even if it wasn't his home anymore. 

Zayn pulled back and stepped away from Louis but never breaking eye contact. Louis stared at Zayn as he took slower deeper breaths and he couldn't help but notice the slight blush on his cheeks or the way his eyes were clouded with something you could only describe as want. So he took a step closer, Zayn didn't more. Another step, Zayn still didn't move. Louis was right in front of Zayn, staring intensely into his eyes with their faces so close their noses bumped each other causing both of their breaths to hitch. 

 

Then Louis... well Louis did something crazy.

He kissed him.

Louis kissed Zayn.


	7. Obviously Not

_It was a cloudy, rainy, cold Tuesday, but then again when isn't it, in London when Zayn walked out of Dr. Greenfields office. He had been feeling poorly for over a month now, Louis had begged him to go to the Doctor but Zayn refused. The only reason he was there now was because his mum put a completely terrifying idea in the twenty year old's head, 'Zayn love, do you think you might be pregnant?'._

_At the time, he thought his mother was bat-shit-fucking-crazy. Only twenty-two percent of males are able to get pregnant, so the idea of him being part of that percentage was almost laughable._

_But as Zayn walked out the doors of the over priced, stuffy doctors office, it was confirmed and all in print. Zayn sat on the steps outside of the office and read the paper in his hands four more times and if you add the nine times he read it while inside, that makes thirteen._

_Patient name: Zayn Javaad Malik_

_Age: 20_

_Sex: Male_

_Zayn Malik came in today, February 12, 2012 complaining of stomach pains and vomiting. After blood and urine analysis, it is confirmed that Zayn Malik is in fact, pregnant, two months pregnant to be exact._

_And as Zayn reads that he wants to scream and cry, but he's already done that, it took two nurses to calm him down. He isn't ready for this he's only twenty and his career is just starting to take off and his boyfriend -oh God his boyfriend- he's gone months out of the year and Zayn is almost positive he's cheating on him. He can see it in the way Louis flinches away from him sometimes then smiles apologetically and pulls him in for a hug, in the way he's late for everything now, in the way... he forgot his birthday. Zayn rubs his hands over his -I haven't shaved all week face -and stood up again to head towards his flat. As much as he isn't ready for this, it's happening and he had to tell Louis. He has too._

_Zayn took a deep breath as he stood in front of the door of he and Louis' shared flat in Camdon. His hands were sweating and his breaths were shaky as he stepped through the door and shut it behind him. He took a few more steps and toed of his all black Nike Dunks right next to Louis black Vans. If Zayn hadn't been so nervous he would have noticed a smaller pair of black zebra print Vans next to Louis' but he didn't... So he turned right and started to slowly walk up the stairs to their bedroom._

_He heard the familiar buzz of Louis music playing through the door of their bedroom so Zayn paused to take a breath, okay maybe ten. When he collected himself he slowly turned the knob and stepped into the room. Only instead of finding Louis sleeping, playing FIFA or even wanking... he found him, Louis, the love of his life, pounding in to some girl. At first Louis and the dumb bitch don't even notice Zayn is there, until Zayn lets out a mangled sobbed causing Louis to stop and the girl to grab at the sheets around her to cover her naked, thin, plain body._

_Louis stays where he his, mid-thrust still inside her for a moment before he sinks into her slowly and turns his head to look at Zayn with a look for pure shock on his face, They stare at each other, pain sadness and grief clear on Zayn's face while Louis' face was blank-emotionless, before he raised his eyebrows and uttered one-simple-word. Louis simply said "Oops?"_

_Zayn ran and ran and ran until he was in front of his older sisters flat, ten miles away from his.They weren't as close as Zayn and Waliyah, but Donyia was older and she would understand better. So when she opened the door and gasped and the sight of her baby brother, Zayn threw himself into her arms and sobbed as the both slid down to the floor, Donyia holding Zayn tightly and wanting to rid him of all his pain and Zayn clinging to Donyia silently praying to wake up from the nightmare he was obviously living._

***

 

Louis lips where moving feverishly against Zayn's trying to coax a reaction out of him, he needed something from Zayn. 

Zayn was frozen because, what the fuck was going on?, how did he go from shouting, to crying, to hugging him, to snogging. How does that happen?

Louis slid his hand from the back of Zayn's neck, between his shoulder blades and stopping once he reached the small of his back and pulled him closer to him. Their hips where pressed against each other and Zayn could feel Louis' semi-hard length press to his thigh and that's when he lost it. 

His kissed Louis back, he nibbled on his bottom lip, he pulled on his hair, he smiled when Louis moaned his name, he grunted when Louis rocked his hips into him and shivered when Louis slid his ice cold fingers into Zayn's shirt caressing his toned stomach and chest. It was only when Louis nipped at his ear, something Alex does when they snog, that Zayn realized how wrong this was and roughly shoved Louis away. 

Zayn's back was pressed against the wall of the alley and Louis' back was pressed against the wall of the other side. Their eyes were locked on each other pupils dilated, almost fully black. 

"W-wh-what was that?" Zayn whispered tugging his black jean jacket around him tighter and wiping his mouth as if he was trying to wipe the kiss off his puffy, red-stained lips.

"I... oh God, I don't know. I've gone and fucked it all up again. Haven't I? I was trying to get you to be mates with me, but then you where standing right in front of me and your eyes." Louis closed his eyes to take a deep breath "You know how I feel about your eyes and I-I just lost it, I'm sorry Zayn."

Zayn stared at him, not able to think properly, this is what he wanted for so fucking long. To be able to feel Louis' lips on his, to hold him, to feel his body on his, but it's wrong. They both know that. Louis broke Zayn in the worst way possible and Zayn has a boyfriend. An amazing man who loves him with every inch of his being, who loves Zayn children as if they were his own... a man who would never hurt him the way Louis did. But, even with all of that, Zayn wasn't in love with Alex and Zayn knew that, he was almost sure Alex knew as well. He didn't get butterflies when he would wake up to see Alex lying there with pink stained cheeks and messy hair like he did with Louis. He never had the over whelming desire to be with Alex everyday even when he was away on a charity tour. Zayn loved Alex yes, but he was in love with Louis. Still. 

"I need to go..." Zayn mumbled as he turned to leave the alley "I'll see you Friday Lou." he said so quietly that Louis almost didn't hear him, but he did and that made him smile. But, it didn't last long as soon as Louis got to his car a feeling of utter sadness rushed through his veins. He didn't understand why he felt that way, he kissed Zayn, his Za-...oh yeah that's right. Zayn isn't his anymore. 

 

***

 

Zayn walked through the door of his North London home a walked to the lounge room and was greeted by the sounds of soft snores escaping Elijah and Damian's mouths as they napped on a palette of blankets in the middle of the floor. Zayn was lost in thought as he felt arms wrap themselves around his waist he almost screamed, but he quickly covered his mouth with his hand and relaxed into his boyfriends touch.

"Hi babe" Alex mumbled pressing a chaste kiss to Zayn's cheek making the tan skinned lad blush. Alex linked his hand with Zayn and led him down the hall to their bedroom, once they were inside he closed the door behind him and pushed Zayn down on the bed. 

Alex had that look in his eyes, the same look Louis did when Zayn broke the kiss, his eyes were full of lust, so Zayn wasn't surprised when Alex pushed him down completely and straddled his hips.

"How was tea?" Alex mumbled as his lips trailed over Zayns jaw and neck.

Zayn felt so guilty, he knew that he should've told Alex about what Louis, no, what they did. But he can imagine the look of betrayal on his face and he doesn't think he can bare it... so he lies. He's been doing it for years now: _I'm fine, No I don't miss him, Their father has chosen not to be in their lives, and I love you too Alex_ \- So this time shouldn't be any different.

"It was good, I think we'll be able to be around each other with out snapping. He apologized." Zayn only half lied, Louis did apologize that much is true. But the lunch went awful, they argued Zayn cried, Louis hugged him, Louis kissed him and Zayn kissed him back... hard and passionately and it was more intense than any kiss he and Alex have ever shared. 

"That's good love." Alex smirked as he slid a hand down and into the front of Zayn's pants. "Already hard for me I see." Alex smirked again and dragged his teeth down to Zayn collar bone and glided his tongue over it.

"Yeah." _but not from you._

***

 

 

It's later that night when Alex is on a business call in the office upstairs and Zayn is on the couch reading _'If You Give a Mouse a Cookie'_ to Elijah and Damian when the soft mummer of the TV in front of them catches his attention. He stops reading telling the boys to 'hold on' while he grabs the remote and turns it up.

_'Up next on Sky News: Louis Tomlinson spotted kissing, who? Find out after the break!'_

And Zayn is freaking out, but he's not moving, he's sweating but he's completely still, his heart is beating out of his chest but he is motionless. Elijah crawls into his lap to stare into his eyes while Damian resorts to poking his cheek trying to get his attention, but nothing is working. It's almost as if Zayn doesn't feel or see them, like he's the only one in the room.

 _' Can you guess who Louis Tomlinson of One Direction was spotted kissing on the streets of London today?'_ The blonde with mossy green eyes, too much make up, and too blonde bleached hair teases and she looks across to her co-host who also has too much make-up but with brown eyes and black hair.

 _'Who Claire?'_ 'Don't keep me guessing!' She fake squeals as 'Clarie's' grin widens.

_"Harry Styles!'_

And Zayn wants to cry.

 

***

 

After Zayn left, Louis called Liam hiccuping through tears and asked if he could come over but Liam said no, he wasn't in London. He was in Wolverhampton visiting his family before they left on Friday, he invited Louis to come but Louis said 'no' that he 'didn't want to be a bother'.

Louis calls his best mates Stan then Jonah but they don't answer. 

He takes a long shaky breath before he scrolls through his contacts and is forced to call the one person he didn't want to go to with this problem. But he needs someone, he's depressingly sad, he can't breath and he needs someone to hold him because... he's fucked it, he's fucked it all up. 

Louis meet's Harry outside of the Yves Saint Laurent Store on Dover street where Harry is no doubt buying some outlandishly flashy boots and sunglasses for their promo tour. But no matter how much Louis hate's Harry's flashy glasses or his sparkly boots, he's grateful that Harry is available to meet. 

"What... oh Lou you've been crying." Harry whispers as he steps forward and pulls the smaller boy into his arms, holding him tightly and swaying back and fourth. Louis just hiccups louder and fists the front of Harry's black and yellow _YSL_ stripped shirt. "Shh it'll be okay, yeah. Come one let's go inside." Harry tries to step towards the door of the _'Closed for private viewing'_ store but Louis doesn't budge. Harry places two fingers under Louis' chin and tilts his head up to look at him, his eyes are sad, red and puffy and it hurts Harry. Louis is his best mate, Louis is always there for him whenever, wherever and as often as he needs him. Which is often. So to see Louis this way, the Louis who never cries, the Louis who is surrounded by brick walls... to see Louis' walls cracking, crumbling and falling apart Harry knows it's bad. 

Harry lifts the left side of his mouth in a half-hearted attempt to smile then leans down to press a soft, small kiss onto Louis forehead before he finally pulls Louis in to the store, completely unaware that across the street were two quiet photographers. 

 

***

 

It takes every bit of self control Zayn has to not cry, to not throw the book in his hands flying into the TV, to look down at his two boys, who were still desperately trying to get his attention, and smile. He smiled at them and pulled them into his chest holding them tight and whispering _'I love you's'_ and _'Daddy would never hurt you's'_ in their ears making them giggle as his stubble brushed their ears. 

Elijah and Damian finally pulled away and looked up at Zayn not seeing anything wrong so Damian picked the book back up and asked Zayn to read again because, they had just gotten to the part where the mouse was drawing a picture and Damian really wanted to see what it was.

Zayn pushed back all his thoughts, everything having to do with Louis and Harry, and started reading again like nothing happened. Like his world wasn't falling apart again, like his heart wasn't breaking because Louis kissed Harry. There were pictures to prove it, Louis kissed Harry and now Zayn feels like an idiot because he thought maybe Louis was changing.

_Obviously not._


	8. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was typed on my phone so there most likely are errors. I'll fix them later.

_Harry, NIall and Liam were fuming, stomping around Harry's flat, taking deep breaths and trying not to punch Louis in his jaw._

_"Why would you do that to him Louis! He bloody loved you more than he loved himself!" Harry shouted throwing a pillow at Louis' face._

_"He was using me Harry, he was, Eleanor even sai-"_

_"Oh for Christ sake mate! Eleanor this and Eleanor that! What is so bloody great about her? She's gotten into your head and turned you against the one person that was meant to love you for life! She is the one using you and I don't understand why you can't see that!" Liam argued as he took a seat opposite the coffee table facing Louis._

_"Doesn't matter mate, I just came to say none of you may speak to Zayn anymore..." Louis stated_

_"Like fuck you can tell me who to be mates with Lou." Niall shouted finally adding to the arguement._

_"If you want One Direction to continue you will, If i find out you've spoken to him I'll leave the band. Don't test me because I fucking mean it!"_

_"Mate what has this girl done to you, this isn't the Louis I met at bootcamp, this isn't the smiling cheerful lad that I met in the toilets. Louis what's going on what has she told you?"_

_"Leave it Harry." Louis mumbled standing and making his way out to the door "He wasn't really your mates anyway, he was prabably just using you like he was me and well its time to move on." and with that Louis walked out of Harry's flat and into his car where Eleanor was waiting with a smug look on her face, knowing she was that much closer to getting what she wanted._

_"What are we meant to do Liam? Zayn's become one of my best mate's but Lou can't leave the band... we need him."_

_"I wish I knew Harry, maybe we should just wait until it all blows over yeah?"_

_"But mate what if it doesn't?" Harry whispered as he looked out the window to see Louis kissing Eleanor then backing out of his front drive. "This just isn't right..."_

_***_

_"Zayn baby." Zayn's mum Tricia coo'd as she quietly entered the room of her six month pregnant son. "Baby, you've not left your room in a week. You were doing so well last week, eating, exercising, and even going to the shops. What happened?"_

_"Louis and Eleanor broke up..." Zayn stated almost robotically keeping his gaze on his alarm clock on his bedside table._

_"But Zayn, isn't that a good thing?"_

_"No"_

_"Za-"_

_"He didn't come back to me mum. Now he's sleeping with half the bloody London population mum, men and women. I meant nothing to him, absolutely fucking nothing. I'm here basically emotionally and physically cripple and he's running around London shaggin anything with two legs and a fucking pulse! When did that become fair mum? How is it fucking fair!" Zayn ranted as he threw his body into his mothers arms with tears flowing freely down his face._

_"I don't know baby. I wish I knew what to say, I really do. I just now that things will get better for you, I know it! You'll bounce back in no time."_

_Zayn sat back wiping tears from his eyes and looked up at his mum._

_"D'ya promise mum? I don't think I can take much more heartbreak."_

_Tricia smiled warmly at her son "Yes love, not tomorrow and maybe not in a month, but eventually everything will work it's self out and you'll be happy again. I promise Zayn Javaad. I love you."_

_"Love you too mum."_

 

***

After leaving Harry and Niall's shared flat later that day, Louis went home to start packing for the trip. It was Wednesday and he knew that tomorrow he wouldn't be bothered with packing. So when he got to his room he turned on the tv and disappeared into his walk in closet to pull out some black skinnies and t-shirts, anything fancy dress Zayn was taking care of. He was folding his third pair of _TOPMAN_ briefs when he heard 

"Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles, more than 'friends' again! Harry and Louis were spotting getting rather friendly in front of the Dover YSL-"

A million and one things were going through Louis' head, 'how could they make a simple friendly kiss on the forehead out to be something so horrible, how did they get it at that angle and,most importantly, has Zayn seen this yet?'

Louis raced around his room looking for his phone throwing everything out of his suitcase until he found it sitting at the bottom and immediately called Zayn. Because this wasn't true not even a little, Harry was seeing someone and fuck this could ruin things with he and Zayn more than they already were after that kiss and he just wants to explain his side.

But naturally it was ignored, he called six more times before finally giving in a texting him.

_'To My Zayn:_

_Please pick up! It's important'M\_

He paced the length of his room a few times nervously picking at his nails before he heard the familiar ping of his text message notification.

_'From My Zayn:_

_Sod of you twit, I've nothing to say to you.'_

He was about to reply when he got another text.

_'How could you do this to me? After what happened today and not even two hours later you're kissing Harry in the middle of fucking Dover in the streets for everyone to see! You've not changed at all Louis and I'm mad at myself for thinking you had or were starting to!"_

_'To My Zayn:_

_Please just let me call you and explain Zayn! I promise it's not what it looked like at all! I worked so hard to get you to even consider going to coffee with me, I wouldn't mess this up please! Let me explain Zayn.'_

Again Louis paced the room waiting for a reply, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, at 15 minutes Louis was starting to lose hope... until it went off again.

_'From My Zayn:_

_Five minutes Louis...'_

And it took everything for Louis not to do some obnoxious happy dance as he quickly tapped Zayn's name and listened to his ring as he took deep breaths to try and calm his racing heart. 

 

Zayn was sitting on the oversized sofa in his lounge room staring at Louis' name flashing on the screen. 

Just answer and hear him out!  
Don't, he's just going to feed you lie and lie and make you fall again just to fuck you over... Again.   
Answer Zayn just answer.

Giving in to his 'dumber' half, Zayn sighed before hesitantly answering the call with a dry emotionless "Hello?"

 _"O-oh hi umm, wow. I didn't expect you to really answer..."_ it was weird for Zayn to hear Louis like this... so nervous. Louis was always so confident _"God I've been thinking about you all damn day Zayn."_ Louis breathed. 

"Yeah, especially when you were snogging Harry in the middle of fucking Dover for everyone to see!" Zayn spat 

_"I-I didn't kiss Harry! I swear! After you ran off I started freaking out. I called everyone but Harry was the only one who answered and when I got to him I was crying and I wouldn't listen, I didn't hear anything he said so... he just held me. Then once I calmed down he kissed my forehead and we went into the store and just talked, Zayn that's it."_

 

Zayn was about to respond when Alex walked in the room "Babe, who are you talking to?"

Zayn sighed and rolled his eyes, not completely sure where his attitude came from "give me a minute, Alex yeah!?" he snapped and instantly regretted it when hurt flashed across Alex's face as he bit his lip. "Babe, i'm sorry. Just give me a minute and I'll be there soon to tell you everything." well except for the part where I snogged my ex-boyfriend in an alley. 

Alex shrugged and kissed Zayn's cheek before retreating to the bedroom wondering what Zayn was talking about in the phone that's made him snap. 

_"Zayn? hellllo? Zayn?"_ Louis called out after a few minutes of silence from Zayn. 

"Yeah, sorry. Um. I don't know what to say Louis. Honestly. What do you want from me? I have nothing to give you, anymore."

The hold in Zayn's heart that Alex and worked so hard to half-way fill was becoming empty again they're Zayn let Louis in, the more Louis tried to convince him he cared, the more pieces he took away. 

_"I just want you to give me another chance Zayn. I was stupid and young and I wasn't thinking babe, I still love you. I never stopped, I don't know why it took me so long to realize but, fuck, Zayn. I. Love. You."_

"I don't trust you." Zayn stated flatly as his bottom lip started to quiver while he tried to stop himself from crying. 

_"I know. I know I have to gain your trust, I fucked up bad. So fucking bad but Zayn, you're all that matters to me. I pushed how I felt about you so far down below everything that I'd forgotten how I really felt but I see it clearly now."_ Louis paused to see of Zayn would respond. 

But he didn't. 

_"I'm drowning Zayn. Without you, I'm fucking drowning Zayn. Tell me you don't notice a change?"_

He didn't say anything but just nodded because honestly he did. Louis was snappy and distant emotionally but physically his cheeks had hollowed out, he was getting dark circles under his eyes and he was looking so unkempt. Which is completely different than the Louis Zayn knew, the Louis Zayn loved. Louis had changed but so did Zayn.   
_  
"You've changed too, you know that right Zayn?"_ Louis asked as of he were reading his mind _"I can see it, you've gotten so thin Zayn, too thin and you're so pale now."_

"I've got kids now, my appearance isn't my first priority anymore Louis." Zayn sighed pinching the bridge of his nose because he knows what Louis is saying is true. 

_"You're not happy, Zayn. I can see it in your eyes when you talk about him. There's no sparkle and when you smile it doesn't reach your eyes and you don't do that little tongue biting thing anymore."_

And that, the fact that Louis could still read Zayn like a book after all these years made his heart flutter, but there was still a voice in the back of his head screaming at him to 'run' and 'get away as fast as you can'

 _"Listen Zayn, I get you can't love me again...well not like you used to at least. But please, can we be friends again? like how we were before we started dating. I want you to be apart of my life, even if it is just as friends."_ Louis mumbled hoping for the best but expecting the worst. 

And that's when Zayn hung up. His heart was pounding and breathing was unsteady. He couldn't focus and his mind was fuzzy, nothing made sense anymore. He was meant to hate Louis with every fiber in his body but his heart was screaming for him to give Louis a chance to fill the void Alex hasn't be able to fill in the last year and a half they'd been dating. At the same time, his mind, his smarter half, wanted him to stay away from Louis. 

So as Zayn stood and made his way to his bedroom were his, nice, honest and kind hearted boyfriend was waiting, he made up his mind.

 

Louis was on the verge of tears, Zayn made his decision and he made that clear when he hung up on him without even saying goodbye, without giving him the chance to hear his voice one last time. 

He wanted to move, he wanted to drive to Zayn's house and make him tell him to his face that he chose Alex that he didn't want him anymore. But, Louis didn't know where Zayn lived. Louis could feel the tears begin to fill his eyes as he stared blankly at the black screen of his phone, he'd just lost Louis he was sure of it his heart was breaking and that made him even sadder, no not that his heart was breaking, that this is probably only a taste of how Zayn felt when he walked in on Louis... fucking Eleanor, only a pinch of how he felt when the gossip sites updated almost weekly with need of Louis' newest sexual conquest only a sliver of how he felt when Louis started publicly dating Harry, one of Zayn's best mates. 

And I'm the moment Louis decided he was a fucking shit person who didn't deserve to ever, ever, ever speak to Zayn again. 

But when he looked down at his phone to see Zayn's name on the screen his heart stopped, he was sure of it, it literally stopped. 

_'From My Zayn:_

_Friends. That's all I can give you.'_

Louis let out a breath of relief as he stared at his phone, he was getting a chance, even if it was only as a friend it was a chance. 

But why didn't he feel any better?


	9. Friends Cuddle?

_It was dark, he was laying on his side against a cold tiled floor with a warm body pressed closely to his front. He was out of breath, his heart was beating out of his chest, his head was spinning and he was almost completely black out drunk. He was almost in that black state of unconsciousness when the body in front of him moved to stand up._

_"If you would've just waited another month, just one more fucking month, til I broke up with my boyfriend." the other person whispered_

_"I couldn't wait forever." he slurs out_

_"You chased me for a full year and then gave up."_

_"Exactly. A full year of begging and waiting and wanting, then I decided to move on."_

_"You moved on alright babe, you're with me right now on the floor of the mens bathroom at a Christmas party while your boyfriends at home with two kids that aren't even yours."_

_Alex shot up at the harsh remarks and the realization of what he'd just done began to settle. "Fuckfuckfuck!" He mumbled to himself as he clawed at his scattered clothes and began to pull them on -sobering up "Whatever happened -this, this means nothing."_

_"Alex, a drunk tongue speaks a sober mind and you dont say the things you just said to me, whispered in my ear, and don't mean them."_

_Alex groaned and slammed his head against the door of the stall as his shaky hands buttoned up his black shirt and re-did his tie. "Devin, please, just please leave it. This shouldnt've happened, we both know that. I love Zayn."_

_"But here you are, I want you Alex. I always have, it just took me longer to realize it. I know you love me, you just told me, right now, while you had me against that wall." Devin shouted as he threw his hand in the direction of the wall that was no doubt covered in his sweat._

_"I made a mistake." was all Alex said as he walked out of the bathroom and called for his Addison Lee chauffeur to pick him up out front immediately._

_Zayn had just put the two very sick twins to bed when Alex stumbled through the door and loudly made his way to the master bedroom where Zayn was sitting atop the duvet._

_"Alex?" Zayn said shocked "The party was meant to be til 1 am. Did something happen?"_

_Alex tensed, but Zayn didn't notice. "No, nothing baby. Just didn't feel right being out with you here and the boys being sick. Just missed you s'all." Alex lied smoothly as he striped down to his briefs and got under the covers begging Zayn to join him._

_When Zayn laid next to him he couldn't help but notice the faint scratch mark on Alex's left collar bone. It made his stomach turn and he instantly flashed back to the month before he found Louis with 'that bitch'. Louis had a scratch mark on his pale winter skin but Zayn assumed it was from him and said nothing. He wants to ask Alex what happened but he he sighed and thought to himself that he can't put all his shit, more of his baggage on Alex's shoulders, it's not fair and Alex is so great. So Zayn decided to keep his mouth shut for fear of sending Alex running for the hills._

_After of few weeks of constant worrying Alex finally decided he'd gotten away with it, that Zayn wouldn't find out and Devin kept his promise to keep his mouth shut. Everything went back to normal after a while, he properly cuddled Zayn, didn't turn ghost white when Zayn showed up at his office and waves to Devin -his secretary- and he didn't deny Zayn when he wanted to lock his office door and 'have a bit of fun'._

_Everything was normal...until Alex slipped up again while he and Devin were in America, then again in Sri Lanka and Moscow and Monterrey. And fuck Alex might be worse than Louis ever was._

***

 

Louis was standing outside of the tour bus waiting for Harry and Zayn pacing because he hates being late and the bus was meant to leave ten minutes ago and now they're going to be ten minutes behind for everything and it's frustrating and Louis wants to pull his hair out but Liam sensing his frustration pulls him into his side and softly pats his back.

"Where are they?" Louis groans

"Mate, it's just a few minutes and we don't have anything technically to do until tomorrow so we're fine. Just relax."

Harry pulls up next to the bus -tires screeching- and speed walks up to Louis and Liam in all his clumsy awkwardness mumbling a quick sorry and hi before running on to the bus and joining Niall in the back lounge to play FIFA.

Just as the doors closed behind Harry, Zayn's black on black Range Rover pulls up and he quickly jumps out of the driver seat as Tricia -his mum- exits the passenger side. Louis wants to shake him and grumble at him for being late, he wants to but he doesn't because he can see it on Zayn's face that something's wrong.

Zayn's brows are pulled together, his jaw is clenched and his eyes are sad. He practically runs to the back door of his SUV and pulls Elijah out and holds him tight, so tight Tricia puts her hand on his arm to silently tell him to loosen up. Zayn wishes the overwhelming sense-the need, to hold Elijah close was just because he was leaving, leaving for two weeks. That's thirteen days longer than he has ever been away from them, but that's not it. Not it at all.

When Zayn woke up this morning Elijah was sitting on Zayn's bed with tears silently streaming down his face. Zayn quickly sat up and pulled the crying three year old into his lap and held him close until his breathing calmed. Zayn pulled back a bit so his amber eyes met Elijah's soft brown eyes "Tell me what's wrong love." Zayn cooed thumbing away tears.

"D-da-daddy..." he whispered "Y-you do-don't love me!" He screamed and fisted the front of Zayn's black t-shirt and buried his face in his neck again.

It felt like someone was ripping Zayn's heart out of his chest "No baby no that's not true!" he sighed wrapping his arms tightly around his sons torso. "Why'd you think that Jah? Daddy loves you so much, love. So so much."

it was silent for a moment before Elijah pulled back again and whispered "You don't hold me like Damian,you don't kiss me na-night anymore daddy. You don't love me dad, you don't" and with that Elijah is crying again, full sobs, body shaking- sobs!

Zayn couldn't figure out why Elijah was feeling this way, he tucked the twins in every night, read them stories and cuddled them plenty. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks, after the kiss with Louis looking at Elijah hurt more that usual so Zayn tried to avoid looking directly at him. He didn't realize that Elijah noticed or that he was shutting him out and favoring Damian. Zayn was breaking his little boys heart without even realizing it. 

It took thirty minutes to calm him down and even then Elijah still didn't fully believe him. When Zayn tried to put Elijah down while he woke Damian up, Elijah just wrapped his arms around his neck tighter and whimpered.

So now, here he is after just learning that his son doesn't even think he loves him, having to leave. And it hurts but as he walks over to the bus and hugs his mum goodbye he kneels down so he's eye level to the boys and pulls them in tightly peppering their faces and heads with kisses and promising to FaceTime them every chance he gets. As he stands he picks Damian up for a hug and puts him down when he picks up Elijah though, he stands there for a while and whispers to him reassuring him the 'Daddy loves you forever'.

Zayn went on the bus and finally said 'hi' to everyone but as they all went to play FIFA and watch movies, Zayn just went to his bunk. An though he'd never admit it if you asked him, he cried, he was going to miss his boys.

 

 

The lads left Zayn alone that night sensing he was upset since he never came out of his bunk. They wanted to invite him to the club they we're going to but quickly decided against it because when Harry went to his bunk and slightly opened to curtain Zayn shoved him away and pulled it shut again. So they left without another word.

When the lads got back that night they were completely piss drunk, Harry and Niall tripped after every step they took towards their bunks and Liam opted against even walking that far and just laid out on the sofa by the bus driver.

Louis though, Louis had a weird need when he got drunk.

"Psst, Zayn! Scoot over." Louis whisper shouted as he clumsily tried to climb into Zayns top bunk shoving him to move over.

"Mmf go away Louis"

"I wanna cuddle Zayn, please!?" Louis asked louder contorting his face into a frown because he knew Zayn was never good at ignoring it while they dated.

"Fuck. Off. Louis. Tomlinson."

"Cuddle?" he whimpered

Zayn sighed and rolled over to look at Louis, his eyes were glazed over and he was sticking his bottom lip out looking completely adorable.

"You're almost twenty-six and you still need to cuddle when you're drunk?" Zayn scoffed propping his self up onto one shoulder. 

"Mmhmmm"

"Go ask Harry then ,yeah." He replied bitterly and went to close the curtain again.

"Zayn please," Louis whimpered "j-just once, please?"

"Louis no."

"Please."

"no"

"Zayn, we're supposed to be friends. Friends cuddle their friends!!" Louis shouted pulling the curtain open further, his eyes trailed up and down Zayn's body that was wasn't covered by his duvet. He started at the waistband of his CK briefs and slowly climbed his body taking in every outline of muscle, every tattoo, every freckle. 

"Fuck Louis!" Zayn groaned moving over "Get in don't touch me and shut up!" Zayn yelled and rolled over to face the wall letting Louis climb in behind him.

Louis quickly toed off his shoes kicked off his black skinnies and pulled his shirt over his head tossing it to the floor and climbed into bed with Zayn closing the curtain. The bunks were small so Louis scooted in right behind him and instinctively wrapped an arm around Zayn's waist.

Zayn sighed rolling his eyes and swatted Louis hand away. But Louis didn't take the hint and placed his arm around him again, "Zayn stop being a twat and lets cuddle!"

They laid in silence, Zayn finally decided there was no use fighting with Louis, he's an argumentative drunk and Zayn just wants to sleep. After a while Louis spoke up knowing Zayn was still awake because his breathing was still jagged and his heart was pounding in his chest.

"Why were you in a mood this morning?"

"I wasn't" Zayn dryly pushing his face further in to his pillow

"Babe, I know you. Something was wrong." Louis wrapped both of his arms tightly around Zayn and pulled his body firmly against his.

"You don't Louis, I'm not the same person I was back then. So don't sit here and pretend, okay."

"I'm sorry Zayn."

"It's fine."

"No, I mean about everything. I shouldnt've let her in my head. I should've talked things through with you" Louis whispered the last few words as Zayn rolled over and flicked on the light in his bunk to look Louis in the eye. "I mean it when I say that I will make it all up to you one day and you'll be happy with me again, Zayn."

"I am happy. I'm happy with my kids and my boyfriend." Zayn said defensively moving a few inches away from Louis.

Louis ran his hands up and down his face before turning to lay on his back and looked at the top of the bunk, "That's the thing though, you're not. Well, you are with the your boys. When they're around your eyes sparkle and when you smile you do that stupid tongue thing again. But -and I'm just being honest- when you talk about Alex, there's nothing no sparkle just... you just go through the motions. Like it's something you have to do and it shouldn't be like that Zayn. You should be happy all the time." Louis finished and pulled Zayn in for a hug, Zayn struggled to get away for a while but eventually he gave in.

Every word he spoke took another chunk of Zayn's heart. Zayn could feel the walls he had built up to keep his love for Louis at bay starting to crumble and that scared him. He didn't want to let him back in, he wanted him to stay away, he wanted to keep his heart safe, his boys.

His boys, they weren't completely his though, right? Even though he raised Elijah and Damian his self they were never completely his, a piece of them always belonged to Louis even without ever meeting him. Like the color of Damian's eyes and the way he acts, calm and collected one minute then screaming, laughing and jumping the next. An Elijah, oh little Elijah, Louis' carbon copy. same skin tone, same lips, jaw, cheeks, same hair just... he is Louis. 

"I just need time, Louis, just some time." Zayn broke away from the hug and looked in Louis' half closed crystal blue eyes "I just need to figure everything out in my head. There's so- there's so much going on in my head all the time and maybe one day I'll tell you but I just need time Louis."

Louis nodded and hesitantly leaned forward placing a soft kiss to his forehead. Zayn sighed happily and leaned into his touch. "Goto sleep Lou, we've got to be up and eight and you're gonna have a massive hang over."

"Goodnight Zayn, I love you." He whispered the last words holding Zayn close

"Yeah... I know. Now shut up."


	10. Own the Night

_"Up next on Access Hollywood we have breakout actress Eleanor Calder talking about her new role in the sixth Transformers installment! Stay tuned!"_

_Louis sighed as he watched the image of his ex-girlfriend on the screen before the show turned to a commercial. It had been one year and six months since he left Zayn, eight months since Eleanor made a fool out of him and one week since he's woken up in bed next to some random guy or girl he met at a pub or a club._

_"Eleanor, tell us about how you got this role? You've literally come out of no where, one moment you were dating Louis Tomlinson one-forth of One Direction and being his shy slightly awkward girlfriend and now you're on the big screen."_

_"Honestly, it was a lot of hard work a lot of sleepless nights, a lot of failed audit-"_

_Finally fed up Louis yelled "Fucking liar!" and threw the remote at the window the tour bus shattering the remote and slightly cracking the window._

_"Lou? What's wrong?" Harry asked as he walked in to the room with wild hair in just a pair of gray trackies, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He went and sat by Louis wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulled him into his side._

_"She's fucking everywhere Haz, everywhere I look Eleanor this Eleanor that. She doesn't deserve any of this! She used me, she didn't audition or do anything! I introduced her to that director at a party then a month later she was moving out of my house."_

_"Lou" Harry sighed rubbing comforting circle on to Louis' back "I thought we were over this. She is a shit person. She lied to you, manipulated you, hurt you."_

_"I fucking loved her though Harry, I really did."_

_Harry tried to stop himself from snorting and rolling his eyes because, Louis didn't love Eleanor, he put all the left over love he had from Zayn in to her. He took her places, did things for her but he never truly loved her. He went through all the motions a boyfriend was meant to but that wasn't love. Not even close._

_When Harry didn't reply Louis looked up and him and nuzzled himself further into his chest. "Do you ever get lonely Haz?"_

_"You know I miss my family while I'm gone Lou." Harry stated as if it was the most obvious thing_

_Louis sat up turning on the sofa to face Harry. "No I mean lonely-lonely. It's been months since Taylor, are you lonely?"_

_Harry stared up at the red velvet ceiling of the back room and took a deep breath "I guess I am, I didn't really think about it until now." he mumbled._

_People never accepted Harry and Taylor relationship and that made it even harder to maintain but Harry really did care for her, so when it ended, Harry really was saddened by it._

_"Me too." Louis mumbled softly_

_Harry turned locking eyes with Louis trailing his eyes from Louis blue eyes to his thin pink lips then down to his collar bones and then shirtless upper body. When Harry's eyes looked back to Louis' he noticed he was doing the same._

_"It sucks being alone" Louis whispered leaning in closer to Harry._

_"It does" Harry replied mirroring Louis' actions_

_Their foreheads rested on each other as their breaths became uneven and their hearts started beating out of their chests. Then just like that, they closed the distance soft plump pink lips meeting slightly rough then pink lips._

***

 

The next morning Zayn woke up he shimmied out of Louis grip and climbed over him to get out of his bunk. Last night was too weird and he wanted to get away, not to mention due to being dead asleep when Louis woke him up, he didn't remember much. Zayn walked into the back room of the tour bus and slid onto the couch next to a sleepy looking Liam.

"Have enough to drink last night mate?" Zayn asked smugly

"I'm actually not even hung over mate." Liam smirked

"Then why are you up so early, you don't have to be up for another forty-five minutes." Zayn said looking at his phone

"I was just thinking."

"What's wrong Liam?" Liam is Zayn's best friend- has been for almost 6 years- so Zayn knows that when Liam says he's 'just thinking' that it's something else. That something is wrong.

"Nothing Zayn I know you wont wanna talk about it." He half smiled as he patted Zayns left thigh trying to get him to drop the conversation.

"Liam c'mon say it." Zayn sighed knowing exactly where this conversation was going. Its the thing he's been putting off for almost four years.

"You have to tell Louis mate he-"

"I don't have to tell Louis anything actually. He gave up his rights when he left."

"He didn't know he had anything to give up Zayn he didn't know! We've talked about this."

"Exactly" Zayn said crossing his arms over his chest as if he was trying to block Liam's words. "so I don't know why you're even bringing this up."

"Because it's been two weeks since I found out and by the looks of it you're no closer to telling Louis!" Liam spat becoming angry by his best mates stubborn actions. 

Zayn shifted on the sofa so he could sit criss-cross with his legs on the sofa and stare back at Liam "I told you I'd think about it and I am."

"It's almost their birthday Zayn" Liam sighed rubbing his fingers through his disheveled hair "That's four year, four years Louis has missed out on. He was a shit person back then and maybe up until recently even, but he deserves to know his kids. You and I both know Louis would be a fucking amazing dad, yeah. Even if you don't want to be in a relationship with him ever again Zayn, which we both know you do even if you won't admit it, he has the right to know that those two boys are his." Liam reached over to grab Zayn's hand pulling it into his lap and lightly tracing the dove tattoo "He's not stupid, even if you don't tell him... he'll eventually figure it out. You need to tell Louis!"

"Tell Louis what?" Liam and Zayn's heads snapped up, effectively ending the conversation, to look at the doorway to see a very hung over Louis staring at the slightly confused adjusting the waist band of his boxer briefs. "Tell me what?" he asked again walking into the room sitting closely to Zayn, so close that their thighs were touching.

That's when it set it, sure Zayn had felt guilty about keeping Damian and Elijah away from Louis before but never as guilty as he feels right now. Because, he knows it's true, Louis would be an amazing father. Louis loves kids and goes out of his way to make sure they're taking care of. Louis was the one who would leave their A-levels early if one of his sisters got sick at school and needed to be picked up. Louis was the one who would give Lottie the jacket off of his back if she forgot hers in her cubby at school. Louis was a nurturer and Zayn can't help but think that if he's like that with his sisters and his friends children, what he'd be like if he was with his kids. 

"Are you not going to tell me what you were talking about then?" Louis asked raising an eyebrow at Liam and Zayn as he lifted his arm to rest it along Zayn's shoulders.

Zayn looked between he and Liam before locking eyes with Louis and smiling softly "Soon, I'll tell you soon."

Louis chuckled and rolled his eyes"Whatever you say Zaynie boy."

"Alright lads" Liam said standing and walking towards the door "time to wake Harry and Niall so we can get ready for the interview, I'll wake Niall. Louis, you got Harry?"

Louis laughed again "Harry is in Nialls bunk, I almost tripped over his freakishly long legs on the way back here they're just hanging out there."

 

 

 

"Zayn c'mon come out with us, it'll be fun when was the last time you actually went out dancing." Niall asked as he wrapped his arms around Zayn's waist trying to pull him towards the doors of the bus

"Niall stop! I go out plenty"

"Work functions don't count!" Niall snapped back

"Maybe I don't wanna go out with you lot."

"Please," Niall laughed "we're a bloody fucking party!"

Zayn shook his head and took a deep breath "Fine, but I'm staying with Liam. He seems to be the only one who can hold his liquor." Zayn laughed walking passed Niall and to the van waiting outside where the other three lads were. When Zayn stepped into the bus Harry pulled him into this side and began planning their assault on the club, the drinks they we're gonna take, the people they were gonna chat up, the songs they were gonna request, everything. Zayn smiled going along with whatever Harry was planning _(even though he had no intention of actually going along with it)_ , because this felt like the old times before everything went to shit, before he was abandoned. 

 

 

"Yes!!" Niall cheered handing Zayn his third shot of Absinthe, this along with the various other drinks Zayn had already downed made for a very drunk very hyper Zayn. He took the shot and then grabbed Nialls hand pulling him on to the dance floor where Harry was already dancing with some fit bloke with sandy blonde hair.

Louis and Liam were sitting at the bar slowly sipping beers having a good times as well just not as boisterous as the other three. They were oblivious to what the other three were doing until Liam turned around in his stool and almost choked on his beer. He quickly swallowed before before slamming his hand into Louis shoulder trying to get his attention so he'd turn around as well. 

"Oi! Liam that hurt, what the-" Louis paused as he took in what he was seeing "What the fuck!?"

In front of them was Harry and the random blonde bloke dancing laughing and holding each other closely, that wasn't what hair their eyes bulging out of their sockets. It was the fact that Niall was bending Zayn over and basically dry humping him as the Caked Up Remix of Applause by Lady Gaga blasted through the speakers. Zayn's hands were laying over top over Nialls as they rested on his hips pulling Zayn closely in to his pelvis.

It started in Louis stomach, that feeling, jealously. It started bubbling in his stomach and slowly started to work its way up to his chest. If looks could kill, Niall would be six feet under buried in cement. 

But when Zayn reached back and laced his fingers through Nialls hair as they both took another shot from the shot girl and Niall continued to roll his hips in to Zayn before leaning up to whisper in his ear. That, is when Louis decided it was time to go.

 

 

Later that night on the bus as they were driving to their next location and after Niall and Harry bitching out Louis for making them leave an hour before the club closed, Zayn was sitting next to him on the sofa in the back of the bus. Louis was still fuming from Zayn and Nialls basically dry fuck session and Zayn was sitting there drunk shying away from Louis. 

After thirty minutes of awkward silence Zayn figured no one was going to say anything, he stood and started making his way towards the door. Only he didn't make it very far because as soon as he took two steps towards the door he was pulled back and thrown on the couch. Before his drunk mind could fully register what was going on Louis was straddling him and pinning his hands about his head.

Louis leaned down closely to Zayn's face, so close that his lips softly brushed his cheek before making it to his ear. Louis lips grazed Zayns ear as he whispered "Watching you with him, _fuck Zayn_ , watching you with Niall, " he moaned rutting his hips against Zayn's clothed crotch "You were doing that on purpose, I know you were. You wanted to get me jealous so I'd do this. You always loved to make me angry." Louis could feel his hardening member rub against Zayn already fully hard length.

Louis ran his tongue across Zayn's jaw making Zayn hips buck up to create the friction he so desperately wanted. The feel of Zayn rolling his hips to meet Louis' thrust was enough for the small amount of self control Louis had left to dissolve. He crashed his lips into Zayn taking in their softness, the way his lips molded against Louis', the way Zayn's body felt like home against his like nothing had changed, like they hadn't been apart for four years. This further com firmed in Louis' mind that he needed to get Zayn back, that he needed to get Zayn to see that he needed to be with him and not that Alex twat.

Louis' hands slipped under the hem of Zayn's shirt softly tracing the contours of his torso and the feel of his skin, Liam walked in. 

"Zayn I was ju- oh fuck!" Liam gasped taking in the scene in front of him. 

Zayn froze looking back and forth between Louis and Liam before finally shoving Louis off of him and sitting up. His hand flew up to cover his mouth as what he had just done began to set in. "Oh God" He mumbled "not again!"

"Again?" Liam asked confused

"Shut. Up. Liam!" Louis spat as he tried to move closer to Zayn so he could calm him down but Zayn just slapped his hands away and stood up making his way out off the room.

"I'm just... I'm just gonna go to bed now, uh yeah." Zayn mumbled walking out of the room quickly running passed a still confused Liam leaving a stunned Louis on the sofa. 

Liam sighed and went to sit by Louis on the now tainted sofa "Mate" he spoke softly "what happened? he asked placing a comforting hand on Louis shoulder giving it a squeeze.

"Liam, I -I think I just messed it all up again." Louis whimpered his resolved crumbling as he tucked his face in to Liams shoulder letting silent tears fall. 

"Lou, it's gonna be alright." Liam said trying to be comforting and sound sure of himself even if he didn't fully believe it. 

 

Zayn laid awake in his bunk listening to Louis' soft cries coming from the back room making Zayn's heart break. This wasn't Louis fault and he knew that, yet Louis was in the other room crying because he felt bad. This was Zayn's fault he knew what was gonna happen when Louis threw him down on the couch, he knew Louis like the back of his hand so he should have pushed Louis off of him straight away but he didn't. Deep down he knows he wanted that to happen, deep down he knows that during those five minutes he felt more alive than he had at all during the last four years, that he liked it. 

He liked it way more than he should've considering he has a loving boyfriend.


	11. Homewrecker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {I'm jittery from caffeine so this won't be edited until tomorrow}

_Zayn was out with his one-year-old twins at the Victoria Park enjoying a his day off and spending time with his boys. They were sat by the water watching other families with older children running around and feeding the ducks. He watched as his sons nibbled on banana's getting it all over their lips and chin when he heard a familiar voice shout his name._

_Zayn became stiff silently praying that he was wrong._

_But he wasn't._

_"Hey Zayn." Liam said cautiously as he slowly walked to stand beside Zayn who was sat on a blanket with the boys. "Umm, wow."_

_"What do you want?" Zayn spat bitterly and yeah Liam knows he deserves that._

_"I was out for a jog, and I thought I saw you from across the pound so I ran over here and yeah, it's you." Liam mumbled out quickly_

_"Yeah, it's me so you can leave now."_

_"Actually, I. I wanted to talk to you. I've wanted to you for a while like I never wanted to stop talking to you. I swear."_

_Zayn hadn't looked up to meet Liam's eyes yet but when he did he could see the genuinity behind them. Liam was sorry._

_"I just. I mean, are th- are those your kids?"_

_"Yes" Zayn replies dryly trying to show Liam he doesn't want this conversation, which thankfully he understands._

_Liam takes a deep breath and takes a seat next to him and Zayn visibly stiffens._

_"It's good to see you've moved on mate, you deserve that. The lads and I were gutted about what Louis did to you."_

_"RIght."_

_It went on like that for a while, Liam apologizes and Zayn spitting back bitter one word answers. But when little one year old Elijah crawled across the blanket and into Liams lap, Zayn's defence mechanism fell and he slowly started to open up to Liam._

_He was getting his best friend back. And whether he wanted to admit it or not because he was still hurt, he was excited for it._

 

***

 

For the rest of the promo tour after that night, things had been a bit awkward between Louis and Zayn.

Louis because even though Zayn had told him it was alright, he still felt guilty that he had ruined the budding friendship between he and Zayn. 

Zayn because whenever he had a free moment his mind was on Louis, the way Louis skin felt, the way his lips still molded perfectly with his and LouisLouisLouis.

 

Louis was sleeping in his bunk when the sound of Zayn shouting in to his phone woke him up. 

"Alex, you were meant to pick up the boys last night... My mum has work later she can't take the boys with her and now she has to disturb Donyia on her only day off so she can watch the boys...Yes i understand she doesn't need to work but she likes to work and that's not the fucking point!...Fine, see you in a few days you twit!" Zayn yelled followed by the sound of a phone slamming in to the wall of the bus. 

Louis quickly jumped out of bed almost tripping over Harry's legs sticking out of Nialls bunk and ran to the back lounge room. When he got there Zayns jaw was clenching and unclenching in anger and he was running his fingers through his sleep styled hair. He ran and sat next to Zayn careful not to touch him yet because it was clear Zayn was agitated. 

"He hasn't showed up to pick up the boys yet, Lou. He was supposed to be there last night but he didn't show up and he wasn't answering my mums calls so she called me at fucking five a.m. thinking something awful had happened to him but that wasn't the case at all. I called him and he said he extended his Ghana trip three more days so he won't be back until the day before we get back from this promo tour. So I'm just gonna have then stay at Donyia's until I get back. But, wouldn't he think that it was important to call and tell me that? The boys and I rely on him and he just wasn't gonna call? Then he said he doesn't understand why my mum even works since I put money in her account every week. What the fuck does that have to do with anything? He's being an arsehole today and I can't fucking figure out why!?"

Louis sat there slowly patting Zayn's thigh letting him rant, letting him get it all out. After a while Zayn's breathing finally evened out and Louis pulled him into his chest and ran a hand softly up and down his back, he had something to say and it was now or never.

"Zayn, babe. Does he always do stuff like this?"

"No. He's usually good about his trips and when he has to pick up the boys. Lately... just the last few times... I don't know, it feels, I guess his trips have been a lot of work. Yeah that's it." Zayn rambled trying to find excuses for Alex rather than admit what he really thought, how he's felt since the Christmas party last year. 

"That's bullshit Zayn and you know it." Louis spat a bit harsher than he intended but he needed to get his point across. 

"What the fuck would you know about how a relationship is supposed to work, aren't you the king of running out on people?"

By this point Zayn was no longer cuddled against Louis chest, he was staring straight ahead with his knees pulled in to his chest, while Louis was seated criss-crossed facing him.

"You right, I probably don't how a proper relationship is supposed to be but I sure as fuck know when someone is lying. Deep down you know it to!"

"No i don't Alex has done nothing but be an amazing person to me and to my kids. He's raising two fucking kids that aren't even his but he loves them just the same!" 

Louis was getting so worked up over the obvious bullshit Zayn was trying to spin to make it seem like Alex was perfect that he didn't even realize Zayn said that Damian and Elijah weren't Alex's. Zayn had only ever told Liam that the twins weren't Alex's so spilling it to Louis in the middle of an argument was a big deal that neither of them noticed... not yet anyway.

"No, if he was raising those kids like his own he would be there exactly at the time he was meant to! He wouldn't have them waiting out on the sidewalk for him until they realized he wasn't gonna show!" Louis yelled his anger finally bubbling to the surface

"They weren't on the fucking sidewalk Louis! Chill out, you're always so fucking dramatic!" 

"It's a figure of fucking speech Zayn! Now you tell me they way he's acting right now doesn't remind you of my shit behavior towards the end of everything? I fucking treated you like dirt but you made up every excuse in the book for me! Tell me that's not what you're doing for him? He might not be as bad as I am but fuck Zayn just... fuck. Okay I need to say this." Louis grabbed Zayn's arm to make him turn and face him so that they were eye to eye "Just let me get this all out before you say anything, yeah?" 

Zayn nodded moving so that he was in a comfortable position facing Louis trying to keep his face emotionless. Louis' words were getting to him, he knew they were some what true, he just wasn't ready to admit it yet. 

"When I first saw you... it was crazy to see you smiling because of him. Liam said he made you feel incredible but I didn't wanna hear about it 'cos I was the idiot that hurt you and let you go." Louis paused to place his hands on his shoulders. "I don't know, maybe I was... no, I am jealous. But Zayn, he's making the same mistakes I did and I want you to promise that when you realize what he's doing that you'll leave. That you won't stick around and put up with his bullshit like you did mine. You deserve so much more than that Zayn, more than what he's giving you and more than what I gave you. You deserve to have someone get you flowers just because and run you a damn bath when you get home from working with rude annoying celebrities like me all day. You deserve someone who will raise your kids like they are truly theirs, fuck Zayn you deserve to be truly happy. You know that right?"

Zayn's eyes were glazing over with tears and his heart was racing "He loves me Louis."

"Yeah, I'm sure he tells you he loves you I can't figure out how you got involved with him.. but I guess that's might fault yeah. I wish I could walk away from you cause it hurts to watch you with him, fuck Zayn it hurts. But I deserve to feel like this I do." He moved closer to Zayn grabbing his hands and placing them in his lap. "Just I'm here waiting for you, if things with him go to shit and I'm right about him. I don't want to be right, because that means you'll end up hurt but, just in case he makes the same mistakes that I did my heart is still with you and I'll be here waiting for you okay. Don't forget that."

Zayn was about to reply and tell Louis that, no he wouldn't forget about him, that he couldn't even if he tried and that if Louis was right about Alex he'd leave. It was on the tip of his tongue all he needed to do was open his mouth and it'd be all out in the open but Harry stumbled in to the back room 

"Why are you lot yelling? It's bloody seven a.m. mate." He plopped down on the sofa next to Zayn and laid his head across his lap. "Well, what's up? You fighting again?" He mumbled in that half sleep half rasp voice that only Harry can do and opened his eyes looking up to Zayn and seeing tears in them. He quickly shot up and pulled Zayn in to his bare chest and ran his fingers through his hair. "You were fighting. Louis what'd you say?"

"Nothing Harry, Louis didn't do anything. Just emotion s'all."

Harry glared between Louis and Zayn before scoffing and laying back down in Zayn's lap effectively ending their conversation. 

 

Two days later after Zayn and the lad's got back from the promo tour, Zayn drove directly to Doniya's to pick up his sons.As soon as he walked through the door Elijah and Damian tackled him to the floor and started peppering kisses to his face and tickling him all over. At dinner Zayn apologized over and over about having to watch them on one of Doniya's few off days but she insisted it way okay, so he didn't press it further. 

After dinner he loaded up his car with all they boy's luggage and headed home. He pulled in to the front drive of his house and handed Damian the keys so he could open the door while Zayn got all the luggage out of the car. When he walked through the door he kicked of his shoes next to the boys and headed up the stairs towards their rooms where he could hear them laughing and already throwing toys around.

"Boys" He laughed looking between then Damian was wearing his spider-man mask and Elijah had on his Hulk mask. "it's time for a bath it's late and daddy is tired. We can cuddle in bed after?" He smiled trying to get his boys to agree with him, which thankfully they did. "Now run to daddy's room and run the bath how I showed you and I'll grab some clothes for you." 

Damian and Elijah giggled as they ran through the corridor towards Zayn's room. Zayn was picking the boys out their matching coca-cola jam-jam's when he heard Elijah and Damian both scream at the top of their lungs followed by the sound of their feet running back down the corridor. 

Damian was first through the door "Daddy there's someone in there dad, don't know who it is dad!"

"Daddy!" Elijah screamed as they both gripped on to his legs. 

Zayn instantly went in to protective mode thinking there was an intruder in his house, he quickly hid the boys in their closet and told them not to come out until her came to get them. He went to leave but they started crying again, Zayn told them to hold on to each other until he came back and that everything was gonna be okay. 

Zayn left their room and slowly walked to the door of his master bedroom and heard hushed voice coming through the door. He grabbed the vase off the table by the window and placed his hand on the handle and slowly started to open the door. The sight in front of him was one he never hoped to see again. Alex was sitting on the side of the bed with his face in his hands only in a pair of boxers while Devin was on the other side of the bed wearing a pair black briefs and one of Zayn's shirts.

Everyone stayed in their places for a while, Alex and Devin didn't more while Zayn let his eyes roam around the room taking everything in. The messy sheets, the scattered clothes and they smell of sex in the room.

"What. The. Fuck. Is. This!?" Zayn yelled making Alex and Devin jump out of their skin. 

"Fuck Zayn." Alex mumbled face still in his hands.

"I said what the fuck is this!?"

Alex ran his hands over his face while Devin slowly moved trying to reach his jeans on the floor. 

"Zayn baby it was a mistake, I'm so sorry babe." Alex stood and started walking to Zayn holding his arms out for a hug but Zayn quickly swatted his hands away. 

"Don't you fucking touch me, not after you've been with him! Fuck you!" he seethed

"Baby I promise it was just one time!" Alex pleaded reaching for Zayns hands again.

"The fuck it was." Devin finally spoke up "It's been happening for almost nine months, since last year's Christmas party, off an on."

"I knew it..."Zayn mumbled more to himself than anyone else "You can home with a scratch on your collar bone but i just brushed it off and thought it was from me. But fuck," Zayn paused to walk around Alex to Devin "You've been smiling in my face for month every day I came to see Alex at work, lying to me making it seem like everything was okay but you've been fucking my boyfriend behind my back!" he shouted shoving Devin in to the dresser knocking everything on it to the floor.

"Don't blame all this bullshit on me!" Devin shouted back 

"Trust me" Zayn laughed darkly and turned to Alex "I want you out of my house, I bought it before I met you, I want you fucking out all of your shit!" Zayn was snapping shouting not holding anything back "All of your stupid pretentious paintings, your fucking sculptures from God knows where I want it all fucking gone when I get back! One fucking week Alex I want you gone and I never want to see you again!"

"You don't mean that baby, you love me, the boys will miss me!" 

"Fuck you Alex! don't you ever fucking bring up my fucking kids you arsehole! Stay the fuck away from us and don't ever come back!" Zayn yelled slapping Alex across his face and running back to the boys room pulling them out of the closet, they had stopped crying but were still visibly shaken. 

"Where we going daddy? Is the man gone?" Elijah mumbled against Zayn's throat

Zayn didn't want to bother his sisters again of but his mum in the middle of the soap opera that is his life so he went with the next best option.

"We're gonna go stay with uncle Liam okay your suitcases are still downstairs. C'mon let's go." Zayn was trying not to cry to keep it all in but he could feel himself cracking 

He led the boys down to the car and strapped them into their seats before running back in the house to grab all of their luggage and threw it in to his trunk. Before Zayn got in the car he dial Liam's number.

After the second ring Liam picked up with a smile evident in his voice "Zayyyyn mate! What's up?"

"Liam" Zayn cried his resolve crumbling "I need to come stay with you me and the boys please!" 

Liam quickly paused the FIFA game he was playing with Louis and sat up "Zayn I'm staying at Louis' remember my flat is being remodeled. Zayn what's wrong?"

"Please ask Louis if I can come there, please Liam, please?" He was full on crying now, tears falling down hs cheeks and his throat burning

There was mumbling on the other line before Louis spoke in to the phone "Yeah come over Zayn whatever you need. I'll text you my address." Zayn said okay and went to hang up but stopped when he heard Louis voice yell for him on the other side "Drive safe okay, I can tell your crying. Just... if it gets to be to much call us and Liam and I will come get you."

"Yeah Lou, Okay." Zayn spoke before hanging up and getting in to the car trying to quickly compose himself "We're gonna go hang out with Uncle Liam and Louis for a few days. That's fun yeah?"

"Where Alex daddy? Is he comin'?" Elijah sleepily mumbled around his thumb he was sucking

"No, no more Alex go to sleep boys. I love you both so much." Zayn whimpered before the twins fell asleep. 

A few seconds later his phone went off showing he had a text message from Louis. He typed the number into his GPS and sighed when he say it was only a fifteen minute drive away. He put the car in drive and headed to the last person he expected to ever run to. Louis...


	12. Lou Lou?

_"Where daddy?"_

_Zayn chuckled while looking at two year old Damian who was sitting in his lap and staring at him with wide blue eyes._

_"I'm right here bub."_

_"No, not you daddy, daddy?"_

_It only took Zayn a few seconds to realize who Damian was talking about and even less time for him to start freaking out. He quickly sat Damian up and cradled his face in his hands to look his straight in the eyes._

_"Baby, Alex is not your daddy, okay? You call him Alex not daddy."_

_Damian stared at him confused because daddy loves him and takes care of him when he gets a booboo and is scared but so does Alex, so therefore Alex must be daddy too._

_"But Alex is dadd-"_

_"No, Damian Alex isn't your daddy. Please do this for me, just call him Alex yeah? Alex is his name, my name is Daddy that's why you call me daddy."_

_Damian stared at Zayn for a while trying to make sense of what he was just told but his little two year old mind couldn't make sense of it so he just shrugged and climbed out of Zayn's lap and took off to where Elijah was._

_Later that night when Alex came home from work, Damian dropped everything and ran to him like he usually does while Elijah stayed playing with his toys. Damian was always closer to Alex while Elijah stayed away; as Zayn watched he prayed Damian understood what he said about what to call Alex an as if Damian was thinking the same thing he turned to look at Zayn._

_Zayn smiled tightly and almost choked when Damian opened his mouth only to say, "Missed you Alex" before wrapping his arms around his neck and holding him tight._

_Alex helped raise the boys, yes, but Zayn never wanted his boys to be confused as to who their father was. Even back then he knew he would tell Louis one day, preferably on his death bed, but one day._

 

***

 

Instead of only taking fifteen minutes to drive to Louis house, it took Zayn almost forty-five minutes because he had to pull over a few times to stop crying. He was confused and hurt, he thought he could trust Alex thought that Alex wouldn't do to him what Louis did. He might not have been in love with Alex (and he might have kissed Louis twice) but he loved him and Zayn would've settled for that if it meant he didn't have to worry about being heart broken again. 

Eventually, Zayn pulled in to the front drive and put his SUV in park, as soon as he did two people came running out of the front door. Thinking he didn't exactly want to be held by Louis right now, Liam ran up and wrapped his arms tightly around Zayn's body and whispered soothing words in his ears while Louis opened the back door of the Range Rover and slowly and carefully removed the two sleeping boys and took them in to his house. 

Once Zayn's sobbing became silent tears, Liam lead him inside and sat him on Louis' over sized sofa.

"What happened Zayn?" Liam spoke softly while wiping a tear of Zayn's cheek with the pad of his thumb

He took a deep breath to collect himself, he didn't want to cry anymore. He was tired of being weak "It was like Louis all over again, Liam." he paused looking him in the eye "The boys are the ones that found him, I don't even know what they saw, I didn't ask." Zayn looked around the lounge room "Where are the boys, are they still in the car? Liam we left them in the car?" he slightly panicked

Liam smiled and pulled Zayn back down on the couch once again pulling him in to a hug to calm him, "Louis' got them, he took them upstairs and is probably changing them for bed."

Normally this would bother Zayn, but right now, in this completely fucked up situation, he can't be bothered. So he sighed and curled back in to Liam's chest and closed his eyes. "I don't want to talk about it right now Liam, it hurts too much."

He nodded and started slowly carding his hands through Zayn's hair "It's okay we don't have to, but just know I am going to kick his arse." Liam spat as he smiled sweetly 

 

 

Almost thirty minutes later after changing the boys in to his shirts -since their luggage was still in the car- and laid them gently in the bed, he stood at the door and admired the boys, wishing that he and Zayn could've had kids together. He would have been a great dad, even with touring an everything, he would've been there for them every free moment he had. He would have taught them how to ride bikes, to skateboard, to play footie and Zayn would've taught them all the artsy things, it would've been perfect. 

"Stop dreaming Louis... just let it go." he mumbled to himself as closed the door thinking 'Those kids aren't mine, no matter how much I wish they were' and made his way downstairs to talk to Liam and Zayn.

 

When Louis got downstairs Zayn was laying on the couch with his head in Liams lap staring mindlessly at the tv, Louis sat next to him and pulled his feet on top of his lap. No one said anything for a while, they all just sat their in comfortable silence. Louis wanted to ask what happened but when he looked over at Liam the look on his face let him know that now wasn't the time. 

 

"Zayn, you can go sleep in my room or with the boys they're in the other guest room."

He shifted around in his position so he could look at Louis "No, the couch is fine. I don't want to take your bed." Zayn mumbled quietly his voice still raw from crying

"Zayn, it's fine. It's obvious you've had a rough night, you need a good rest more than me." Zayn went to speak about but Louis held up his hand and then gently reached for Zayn's and pulled him up to lead him to his room.

 

 

When Zayn woke up the next day he forgot where he was for a moment. He looked at the red walls most of them bare but one wall was full of Spider-Man memorabilia, three platinum records for One Directions albums and framed covers of magazines. When he finished examining Louis' room the uneasy feeling left over from the previous day worked it way back to the front of Zayn's mind, he figured he should get up to look for the boys but stopped when he heard his phone vibrate on the bedside table. 

There was thirty missed calls and almost double text messages... all from Alex. He knew he shouldn't open them but Zayn might be a bit of masochist. 

 

_please come home babe, I miss you and the boys. I know you miss me too._

_we can work through this_

_c'mon babe i said i'm sorry. x_

_fuck Zayn stop being so difficult!_

_I'm not gonna stop until you tell me to my face you don't want to be with me anymore._

Zayn quickly tapped the reply button and typed out _"I told you to get your shit out of my house, what more do you need."_ he hovered over the send key knowing that by replying he was only fueling Alex, but he didn't really care. His was losing his filter, so he quickly hit send before he second guessed himself again. 

Almost instantly Alex replied _'that was out of anger, I know you didn't mean it.'_

Zayn nervously chewed on his lip, a part of him thought maybe he really didn't mean what he said. Everyone deserves a second chance right? But the more he thought about it, the angrier he became. Alex knew what Louis did to him, Alex knew how depressed he was all through his pregnancy and for the first year after the twins were born and he did the same thing.

_I know you've read my text. At least let me say bye to my boys?_

"What th- is he...fuck!" Zayn snapped

 _They aren't your fucking boys. They are mine not fucking yours they never were. I am daddy and you were always Alex get that straight._ Zayn paused for a moment considering if he really wanted to send what he was actually thinking. It was ruthless and heartless but fuck Alex. _I never fucking loved you. You were someone...no- something to pass the time with. Get all of your shit out of my house by next weekend or else when I come back it's all going in the fireplace._

_Zayn._

 

Zayn as always after a fight with Alex, threw his phone at the door but Louis, with perfect timing, opened the door and the phone smacked him right in the face. His hands flew up to sooth his cheek where the phone had hit him and Zayn chewed on the inside of his cheek feeling back but also trying not to laugh. 

"What. The. Fuck?" he mumbled as he staggered towards the bed sitting on the side opposite Zayn "I came to tell you the twins are down for a nap seeing as it's almost one and their dad has decided to sleep all day." He smirked but then it quickly turned to a frown as he took in Zayn's appearance, "Zayn-"

"No. We aren't talking about this. I'm not ready quite yet."

"Okay... Liam told me what happened. Oh and Elijah told me he saw Alex and a 'bad man' together in your room." Louis smiled remember the way Elijah visibly shuttered when he said 'bad man' "But... Damian's upset. He's barely said anything all day, he's knows somethings wrong and I caught him opening and closing all the doors in the house. I think he's looking for Alex."

Zayn winced, he knew if anyone it would be Damian who'd miss him the most. "Alex want's to be able to say bye to them."

Now it was Louis turn to wince "You've been talking to him?"

"He texted.."

"And?"

Zayn sighed and sat up a bit straighter looking Louis right in the eye "I told him that they aren't his kids and to get his shit out of my house or I'm burning it. I told him that last night too."

"You didn't!" Louis was shocked, Zayn was never one to lose his cool. No matter what shit situation he was in he kept it chill. "You, Zayn Javadd Malik lost your temper?"

"It all happened so fast. One moment I was getting ready to give the boys a bath then I was standing in front of Alex and Devin. It's fucking crazy" he laughed darkly "He knew what you did to me, he hated you for it. Literally when I told him the first time he wanted to find you and beat your face in...but then he did the same thing. For nine months. Nine." Zayn paused to look at Louis and seeing him sitting there sitting criss-cross with his elbows on his knees and his head rested in his cupped hands looking just like Elijah Zayn blurted out "I told him how depressed I was during my pregnancy how everything just seemed so blah, like nothing mattered and he still did this."

"Why were you depressed? I figured that's like some special time and it's all sonograms and smiles and stuff? No?"

 

"It... nevermind. I'm gonna go find Damian I'm sure he's only pretending to sleep so he doesn't have to talk." 

And like that Zayn was gone and Louis was left confused sitting in the middle of his bed. 

 

 

When Zayn found the twins, he found them both awake and whispering to each other and as soon as they noticed Zayn they practically tackled him and Damian immediately asked for Alex. Zayn explained slowly and thoroughly that Alex was no longer going to be a part of their family, that Alex wasn't meant to be with them and (for their benefit) he told them that Alex would always love them and to never doubt that but it was time for him to move on.

Damian was distraught and that made Elijah as mess. Zayn, who was already clutching Damian closely to his body and telling him that it was going to be alright, reached out so Elijah could be part of the hug as well. Only, Elijah wanted no part of it and quickly stood up and ran away. Zayn sighed feeling a bit worse that this was effecting the boys this much, but didn't go after him assuming he was going to wherever Liam was. 

Elijah ran around the whole house whimpering with tears spilling down his cheeks. He ran to the kitchen straight passed Liam and looked out to the backyard, then ran back through the living room and started climbing the stairs on all fours so he wouldn't fall. When he made it to the top he ran to the room he slept in but what he was looking for wasn't in there, so again he slammed the door shut and ran to the end of the hall and slammed the door open instantly smiling when he saw what he was looking for.

"L-LouLou." he cried trying to climb up the bed " I want up Lou!" he shouted tears falling faster down his cheeks.

Once Louis realized that Elijah was in-fact crying and not just being dramatic he crawled over to the edge of his California King and helped him up. He quickly scrambled in to Louis' lap and clutched his shirt tightly. 

"H-hey bub, what's wrong?" Louis tried

"No." Elijah said simply letting him know he didn't want to talk, not even a little.

"Just like your dad." Louis laughed softly holding the crying boy tighter and rubbing soothing circles in to his back

Elijah didn't know why but playing with Louis, while Zayn was asleep earlier, made him feel more comfortable than he'd ever felt while playing with Alex. 

Louis couldn't explain it but when he held Elijah things just felt right, like he was meant to be here, with him, with Damian, with Zayn. 

When Elijah pulled away Louis slid his fingers over his cheek bones wiping up the tears his shirt had missed.

"You're gonna be okay you know that right? As long as you have your dad and Damian you'll be okay." 

Elijah smiled up at Louis nodding "and you too." it was so quiet that Louis almost missed it. But he didn't answer he wasn't entirely sure what to say, so he just pulled Elijah in for another hug and hummed softly rubbing the small boys back. 

What Louis and Elijah didn't know was that Zayn was standing right outside the door peeking around the corner holding a now sleeping Damian, he had seen everything and he couldn't help the warm feeling he got watching Louis hold their son. 

Maybe, Zayn thought, maybe I'll tell him sooner....


	13. Taking a Trip

_"I don't want you to go Zayn" Louis whined throwing Zayn's suitcase on the floor spilling everything Zayn had just packed out._

_This was the first time since they started dating two years ago that they were going to be apart longer than a day._

_"Jesus Lou!" he snapped "That's the sixth fucking time, stop it. It's only for two weeks and I'm gonna miss you too." Zayn smiled kissing Louis' forehead_

_"But it's America and it's New York the city that never sleeps, so much can happen."_

_Zayn raised an eyebrow crossing his arms over his chest looking at him "Like what exactly?"_

_"I don't know" he mumbled shyly biting his lip "There could be some other fit bloke there and he could sweep you off your feet and yeah."_

_He threw his head back and laughed at his boyfriend, "No one else will have your bum" he smirked "no one else with have eyes the right shade of blue, no one else with have your stupid brown feathery hair and most importantly no one will have my heart. Therefore, no one is sweeping or taking me anywhere."_

_"I was trying to be serious you twat."_

_"You're being dramatic Louis, It'll all be fine and I'll come back and you'll feel stupid for ever feeling like this."_

_Zayn walked over and sat on Louis' lap one leg on each side of his body while Louis wrapped his arms around Zayn's waist._

_"You're a complete nutter but I love you Lou" he whispered his lips lightly grazing Louis' cheek bones_

_"And you're just a twat but I still love you Zayn" he smiled and turned his head to catch Zayn's lips._

 

***

 

 

The next few days went by easily for Zayn. Louis and Liam had taken care of the boys in the morning so that he was able to sleep in or just lay in bed and have alone time. It's been nice for Zayn, he feels less tense and less stressed.

He was laying in bed when his phone started playing a specific ringtone signaling that it was his office, he hasn't been in for the last few days to check on anything, so he automatically assumed something was wrong.

"Hello?" he spoke worriedly in to the phone.

"Hi Mr Malik, it's me Stacey the new intern. Anyways, Katy Perry's agent called and she's going to a charity gala on Saturday in New York and she specifically wants you to be there with her pulling options for what to wear." She rambled "I told her you'd been out of the office dealing with a family emergency like Miranda's been telling me to say but her Agent is pushy and so I called you."

"Well..." Zayn thought about it for a minute. Damian has been fascinated with the Statue of Liberty since Waliyha went and bought him a souvenir. He went weeks talking about it and making Zayn tell him facts about it constantly and Elijah, well anywhere with good pizza is amazing to him. "I'll go. Call her agent and tell her I'm in and I'll have plenty of gowns for her I choose from. It's Thursday now, I'm assuming she wants me there Saturday morning so we have all day to go over our options?" 

"She wants you Friday for outfit selection then on Saturday for the final look."

Zayn sighed starting to feel slightly rushed.

"Book a flight for me and my kids for later tonight and text me the details." He muttered before ending the call.

"Well there go my plans." Liam smirked leaning against the door frame making Zayn jump

"When'd you get there?" he gasped dramatically clutching his chest. "And plans for what?"

Liam came and sat next to Zayn on the bed putting an arm around his shoulders and pulling him into his side.

"The lads are all over, Damian loves Harry by the way you might be down a kid. Anyways we were talking and we have to go to LA for 1D day on Saturday and then the AMA's on Sunday and we wanted you and the boys to come. We thought the boys would've had fun at 1D day with Lux and just watching." He smiled rubbing Zayn's arm

"Damn, that would've been fun, I'm sure they would've loved it. But then again Katy Perry is better than you lot!" Zayn laughed standing up and made his way to the door "C'mon I'm gonna go tell the boys now."

As Zayn and Liam made their way downstairs the sudden sound of laughter filled their ears and Zayn had to stop and just listen a massive smiling etching it's way on to his face. When he finally entered the room Niall and Harry were sat on opposite sides of the sofa glares on their faces and not bothering to look at each other while Louis was rolling around on the floor having a tickle fight with Damian and Elijah. 

Damian sat on Louis' chest while Elijah sat on his legs tickling him wherever their tiny hands could reach.

"Seriously boys stop I'm going to wee myself, stop!" Louis panted struggling to get free without hurting one of the boys 

After watching silently for a while he and Liam when and scooped up the laughing boys while Louis quickly left sprinting for the bathroom. Zayn sat with Damian in his lap and observed his two friends on the sofa "What's with them?" He whispered to Liam raising an eyebrow

"One of them got carried away playing their stupid 'jealousy' game last night and now they aren't speaking." Liam rushed out as he put Elijah to sit on his shoulders.

He looked at Liam still not understanding why Niall and Harry played a jealousy game. You only try to make someone you like jealous so they'll snap and tell you how they feel or maybe kiss you or... "No way! Why didn't anyone tell me they were-" 

"Harry and Niall are too dense to actually say they like each other so they do this thing whenever they go out where they completely ignore each other and basically try to shag whatever bloke or bird gets in their way. Only, right before they get there one of them is meant to snap. Only, last night no one did and Nialler over there-"

"Snogged some orange-fake-tan fucking boulder of a twat!" Harry spat cutting Liam off "Bloody fucking tosser" he mumbled crossing his arms over his chest leaning further away from Niall.

"I said I was sorry at least a dozen times but he won't fucking listen to me! I didn't mean to do it!" Niall shouted as he turned his body to face Harry. 

"And I said how the fuck do you accidentally get snogged against a wall Niall, how the fuck does that even happen?" 

"I was drunk."

"So was I but I managed to keep my tongue in my mouth."

Zayn sat back with wide eyes watching his two mates go back and forth with each other before he finally spoke up "If you both know you like each other what's the point of the game? Why not just... I don't know, be together?"

"Lou and I have told them the same thing but like I said, they're too dense." 

Harry scoffed and stood up "Fuck off Liam, I'm going home." 

"But, you're my ride home." Niall mumbled looking toward Harry but not meeting his gaze

"I suggested you get your arse up then huh." He shrugged making his way to the door and Niall instantly followed behind like a lost puppy.

"By the time they step in their flat they'll shag. Happens every time." Liam laughed once he took in the look of utter confusion on Zayn's face.

"Daddy, Uncle Harry and Uncle Niall say lots of bad words. Why they didn't get time out chair?" Elijah asked looking over at Zayn from Liam's lap. 

Zayn just laughed ignoring his question and started to tell the boys about the trip they were taking later and needed to start packing for. 

Once they twins left the room with Liam to start repacking their suitcases Louis entered and sat on the L-shaped sofa next to Zayn. 

"We've been together everyday for almost three weeks. M'gonna miss you and the boys." he whispered softly flicking some of his long hair out of his eyes. "I sound like a sap but I'm so use to having you with me, having the boys with me."

Zayn smiled softly brushing his fingers over Louis' sharp cheek bone. It felt like old times, it felt like before everything went to shit. It's like they were back in high school and Zayn was leaving to visiting family in New York, they were both nervous about being a part for the first time in their two years of dating. Zayn smiled softly watching Louis out the corner of his eye while he continued to play with the fringe of his hair. He could see him in the twins, not just in Elijah's physical appearance or in Damian's eyes, he could see him in the way Damian is always quick with a come back when someone says something he doesn't like or how he's so easily fascinated by water the same way Louis is. Whenever they go to the beach Damian stands there and just watches the water for a while taking in the way it moves and how it looks before finally going in. He can see him in the way Elijah is kind to everyone he meets, everyone believes Louis is a snarky arse-hole but he isn't, he genuinely loves and cares for everyone around him and Zayn can see that in Elijah. 

Zayn didn't realize he was staring until Louis met his eyes and smiled. 

"You can say you're gonna miss me too Zayn, it's okay." Louis nudged his nose against Zayn's shoulder

"I'll miss you, so will the boys."

"I know you just ended things with Alex but, I really want to take you on a date, I really want to show you I care, I really... I just want you and I want the boys I just want us all of us to work and I know you do too." Louis stressed

Zayn shifted in his seat shifting away from Louis but turning to face him. "I still have something to tell you before I can do that Lou." he sighed

"Then just tell me Zayn, whatever it is we'll deal with it and move passed it."

"It's just..." Zayn said awkwardly scratching the back of his head "it's a lot and it could scare you away and I need time to prepare for that because if you leave again; I won't let you back in." he finished coldly

"I wouldn't"

"You said that before, you promised that before and you still left, words mean almost nothing to me, your actions count for everything Lou." He patted Louis' shoulder and stood to make his way to the stairs before turning to look back at Louis who was staring down at his lap quietly picking at his fingers "I'll tell you when we all get back, we can go out to eat just you and I and I'll tell you...everything." 

Zayn smiled sadly and made his way up the stairs to pack thinking this was probably the last good moment between he and Louis. In his mind, as soon as he tells Louis about him finding out he was pregnant that day, about his pregnancy and about the boys, that Louis would do what he does best; leave. 

Zayn was terrified.


	14. Truth Revealed

_"Mum," Zayn whimpered in to his mobile "I can't get Damian to stop crying. He hates me I know he does, why won't he stop crying!?" Zayn was wailing at this point struggling to rock a sobbing two-month-old Damian._

_"Mum, why have you not answered your phone all day," he paused sniffing trying to clear his nose so he could breathe "I don't think I can do this, I'm not meant to be a father. I can't raise them how they need obviously."_

_Zayn sighed, his wailing had mellowed in to soft whimpers "I just... maybe I... nevermind. Just please call me back mum." Zayn almost whispered_

_Zayn cried almost everyday for the first six months after the twins were born. He was overwhelmed, alone and still desperately heartbroken._

_Zayn was at wits end about to just lay Damian in his crib close the door and run to the opposite end of the house when his mum finally called him back._

_"Oh God mum!"_

_"Shh, baby it's okay, yeah. Damian doesn't hate you love, he's just a colicky baby. It'll stop soon, maybe two more months and he'll be just a sweet and lovely as Elijah is all the time Zayn." Tricia paused trying to think of ways to sooth her panicking son "Why don't you come over and we can have a sleep over and I'll make you your tea how you like it, just come over Zayn I worry about you."_

_Zayn smiled sadly picturing his mum probably sat on the sofa trying not to cry tracing her fingers over her knee. She always did it when she was sad or worried almost like she was trying to sooth herself._

_"Yeah" he mumbled "That sounds good. I'll been there in an hour, I need to figure out how to get Damian to stop crying first."_

_"Just be patient Zayn, parenting isn't easy but I know you'll be amazing babe."_

_Zayn nodded even though she couldn't see him and said goodbye._

 

***

Zayn lugged his two sleeping boys up the front steps of _The Peninsula New York_ a five star hotel in _New York City_ only two streets away from Central Park. When he finally reached the front desk he was aggravated because it was two in the morning and he had to carry not only two sleeping three (almost four) year olds but also a luggage cart of not only their two suit cases but also numerous garment bags full of dresses for Katy to try on. 

"Mr. Malik! The overly nice front desk attendant smiled "We've been expecting you. Katy has booked you suite 943, it's the room right next to hers. Here's your key and she also told me to tell you she needs you in her room by seven am sharp to start figuring out her outfits. She bought a friend that needs to be fitted as well."

Zayn groaned letting his head fall back and closed his eyes. He was already stressed because he was dressing Katy Perry on of the top pop artists in the world but also a friend. He didn't know their measurements he hadn't prepared for this and one thing Zayn hated was being unprepared. 

 

 

The next morning Zayn quietly made his way in to Katy's room with Damian and Elijah quietly tucked behind him and searched the massive hotel room for Katy and whoever her surprise guest was. He followed the talking and laughter coming from down the hall calling her name so he didn't scare her when he walked in the room. 

When he turned the corner he froze, no way this could be happening. Of all places, of all people it had to be her. When he abruptly stopped the twins didn't notice and continued walking in to the back of his legs then knocking back in to the door alerting Katy and her that someone else was in the room.

"Zayn!" Katy smiled jumping off the sofa and pulling him in for a tight hug "and little Zayn's hi babies remember Auntie Katy? Probably not you were only one when I met you." she cooed at the slightly confused boys who were wondering why the lady who sings California Girls was so close to their faces.

"Oh right, this is my friend El. Sorry I didn't tell you before but she needs a dress too. That's okay right?" she finished slightly scrunching up her face as if to silently add please.

What could Zayn say? He couldn't just flat out say 'I'd love to dress you Katy but that bitch has to fucking go.' he wanted to but Zayn if nothing else was a professional and had a reputation to uphold. He wasn't one of the most sought after stylists for nothing.

So instead he said "It's fine, I'm sure have something to give the illusion that she has some sort of curves to her body. "

Katy's eyebrows rose disappearing in to her bangs before letting out an awkward laugh.

"I'm gonna go put on my slip so we can get started" an then she was gone

Zayn walked the boys to a sofa facing a window and handed them both their mini iPads to keep them occupied promising pizza and ice cream if they behaved. He walked over to the wardrobe cart and starting taking all of the dresses out of there garment bags when he felt someone standing behind him. 

He dramatically rolled his eyes "What do you want?" 

"Oh poor little Zaynie still beneath me." She said in a disgustingly cheerful voice

Zayn just scoffed and moved to open another garment bag.

"How is Louis doing? Last I heard he was shagging Harry."

"Eleanor stop it. You're twenty-six therefore older than me, therefore meaning you should at least be able to match my maturity. Now if you'd excuse me I need to get more dresses ready for my client." 

"I'm your client as well."

"No, not really. I'm doing it as a favor to Katy who happens to be an amazing person which is why the fact that she's friends with you surprises me." he smiled and moved around her to the next dress

"How's that fit boyfriend of yours? I saw the two of you in a fashion magazine, don't suppose he likes to visit diners at nights, right?" Eleanor asked coming to stand in front of Zayn once again crossing her arms. 

"Broke up." Zayn spoke flatly 

"Too bad -" She was gonna continue with some smart-arse comment but stopped herself when Katy entered the room again. 

"Fucking Bitch" Zayn whispered to himself before taking the first dress off the hanger.

 

 

Zayn was sitting around his hotel room with his boys cuddled in to his side. After spending six long hours with Katy and that girl, he took the Elijah and Damian sight seeing. They went to _TImes Square_ to the insanely large _Toys 'R' Us_ including _M & M's World_. 

Now it was quiet, too quiet, the twins were asleep and the TV was on low so it wouldn't wake them. The room was quiet but Zayn's head, his brain, was full of noise. It was working on over drive trying to figure everything out; how to tell Louis, where to tell Louis and when? 

He knew he had to do it, to tell him. Louis deserved to know, watching Louis with the boys the last few days confirmed that, but it didn't help Zayn's worrying. Louis leaving wanting nothing to do with him or his sons was constantly weighing on his mind. He couldn't go through that again, the pain of being alone. The pain of the only person he's ever truly loved wanting absolutely nothing to do with him and he thinks maybe he can get away with never telling Louis and just having him there, maybe not as a lover or their other father but just there, with them.

But then he looked at the sleeping boys on his side, they were getting older, sure they had asked who their other dad was before but Zayn always brushed it off never really answering just saying he was 'someone important' and left it at that. But now that they were getting older he knew that wouldn't work for much longer.

 

 

After seeing Katy and it off the next day Zayn and the boys went back to their hotel room to watch the AMA's and order room service. Well, Damian and Elijah didn't care so much about watching TV they just knew they were getting ice cream. When the lights dimmed after Emma Roberts introduced them, Zayn made the boys face forward and watch.

Harry started and Damian crawled up to the front of the bed pointing and talking about how his uncles hair was really big and needed a cut. When Liam came up Elijah just smiled and looked back at Zayn to make sure he was paying attention, which he was. Damian sung along with Niall bouncing around on his knees excitedly because he actually knew the words to this song and it was Niall who had blue eyes like him which Damian found fascinating. 

Then it was Louis' turn and Zayn couldn't breathe, he looked amazing. His jacket was tailored perfectly to his body tight in the waist and squaring off his shoulders. Then he opened his mouth and his heart stopped, Louis used to sing to Zayn sometimes after Zayn came home from a long day at his office dealing with celebrities or his junior stylists. They would change into their pajamas, Louis climbing in to bed first and Zayn cuddling in to his side, he would wrap his arms around Zayn caressing his back and place gentle kisses wherever his lips could reach. As soon as he could feel Zayn start to relax he would sing their song to him, Boats and Birds, softly and full of breath just loud enough for the two of them. Zayn would join in sometimes but he mostly just liked to listen to Louis.

When the song finished Zayn made up his mind, he was gonna tell Louis when they both got back to London.

 

 

Zayn had just pulled out of his parking spot in short term parking at the _London Heathrow Airport_ when his phone rang. He sighed figuring it was probably work so he didn't bother checking the caller id and said hello. 

"Tonight."

"What?"

"Tonight, let's go to dinner tonight. I already talked to Liam and he said he was fine watching the boys so you can come here and you don't even have to go back to your house yet just come here." Louis spoke quickly not taking a breath

"You're mumbling Lou, what?" 

"I'm taking you out on a date tonight and you can tell me whatever you need to say and we can move on so we can be us again, yes? okay!"

Zayn sighed he hadn't planned on it happening so soon but now was better then later right?

"Okay. Okay yeah, I'll come drop of the boys then we can go."

 

 

It was happening. Louis was sitting in front of him with a fringe swooped over his forehead wearing a white button up with tight black jeans and black Vans looking... _fuckable_. It was awkward but not a bad awkward, it was first date jitters kind of awkward where neither one really knew what to say or do. 

"Well," Louis spoke up after a few minutes breaking the silence "I guess in order to start or try us, you have to tell me something first?" 

Zayn looked up from his lap where he was fidgeting with his fingers and met Louis' piercing blue eyes and just stared for a minute. 

"Yeah, um yeah." he choked out "so the boys birthday is next month."

"Uh... September?" Louis questioned not really understanding what this had to do with them not being able to try a relationship. 

"Same day as Niall's actually the thirteenth." Zayn smiled 

"That's awesome Zayn but, what's this have to do with our relationship?" he said slowly trying not to say anything wrong.

"They're gonna be four." 

"Oookay?"

"It's 2016."

"Zayn I know what year it is."

"Think about it Lou." Zayn whispered looking down at his fingers again.

Louis racked his brain trying to figure out what this was so important, Zayn wasn't helping. Hell he wouldn't even look at Louis, so he thought over every aspect and almost gave up after five minutes. Then he started doing math, if they're turning four this year that means Zayn gave birth in 2012 but he and Zayn were together in 2012 but they broke up in February. September's the ninth month of the year...Zayn was pregnant when they broke up?

"You cheated on me?" Louis whispered looking at Zayn trying to make eye contact

"What?" Zayn gasped "No, what the fuck?"

"Then I don't get it because if you didn't that would mean they're mine but you would've told me if I had kids right?"

 

_Silence_

 

"Zayn, you would right?" he tried again. When Zayn didn't answer he sat up straighter in his seat and tapped the table in front of him to get his attention "Zayn!?" he hissed

Zayn looked up at him startled and flinched back, "I tried"

"What the fuck does that mean? 'You tried?'" Louis could feel himself being over come with anger. How could Zayn not tell him? How could he keep something this big from him? 

"That's four fucking years Zayn!"

"You don't think I know that!" Zayn whispered trying to keep his voice down considering they were in the middle of a restaurant "I raised them by myself Louis, my fucking self from day one!" 

"You decided that when you didn't tell me you were fucking pregnant." Louis seethed his face becoming redder by the second.

"I decided this? I chose this? How about the day I fucking found out I was pregnant and came home to tell you I found you balls deep in that diner bitch Eleanor, who I saw this weekend by the way oh and news flash, she's still a massive bitch. I came home to tell you, to discuss our options but you had different plans that involved you fucking cheating on me after six fucking years!" Zayn's heart was racing he was finally getting out all his aggression towards Louis, finally telling him how he felt.

"All you had to say was 'Oops?' oops Louis really? After six years all you had to say was oops, fuck you Louis. I did try you know I did! I called you every-fucking-day for almost six months. I called you, I called Harry, I called Niall, and I called Liam but none of you thought it important enough to even answer a text or send me and e-mail. I needed you Louis, my pregnancy was horrible, the first four months after they were born were awful. Elijah had a heart murmur and Damian was a colicky baby he cried for hours everyday for four months straight and I couldn't do anything about it do you know what that's like!? No you fucking don't because you couldn't have any decency to answer a fucking call!" Zayn spat as he cross his arms over his chest which was raising and falling quickening due to his shallow breathing. 

Louis stared at him with wide eyes not knowing what to say with tears welling up in his eyes. Some much was going on in his mind, he wanted to blame everything on Eleanor, he really did but at the end of the day it was his decision. Louis tugged at his hair frustrated looking at anyone or anything other than Zayn,

"Don't you have anything to say?" Zayn asked calmly looking up at Louis, who looked like he was falling apart. He didn't feel bad though Zayn knew whatever Louis was feeling was nothing compared to what he himself felt. 

Louis chewed on his lip trying to stop himself from bawling because he couldn't make out how exactly to say how he felt. He had so much to say but it's like they were stuck and he was getting overwhelmed.

So Louis did what he does best when he overwhelmed and frustrated.

_He left._

He stood up not even sparing one last glance and Zayn and left.

Zayn stared at the door of the restaurant in shock. He knew there was a chance this would happen, that Louis would leave, but he has hoped he wouldn't. He hoped that Louis would have been mature enough to discuss it with him. 

But he was wrong, so wrong.


	15. The Right Way

Thirty minutes, that's how long Zayn stared at the seat in front of him, just staring. He couldn't move, his worst fear and come to life again and Zayn was frozen in a state of shock and disbelief. He knew it was likely that Louis would react like this but having it actually happen... it was ten times worse.

After thirty minutes he threw down two fifty notes and walked out the same door of the restaurant Louis had only not as fast or urgent. When he made it to his car and sat inside he rested his head against the steering wheel and took deep breaths trying to calm himself.

It wasn't working though.

 

***

 

After Louis left he cursed himself for not taking his car because now he had to take a taxi. He thought about going to a pub and drowning his thoughts, sorrows and anger in a few pints or a tray full of shots, be he decided against it and just went home.

When Louis walked through the door of his house and in to the living room he was met by Liam sleeping on the couch with Damian and Elijah tracing over his tattoos with pink and blue markers silently giggling.

He stared unsure of what he should do. Should he just go upstairs and leave them be? Or should he go in there and talk to them, talk to his sons? He stood there staring for a while longer before deciding to go with the latter.

"Damian, Elijah?" He whispered trying not to wake Liam although he was upset with him. He knew deep down that Liam had to have known about this. Zayn and Liam talk everyday, there's no way Liam didn't know.

The twins looked over at Louis and quickly climbed over Liam and off the sofa before walking over to Louis who just waved his hand for them to follow and led them to his game room.

Elijah, thinking they were in trouble once they got to the room and Louis still hadn't said anything, looked up at him with wide eyes. "We're sorry we won't color Uncle Lamb again, promise."

"You're not in trouble," Louis quietly laughed and sat on the floor pulling the boys with him so they were each sat in one of his thighs "I have to ask you something, yeah. Do you know who I am?"

Damian and Elijah exchanged a confused look before Damian answered back while Elijah nodded, "You're LouLou, daddy and Uncle Lambs friend." He said like it was the most obviously thing because to him it was"

"Yeah, but there's more." Louis whispered

He stared down at the boys, his boys, and noticed the way Damian's eyes were the same shade of blue as his and they held the same curious look his did when he was younger. He noticed how Elijah looked almost exactly like him when he was a kid except with Zayns almost amber colored eyes. Louis wanted to slap himself for not noticing it sooner when it was right in front of him this whole time. He'd been around the boys constantly for the last month now, how could he not have noticed that Zayns kids were his kids too. How could he have been so stupid?

He didn't realize he zoned out until Damian flicked his nose and Elijah pushed on his stomach making them both giggle.

"Yeah, yeah okay." He paused taking a deep breath "you know you have two daddies right?"

The twins looked at each other raising their eyebrows and nodding at each other before mumbled a confused yes.

This is it, he thought, I'm gonna fucking do it.

"Well, I uh I'm your other dad." he breathed feeling like a weight was being lifted off his chest

Damian being the more outspoken twin was the first to reply "Like Alex was?"

Louis winced, he wondered if the boys called Alex dad if they were bonded to him like they were with Zayn. 

"Alex is not our daddy!" Elijah yelled looking at his twin with furrowed eyebrows

"He was but he's not anymore." Damian yelled back "We weren't the right family for him, daddy said." he whispered crossing his arms over his chest looking up at Louis again 

"Alex wasn't, isn't your dad. He was someone who cared for your dad and was there for you when I couldn't be." Louis pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened his private Facebook scrolling quickly through his multiple albums. "See look" he said turning his phone to face the boys in his lap. 

It was a picture of he and Zayn shortly after the started dating, they were sat at a table in the cafeteria of their school , Louis had an arm loosely thrown over Zayn shoulder while he rested his head on Louis' shoulder. They were laughing at something and Louis honestly couldn't tell you what it was if he wanted to, but the look on their face was pure happiness.

He closed out of that picture and opened another of him at his fifth birthday party, he had on a yellow long-sleeved turtle neck with a pair of overalls on and the classic chili bowl hair cut, and when he looked between the picture on his phone and Elijah it hit him harder, they are his. 

He turned the phone back to the two boys and watched them as they studied the picture, taking the phone from his grasp. Their brows knitted together and their eyes squinted "That's me?" Elijah asked quietly

"No, that's me, you look just like I did when I was little." He smiled and pulled the boys closer to him "and you" he pointed at Damian "you have the same color eyes as I do but you look like Zayn, your dad. You're my kids, I'm your dad, oh God I'm a dad." 

Louis whispered that last part as he tried to stop tears from falling. Just last week he was looking in on the boys after putting them to bed and wishing that they were his, that he and Zayn had a family together and here it is right in front of him. He has a family, he had a family with Zayn this whole time. 

After a while the twins' eyes started drooping so he took them upstairs and laid them on bed. He walked down stairs and out the front door and sat on the steps, thinking. Leaving Zayn the first time was wrong, how could he have been so stupid, so naive, just so... how could he do that to the first person he ever loved, the only person he's ever loved. He thinks, if Zayn had done that to him he wouldn't have made it and that just proves how strong Zayn truly is. Being pregnant, alone. Giving birth, alone. Raising two kids at the same time, alone. 

Louis slightly knows what that's like, when his dad left his mum it was just the two of them for so long. He remembers thinking about his dad and wondering why he wasn't good enough for him to stay or even visit. His dad never called on his birthday, never sent a Christmas card and never came to a school play or to one of his football matches. 

"Fuck!" Louis shouted at his self because he's just like his dad. He left, he never called, he never anything. Granted, he didn't know about them, but now that he does he won't be like his dad. He won't abandon his children, and that's a promise he fully intends to keep.

 

 

Zayn pulled up the long drive-way in front of Louis' house and inwardly groaned once he saw who was sitting on the front steps. He didn't want to talk to Louis, dinner or rather drinks was enough. He didn't want to cry anymore he didn't want to fight anymore he couldn't, he didn't have any energy left for Louis.

He slowly stepped out of his SUV and made his way to the stairs about to walk past Louis when he caught his wrist making him stop on the step just above where Louis was sat.

"Louis>em> please," Zayn whispered "I don't want to, I can't fight with you anymore."

"I don't- I don't want to fight either. I just want to talk, I want to know... _everything_. Everything I've missed from the day you found out you were pregnant til I left you at dinner tonight, which I'm sorry about. I freaked out and I couldn't handle it and fuck Zayn, I'm so fucking sorry. I've walked out on you twice, I can't say sorry enough but I swear I mean it when I say I won't do it again. I just want to be there for my kids and you now. I don't want to be like my dad, please. Just please let me be there for them." 

Zayn sighed and sat on the step next to Louis with a foot of space in between them, just because he was going to talk to him doesn't mean he wants to touch him just yet.

"Did they ever ask for me?" Louis asked 

"A bit after their second birthday they started asking about you. I just said you'd visit if you could but that you were busy and away. That maybe one day you'd come back." Zayn said simply, it was a well rehearsed lie he had become use to reciting

Louis nodded "Okay, tell me everything."

"I don't know where to start, there's so much and I don't know if you'll be able to handle it." he took a breath looking in to Louis' eyes "You're gonna feel like shit."

"I deserve it, I want everything, tell me everything." he nodded frantically.

"Okay, well that day, I went to the doctor and found out I was pregnant which surprised me. I only went because you acted worried and my mum was convinced I was pregnant and I just wanted to prove her wrong. But there I was sitting on the front steps holding all the confirmation in my hand, and I was pissing myself. So, I came home to tell you and talk things over but you know how that went.

"The first four months after you left were torture. I called you almost everyday to try and tell you I was pregnant, I even called your mum once but she didn't answer. I didn't leave my room for months and I lost weight instead of gaining which made my mum and Safaa practically start taking turns force feeding me. I was so wrapped up in my own head I didn't think about how starving myself was hurting them, they didn't even cross my mind. But after a while, when I realized you truly weren't coming back I forced my self up and started working again and just trying to survive.

"Then you broke up with her and I somehow tricked myself into thinking you'd come back but you didn't and after a week or two I slipped back in to my old habits, not eating, not moving and sleeping all day . It was horrible, everyday I woke up in that flat without you killed me." Zayn was crying by this point and Louis moved to wipe his tears but he flinched again and shook his head no, he wasn't ready to be touched yet. He needed to still be angry and get everything out before he cracked and gave in to Louis. 

"So I bought a house and moved out so I could try and forget you. That obviously didn't work but, whatever. After I moved out waking up and actually getting up became easier I decided that I was going to give Damian and Elijah the life they deserved. I worked well in to my eighth month and that's okay because it kept my mind busy. My water broke while I was standing in Donyia's kitchen getting ice cream and I freaked out because somewhere down the line I forgot that was supposed to happen so I thought I was dying. It took the whole drive to the hospital to convince me that I wasn't dying.

"I was in labor for _thirty-six_ hours and it was the worst pain imaginable. It felt like my body was being ripped apart from the inside out but I sucked it up because I refused the epidural. Damian was first and he was beautiful, he passed his new born test, the Apgar, with a perfect score. Then it was Elijah, he didn't want to come out at all, he somehow got his shoulder caught in my birth canal and the doctor had to use all these extra tools and things to get him out and I couldn't stop crying because I'd convinced myself, in the three minutes from the doctor telling me he was stuck to him actually coming out, that it was my fault that I'd done something wrong."

Zayn went on to tell him about Elijah's heart murmur and how he had to stay in hospital two weeks longer so it could be monitored and thankfully it closed on it's own with no need for surgery. He told him about Damian's fits that lasted anywhere from and hour to four hours everyday for the first four months and how he wanted to give up give them to his mum and runaway or give them up for adoption, but he didn't and he never regretted that decision. 

He told him about how when he met Alex it was like a breath of fresh air after drowning for a year. That Alex made him feel like he was living and not just surviving but also that he never stopped thinking about Louis. 

"I gave them your last name, well both of ours I guess. Their names are a mouthful but I wouldn't change them"

"What are they?" Louis mumbled still in shock from all the information he just learned

"Damian William Malik-Tomlinson and Elijah Javadd Malik-Tomlinson"

After that they sat in silence for a while either staring at their hands or out in the garden before Louis finally responded, "I'm so sorry" he started softly but it ended up being a sob "I was an idiot, I was naive and I don't know what to say to get you to forgive me but whatever ever it is I'll say it I'll do it."

Zayn looked over at Louis taking in expression and his words, analyzing everything. The past four years, the past month they've been back in each others lives. 

There was more silence and Louis was convinced he'd fucked it by leaving Zayn at the restaurant, convinced that Zayn wasn't going to give him another chance to prove himself but then Zayn placed and hand on Louis' thigh. He didn't say anything, he didn't look at him, he just nodded then stood and walked in to the house. 

Louis quickly stood and followed him up the stairs and in to the room where the boys were sleeping, "Zayn, what are we doing?"

Zayn went and sat on the bed by Elijah's feet "We're gonna do this the right way, yeah."

He nodded and went to sit on the other side of the bed by Damians feet while Zayn softly woke the sleeping boys. This is it, the beginning of his new life, of their new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [THE END, just kidding. We've got a bit to go :)
> 
> No flashback this chapter, I'm sorry. 
> 
> So, everyone tell me your honest opinion. Do you think Zayn went to easy on Louis? 
> 
> see you soon  
> xA]


	16. Step by Step

_Liam remembers the day Louis introduced him to Zayn. It was the week they sang "Something About the Way You Look Tonight" , they all went backstage after the show where their family members were. Louis had told the lads that none of his family could make it because his sister Lottie had a dance recital that night. Harry and Niall walked in first running straight to their mums, missing the stranger sitting awkwardly in the corner sort of tucked in to himself._

_Liam, like Harry and Niall, ran straight to his mum and sisters being fussed over. He was lost in his family he had forgotten that Louis was alone this week and shook off his sisters and looked around for Louis. When he found him he couldn't stop the smile the spread over his face. In front of him was Louis and a tan boy he'd only seen in pictures on Louis' phone, they were hugging each other tightly and slowly swaying side to side. He stared for a while before he started feeling like a creep and decided to go meet the guy Louis never shut up about._

_"Oh Liam!" Louis smiled noticing his bandmate walking towards he and Zayn "You have to meet him, oh God. Liam this is Zayn my boyfriend, Zayn this is Liam Payne he's in the band with me he's really nice. Wow, he surprised me! My mum called him to say she couldn't come this week so he took the next train to London and he's here. I'm rambling but I can't stop I'm so happy Liam it's been six weeks I missed him." Louis paused to take a much needed breath and turned his attention back to Zayn cupping his face in his hands and peppering his face with kisses whispering 'I miss you's and I love you's' softly earning the attention of the two other boys and their families._

_Liam didn't say it then, he did later when the boys went to America together for the first time, but he thought LouisandZayn had the kind of relationship, the kind of love, people write about. The kind of love people spend their lives looking for but rarely find. He was convinced Louis and Zayn were soulmates._

 

***

 

 

Zayn thoroughly explained to the twins who Louis was, Elijah took it well crawling across the bed and into Louis' lap so he could hug him tightly Damian however, was a bit more stand-offish crawling over to where Zayn was and sat between his knees silently scowling at Louis as he held Elijah tightly.

"What's wrong D?" Zayn whispered noticing his sons change mood change

Damian didn't respond he just crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.

"Damian..." Zayn warned

"Louis will leave too." he muttered in response not as a question but as a statement. He was convinced that since Louis had been gone this whole time he'd just leave again. He didn't want to become close to him like he was with Alex because when Alex left it really hurt him, mainly because he didn't get to say goodbye.

Zayn sighed and pulled the blue eyed boy in to a hug because he understood why he felt that way in all honesty, he felt the same as well.

From the other side of the bed Louis was holding Elijah who had fallen back asleep in his arms and silently watching the scene between Zayn and Damian. It broke his heart because although he hadn't been there for the past three years and eleven months of their lives, he had obviously effected them. His absence hurt them.

He switched Elijah around in his arms so he could scoot over towards Zayn and Damian and hesitantly placed his hand on Damian's shoulder. "Damian, I know I wasn't around but I promise-"

"Lou, please don't promise anything if you don't mean it. It's not fair to them...or me." Zayn whispered staring at the boy in his arms.

"I mean it Zayn, I want this. I want my family, our family. I love you and I love the boys and I promise, Damian, I'm not going anywhere."

 

***

 

They stayed up til three am that night with Louis rattling off questions about the twins to Zayn back to back. He wanted to know everything about them, if they had allergies, what their favorite colors were, what their favorite food was, who spoke first, who walked first and who had his personality traits.

Louis found it amazing how the boys had traits from both of their parents. That Elijah looked like him but was more reserved like Zayn and that Damian looked like Zayn but acted like Louis did when he was younger. 

They went to sleep that night next to each other, but on opposite sides of the bed. Louis expressed to Zayn that he wanted his family to be complete that he wanted he and Zayn to be one again, but Zayn wasn't fully ready to give in to him just yet. No matter how many times Louis promised he was going to change, be there and never leave his family again, Zayn didn't fully trust him. Yet anyways.

 

***

 

The next morning Louis woke up with something weighing him down. He slowly opened his eyes and moved around so he could see what was holding him in place, when he looked to down to his waist he was met with a tan arm wrapped tightly around him littered in tattoos. Louis smiled as he admired Zayns tattoos, he had way more than he had when Louis was around and he wasn't sure how he felt about that, that Zayn had started covering up the beautiful skin Louis used to trace with his fingertips making his heart race and goosebumps raise on Zayns skin. Then again he had more tattoos as well, they each meant something to him while everyone else thought they were pointless tattoos that he'd regret by the time he'd hit 30. 

Louis found himself mindlessly tracing the dove tattoo on Zayn's hand when he got the urge to prove to Zayn that he's a better man, that this is it. He slowly unwrapped Zayn from him and quietly snuck out of the room pulling on a jumper he found on the floor and made his way to the room Damian and Elijah slept in. When he opened the door he smiled when he saw them sitting on opposite sides of the bed not speaking just throwing around a mini football. 

Elijah was the first to notice him and instantly a massive smile broke out on his face as he quickly tried to climb down the bed and ran over to Louis.

"P-pick me up, Lou- uh Dad?" Louis had to fight back tears, it was the first official time he'd been called dad and he's never been happier. He quickly picked him up followed by Damian and they made their way downstairs to the kitchen.

He sat the two boys on the counter and went to work making animal shaped pancakes (per request of his boys) occasionally flicking flour at them earning giggles that made Louis' heart swell.

 

Zayn was woken up by the sound of a pan crashing to the floor followed by laughter which he could easily make out as Louis, Elijah, Damian and Liam. He smiled and quickly ran down the stairs to see what exactly was going on. When he made it to the kitchen he chuckled and leaned against the wall crossing his arms over his chest. Louis and Liam were flicking flour at Elijah and Damian who were trying to dodge it by holding up a cookie sheet in front of their faces laughing hysterically. 

"So, this is what goes on when I'm sleeping?" Zayn laughed walking over to the counter and scooping Damian in his arms spinning him around. "Did you even make any...pancakes?"

 

They spent that morning all five of them, until Liam left to Niall and Harrys flat, laughing and messing around. For Louis and Zayn it felt like the old days when they were LouisandZayn and not Louis, the arsehole who broke his high school sweethearts, heart and Zayn the poor broken lad who couldn't stop crying for months. For Liam it was like the day he met Zayn and he couldn't be happier for them.

After Liam left they put the twins down for a nap and went to the lounge room so they could talk about what they didn't get to last night. 

"What are you gonna tell people?"

"About what?"

"About us obviously." Zayn rolled his eyes 

"That you've forgiven me, we moved on and we're back together. Simple as that." Louis moved to put an arm around Zayn and pull him closer only to have Zayn flinch and move away.

That's not what Zayn meant when he asked that, he meant the interviewers, the fans, management but this was okay, he wanted to know what Louis thought "We're not back together though..." Zayn mumbled looking away from Louis

Louis could feel his heart shatter at his words, "But, I mean I thought we were moving forward." he tried to keep his voice from cracking but failed.

Zayn looked at Louis and felt bad but he knew this is what he had to do. He needed to take things slowly to protect himself and to keep his guard up for the boys.

"We're taking this step by step Louis. Step one was you meeting the boys no matter how unplanned it needed to happen. Step two was last night, telling you about the boys and telling them who you really are."

"Well what's step three Zayn? I've never been good and doing things step by step. I want you, I want the boys I ne-"

"I know!" Zayn was becoming frustrated he needed Louis to get it through his head that things were different, they weren't a 14 and 15 year old sitting in homeroom. Louis trying to get his attention and he trying to ignore the annoying boy with his electric blue eyes. "We're taking it slow that's final Lou."

Louis chewed on his lower lip trying to keep his mouth shut because he didn't want Zayn to retreat back in to himself and end up pushing him away. 

"I understand, but I'm still gonna show you that I care about you."

Zayn didn't respond, he just smiled letting Louis know he heard.

 

 

"C'mon boys let's go pack, we're going home tonight."

Elijah and Damian ran up the stairs excited to be going back to their house so they could finally play with their own toys because yeah Louis spider-man action figures were cool but they wanted batman and the Hulk.

Zayn noticed Louis staring at him half surprised and half saddened "Alex called when you went to the store."

"You talked to him then?" Louis' mind instantly went to his dark place that was telling him that Zayn is leaving to go back to Alex, Alex called and tricked Zayn in to leaving him. He was just starting to get Zayn back, he couldn't lose him again. "You're going back to him?"

Louis' expression was pained, Zayn sighed and walked around the counter to where Louis was putting away the dishes from dinner and pulled him in to a tight hug. 

"No. I mean yeah I talked to him but he only told me that his stuff was out of my house and we could go back now, I'd never go back to him Lou." 

"You're considering coming back to me though..."

"That's different and you know it Louis, don't be stupid."

"I am though."

"You are... but I like it quite a bit actually."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Is this a strange place to stop? It feels like it is but then not really because i think it's cute so. Oh well. How do you all feel about Damian being iffy towards Louis? And do you think there's any surprises waiting for Zayn and the boys when they get home? 
> 
>  
> 
> xA]


	17. Headlines

_On Zayn's fifteenth birthday, Louis gave him his first present. Not just his first present from him but from anyone that day. Louis snuck out his house through his window at half eleven and ran twenty minutes to Zayn's house using a tree to get to his second story window._

_He easily slipped inside, thanks to Zayn liking a cool breeze in his room, tip-toeing to the side of his bed and gently shaking him._

_"Zayn...psst Zayn? Babe, wake up I know you hate it but pleaseee for meee!" Louis whined becoming impatient as his boyfriend of two months still laid in bed like a corpse "Zayn I swear if you don't get up I will slice that leather jacket you love so much!"_

_It seemed as if his threat worked as Zayn started stirring in his sheets and mumbled groggy Shut ups and Fuck off Donyia's before finally sitting up rubbing at his eyes and blinking a few times before finally focusing on his boyfriend sitting next to him._

_"Hi love!"_

_"L-Louis? Wha- what time is it? Why're you here?" sleep still thick in his voice_

_"It issss" Louis trailed off looking at the time on his phone "twelve-oh-two, that means it's your birthday! Zayn's finally fifteen look at you all grown up and being adorable." Louis cooed at his younger boyfriend before pulling a small black velvet box from his pocket_

_Zayn saw it and his eyes immediately popped out of their sockets "I-is that?"_

_"Oh, no! Zayn no it's a... it's not that but open it!" Louis stumbled shoving the small box into his hand. "I had some money from a summer job saved up and I did some extra stuff for my mum at home...I really hope you like it Zayn."_

_Zayn grinned up at Louis and slowly opened the box seeing two silver hoop earrings on top of a navy blue velvet cushion. It wasn't anything fancy it was just simple, classic and Zayn._

_"Lou-"_

_"I know it's not much but I saw them when I went to London during winter break and they made me think of you. How the silver would stand out against your skin... I'm rambling. You probably don't even like them."_

_"Louis would you shut up!" Zayn snapped throwing the hand that wasn't holding the earrings over Louis' mouth "They're simple. I like simple. I love y-" Zayn cut himself off removing the hand from Louis' mouth and covering his own_

_"You what?" Louis asked dumbfounded_

_"I looove the earrings, I said that, yeah." Zayn mumbled trying to cover up what he almost said. It was completely insane to say this early, after only two months. He didn't want to scare Louis off he really did...love him._

_"Zayn, it's alright ya know?" Louis scooted closer to Zayn and placed a hand on his cheek tracing the bone with his thumb "I um, I love you too."_

_Zayn let out a sigh of relief "I love you Louis, fuck, I've been holding that in for a while now...I. Love. You."_

_They stared at each other cerulean meeting amber before Louis' lips pulled up into a smirk and said "Who knew Zayn Malik was a sap..." and lunged forward tackling Zayn to the mattress and peppering his face with kisses._

 

 

When Zayn pulled in to his front drive he turned and smiled at the sleeping boys in the backseat. He went and picked them both up so he wouldn't need to make three trips, one for each boy then luggage, they were getting heavier and he wasn't sure how much longer he could do this. Thinking about that made his heart clench he wanted them to stay small enough so he could just scoop them up and go, he wanted them to stay curious and messy and innocent. If Zayn could carry them around in a baby carrier with him forever, in all honesty, he probably would.

He walked in to the house and was hit with a since of emptiness, everything was the same...yet so different. He quickly took the boys upstairs laid them in bed and headed back to his car. When he came back inside with his luggage the emptiness hit him again. To a stranger it looked like nothing was missing, as if everything was in its place, but Zayn knew. He noticed the three bamboo plants the were placed around his bonsai tree were gone, he noticed the wall sized mirror just in the entrance was gone, he noticed Alex's dozen shoes that were usually scattered around the door were gone. Little things that didn't mean much to him when they were there, meant so much to him now that they were gone. He walked through the hall towards the lounge room and saw the painting of Damian and Elijah Alex had given him for their one year anniversary was gone. It was a painting of a picture he'd taken one day when they were finger painting. Damian pressed his hand, covered in red paint, to the side of Elijahs face. The picture was Damian standing in the background laughing pointing at Elijah who was pouting and reaching out for Zayn to pick him up. 

Zayn rubbed his hands over his face deciding he'd looked at enough and just wanted to go to bed. He walked up the stairs to the far end of the house and stopped in front of his door and stared at the paper taped to it. He recognized the hand writing instantly, he didn't want to read it. If anything he wanted to rip it up and throw it in the trash, forget Alex ever existed.

 _Just forget._

But Zayn was always a curious boy, always looking where people told him not to always wondering off in search of something different. He picked up the letter and sucked in a deep breath as he read the first line,

_'Hey Zayn,_

_I really am sorry. I loved you so much, I wanted this, I wanted us and I wanted this family. Devin, before I ever met you my life revolved around him but he was always someone else's. I chased him, everywhere he went I was there too. Then you came along and I forgot. But then he was everywhere I was, started at my company, became my Secretary, talked his way in to being a part of every business trip, came to every party. He was just there and I'm not blaming him because it was me. I could've stopped it but I didn't because deep down I didn't want to. I'm sorry Zayn I really fucking am. I'm sorry for hurting you for hurting the boys. I'm sorry because even though I knew you couldn't love me the way I wanted you to, the way you love Louis, I wormed my way in to the tiny piece of your heart that wasn't his, I wormed my way in to the hearts of those two boys and now you guys are hurt._

_This letter is getting longer than I wanted it to be so I'm gonna stop now. Go live Zayn. Don't just survive, don't hold back anymore. Maybe we can be friends one day._

_Love always,_

_Alex'_

That was when Zayn cracked, sure he'd cried and moped around in bed for a few days but he hadn't felt. He walked in to his room closing the door behind him and slid down so that his knees were curled in to his chest and his head was buried between them as hot fresh tears rolled down his cheeks soaking his jeans.

He wasn't sure how long he was sat there but when he stood up his knees popped and his back cracked, he walked over to his bed and just stared at it. The sheets were a mess and he was almost certain the pair of light gray boxer briefs next to it weren't his. Instead of laying in his obviously slept in bed he decided to go through his jewelry chest and the closet to see what else Alex took to save him more pain tomorrow. He walked past the floor to ceiling windows until he standing in front of a black box on top of his mahogany chest-of-drawers.

Two onyx rings set in gold, one gold _Versace_ necklace, one white gold _Rolex_ with floating diamonds and one pair of silver hoop earrings.

All gone. 

It wasn't the monetary value that totaled over fifty-thousand quid that hurt Zayn. It wasn't the _Rolex_ , the necklace or even the rings. It was the silver hoop earrings, that hurt him. It hurt that Alex took something so important to him, it was that Alex was malicious enough to do something like that when Zayn did nothing wrong. Alex knew who those earrings were from, Alex knew what they meant to Zayn. The silver earrings Louis gave him for his birthday after only two months of dating. 

Zayn was almost certain he was about to scream when his phone vibrated on the dresser next to him taking him out of his trance. 

Louis: You didn't call when you got home everything okay?

Zayn: no

Louis: What me to come round yours?

Zayn: idk Lou

Louis: g'me your address be there soon.

 

In no time Zayn was opening the front door of his home and instantly being pulled in to Louis' familiar embrace. 

"Zayn c'mon, you're shaking. What's wrong babe?"

Zayn didn't realize he he was crying so hard that his whole body was shuddering.

"C'mon lets go upstairs yeah? We can lay down and you can sleep." Louis suggested but Zayn quickly shook his head no, upstairs- his room was the last place he wanted to be. "Alright, let's go in the lounge."

 

They sat on the sofa for a while Louis staring at Zayn and Zayn staring at his hands. Inviting Louis over was a bad idea, Zayn thought. Crying over his ex-boyfriend to his ex-ex-maybe-soon-to-be-again-boyfriend was not what Zayn wanted to do. But when Louis put a comforting hand on Zayns thigh and gripped it tightly his wall crumbled.

"He took the earrings Lou."

"What earrings?" he responded obviously confused

"The earrings you gave me for my birthday after we started dating, the silver ones."

Louis mouth formed an 'o' shape his eyebrows pulled up "Y-you still have...had those? Wow."

"I kept them in the back of my jewelry chest in the little black box. Alex found them once when he was looking for one of my rings...he knows how important those earrings are to me." Zayn once again started crying feeling even more betrayed than before "Why would he take them? I told him to take his things not take his and pick through my things and leave. He took two rings, a gold Versace necklace, and a Rolex. I didn't do anything to him he cheated on me for nine months Lou nine .... I just don't get why he took the earrings. I don't care about the other stuff but those earrings were special."

"He's a shit person." Louis sighed "He's a shit person and an idiot and karma is going to kick him in his arse." He gently placed his hands on either side of Zayn face making him meet his eyes "He is a fucking idiot so lets just leave it at that. Alex is an idiot and he's out of your life and that's that!"

"He said he hopes we could be friends"

"You talked to him again?" Louis tried to keep his voice steady but his jealousy betrayed him

"What? No, he taped a letter to the door. It was all crap but at the end he said he hoped we could be friends"

"No" Louis waved his right hand dismissing the idea

"I wasn't gonna consider it" Zayn chuckled already feeling better

"I'm just letting you know, no. As for the earrings I could get you another pair a better pair Zayn. Those were thirty quid, you deserve mo-"

"I don't want a new pair those were special, they can't replaced."

Louis took a deep breath before pulling a still heavy breathing Zayn in to his chest "Next time I give you a present it will be just as special, I promise."

They fell asleep like that Zayn cuddled in to Louis' side, it wasn't the most comfortable position for Zayn...physically but it was the most comfortable emotionally. Louis pushed Alex out of his mind and covered the sadness and hurt of his stolen belongings just by holding him. 

***

 

It was four a.m when Zayn's phone started vibrating and dinging incessantly. They were able to sleep through it for a while until it fell on the floor with a loud crashing sound making Zayn jolt from his position. 

"Turn it off." was all Louis mumbled before he rolled over trying to bury his face in to Zayn couch cushion

"It's my Google...my Google alerts."Zayn sighed standing and walked over to the table. He typed in his password and waited for his alerts to load.

_'Zayn Malik plus two?'_

_'Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinsons ex-boyfriend, has kids?'_

_'Whose little boys was Zayn Malik spotted toting around New York City this weekend'_

Zayn gasped and again dropped the phone to the floor again "Nonononononono!"

He was freaking, he'd managed thus far to keep his kids out of the spot light with only a few people knowing about them and them respecting his wishes of them not posting pictures or really mentioning them. 

He quickly picked up the phone and clicked the third link and and tapped his foot impatiently waiting for it to load, he made a mental note to call and upgrade his internet service, when finally the article popped up in his screen. 

The first thing to show was picture of him carrying a half sleep Elijah with a very happy Damian holding his hand and walking beside him with a melting ice cream cone. Elijah's face was tucked in to Zayn's neck but Damian, his face was full on facing the camera. 

The second was an article full of crap speculating that the boys were his cousins or maybe Zayn was watching a friends children. They never connected the dots that the two boys were brothers due to the difference in skin tone or the fact that Zayn was their father because Zayn was able to hide his pregnancy with some skillfully picked outfits until his sixth month then after only sending his assistants out to dress his clients. 

 

Louis stirred on the sofa feeling a cool breeze at his side and blindly reached out for Zayn "Z, where'd you go?" He sat up yawning opening his eyes and instantly focusing on Zayns hunched over body "What's wrong?"

"They know Lou!" Zayn stressed his body becoming tense all over "The press know about my... our boys there's pictures of them all over the internet mainly Damian but they know!"

And for the first time in a while, Louis didn't know how to calm Zayn. He didn't know what to do to make it better to assure him that everything was going to be okay because, well, he was freaking out as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Oh dear, if the press are involved that means soon management will and just ugh, poor Zayn just can't catch a break. Alex, mother effing Alex, I don't even know what to say. So please tell me how you feel, I live for all of your comments!
> 
> Someone messaged me the other day legitimately upset that I made Zayn the 'woman' (their words not mine) in this relationship. -__- I'm sorry but if you don't see Zayn as a nurturer you're mental and I haven't even discussed their love making yet, so you don't know what goes down. Sooo chill, lol. 
> 
> VOTE/FAN/COMMENT
> 
> Love yall!!! 
> 
> xA]


	18. Modest!

_"So raise you're hand if you're available." Natalie a host at the Today Show asked "The girls and some guys are wonder which out of the four they have a chance with."_

_Louis in all honestly wasn't paying attention, it had been six months since Modest! made him and Zayn sign a contract laying out ground rules as to when Zayn could come around, where Zayn was allowed and how they had to act in public._

_They both hated it but at the time Louis wanted One Direction to work to badly and Zayn wanted Louis to live his dream without worrying about what people would think of his "homosexual relationship" as Modest! put it. In the beginning it was tolerable but now it was almost unbearable. They'd go days without seeing each other even though they were in the same city and Louis could tell Zayn was reverting back in to his shell; becoming quiet, shy and nervous again. He didn't want that for him._

_He was so lost in his thoughts he hadn't heard the question so when Natalie asked "Louis, you're off the market now? What lucky lady snagged you?" her smile was so forced Louis was sure her face was about to split._

_He thought about just saying he'd zoned out, he thought about saying 'Oh, just some girl from home' but he couldn't form the words because when he turned to the right, behind Richard and behind Paul was Zayn staring at him with wide eyes. Louis wasn't sure what the look on Zayn's face meant but he knew he was tired of everything tired of lying tired of explaining to people that he and Zayn were just 'best mates'. So he made a decision, never breaking eye contact with Zayn._

_"I'm actually dating Zayn."_

_A collective gasp could be heard through the crowd but Louis only broke eye contact as he felt Liam place his arm on his shoulder giving it a tight squeeze as if telling him he was doing the right thing, looking over at Niall and Harry to see them nodding also confirmed it for him._

_"Zayn Malik? Your best friend from home?" Natalie asked completely confused_

_"He's never been my best mate. I mean he is my best mate but he's never just been my best mate. We've been dating since I was fifteen and he was fourteen. Zayn Malik is my boyfriend."_

_"Are you saying you're gay?"_

_"Bi-sexual, but can we move on the the next question now?"_

_When the interview finished Richard lectured Louis for an hour about 'hurting the brand' and other useless bullshit he didn't care about he needed this, his boyfriend needed this and his band mates/best mates supported him and for Louis that's all the mattered._

 

***

 

After Louis and Zayn both calmed down that night, they both went upstairs stripped down to their boxers and slept together in Zayn's guest room. Louis offered to change the sheets for him but Zayn refused to sleep in that bed ever again saying he'd "rather sleep on the floor than catch whatever disease's Devin has."

***

Louis woke up the next morning to his phone playing a familiar ringtone, a ringtone he had come to despise over the years. He wanted to ignore it but he knew it wouldn't stop, especially after the recent news about Zayn. So he sighed rubbing at his eyes and walked over to the dresser on the other side of the room and swiped his thumb across the screen to answer then walked out the room quietly shutting the door.

"Hello?"

"Louis?"

"Obviously, who is it today, Richard, Brenda, Carl, Zach?"

"This is Zach, you need to come down to Modest! asap we have a few things to discuss with you."

Louis body visibly shifted from slightly agitated to generally pissed off in less than thirty seconds. 

"Pertaining to?"

"Zayn Malik and the children."

"That, Zach, does not concern you in the slightest." he spat bitterly 

"Unfortunately it does Mr. Tomlinson, if it effects One Direction, it concerns us at Modest!. As you know Modest! has always been tolerant of you, Harry and Niall's... choice in sexuality but now it seems that children are involved and unless you want press camped out in front of Mr. Malik's lovely house in Camden I suggest everyone make their way to Modest! in a timely manner. Good day Mr. Tomlinson, see you soon."

Louis' mind switched back and forth between 'fuckfuckfuck' and 'I hate Modest!' as he made his way down the hall and back to the guest room. He walked through the door towards the bed and sat where he was previously sleeping.

"I thought you'd left." Zayn mumbled startling Louis

"You're awake."

"Mmm"

"Sorta anyways." Louis chuckled turning to lay down and face him "Why would I leave though?"

"It's what happens..."

Louis sighed and wrapped his arms around Zayn's middle pulling him closer.

"Shit, sorry Lou. I should be happy you're here, not bringing up you leaving."

"It's fine I get it." He replied a bit harsher than he meant "I actually have to tell you something though."

 

Zayn shifted around so that he was facing Louis with his sleep messed hair, piercing blue eyes, his thin pink lips and high cheek bones. Zayn wasn't even aware he was staring until Louis smirked and leaned forward to place a quick kiss on his lips. 

"Sorry" he blushed

"S'okay, umm Zach from Modest! called and, umm they want us to goto the office to talk about the boys.."

"Us? Why do I have to go for One Direction stu-"

"It's about Damian and Elijah... I guess they've seen the articles. I told him it wasn't their business but they say it can effect the guys ..."

Zayn quickly sat up and shrugged out of Louis' grip already feeling defensive at the mention of his boys. 

"No. Absolutely fucking not!"

"Zayn..."

"No they're gonna try to put restrictions on me and my kids-"

"Our... kids" Louis interjected 

"Sorry, our kids. They're gonna put restrictions on them like they did to me. They're gonna tell me when I can bring them around you and make me sneak through back doors and deny them to see you in general." Zayn paused to catch his breath "I'm not doing it. I'm not gonna deprive my children of their father just to make sure some arsehole with no heart doesn't lose any money."

"Zayn, you don't know it'll be like that. They could just want to hear our side so they know what to say to the press." Louis suggested even though he was sure it wasn't anything like that, that'd be too easy. Modest! never makes anything easy.

 

Zayn scoffed "Bullshit" and rolled out of bed towards the bathroom to shower.

***

 

"Mr. Tomlinson and Mr. Malik how nice of you to join us three hours after my initial phone call" Zach huffed

He was a short man, shorter than Louis, with buzzed brown hair, pale milky skin and deceivingly friendly brown eyes. He, along with Richard, Barbara and Carl, were sat across from Zayn and Louis. Barbara was scribbling on a yellow legal notepad as Richard was talking lowly into her ear. 

"Do you know why we've called you here?" Carl asked shifting Louis' death glare from Zach to him. 

"Because you like to find ways to try and ruin my life?"

Zayn was quick to nudge Louis letting him know not to push it too far.

"We simply try to adjust it so that it goes in the direction that is best for, One Direction. That being said let's get right to business. Are those your children?"

Louis stared at Zayn who stared and him then looked to Carl. Was this a trick question? If they said yes would they instantly ban Zayn and the kids from coming around or maybe would they bring them around more for publicity? Zayn didn't want either of those. he just wanted to keep things the way there were now maybe with a few more trips to the sweet shop for the boys and trips to the park so they could teach the boys to ride bikes and play football.

Zayn was about to answer no and the same time Louis was about to answer yes, only to be cut of by Barbara.

"Now, if it turns out both of those kids are in fact Louis'... we can't have that get out. All four of One Direction are single now an-" Zayn's bark of laughter cut her off causing her to release a quiet, almost, growl "Something funny Mr. Malik?"

"Nope not at all."

"As I was saying, with all four being single One Direction and the four lads names are the top five trending searches on Google and Yahoo! throwing children and a possible relationship in to the mix would jeopardize that. We here at Modest! cannot have that. We'd have to keep you and your children hidden no wondering around the parks on Saturday's like you enjoy doing Mr. Malik" She paused holding up her finger stopping Zayn who was about to interrupt "We just know, don't ask. Just know, we will do what's most beneficial for the band."

"Why would it be so bad for me to have kids? I'm almost twenty-six!"

 

"It would hurt that band Mr. Tomlinson. We were hired by Simon and SYCO to protect the band, end of discussion." Carl clipped

 

To say Louis was fuming was an understatement, he had just learned he had children and all he wanted to do what shout it at the top of his lungs and post as many pictures as he could but Modest! was trying to control him just like they attempted to do when One Direction first started. Only allowing Zayn in through back doors, never letting him sit out in the crowd at concerts, never letting them even be in the same room if a camera was around. He wasn't gonna do that with his own kids, it almost ruined he and Zayn's relationship before he snapped and talked about him during a live Today Show interview. Modest! was furious with him that day but when Zayn greeted him outside with a massive hug and a snog, he decided it was worth it. 

Louis took out his phone ignoring Richard and the almost hateful words he was spitting causing Zayn to tense at his side. Louis opened his Twitter account and clicked the tab to compose a tweet hitting the photo icon and scrolling through his camera roll. There must've been dozens of photos of Damian and Elijah playing, sleeping or just lounging around his house, he almost chose one of Damian sitting on the sofa with Elijah resting his head on his lap when the picture above it caught his eye.

It was a picture of Harry Liam and Niall sitting on his oversized L-shaped sofa talking and laughing about something, Zayn was sitting on the floor in front of them carding his fingers through Elijah's hair as he was sleeping on one leg while he helped Damian build a tower out of Lego's with his other hand. 

 

@Louis_Tomlinson: My Family. The lads with Zayn and our sons, yeah I'm a dad.

 

Louis slid his phone back in to his pocket with a smirk and grabbed Zayn's hand placing it in his lap trying to calm him down a bit and enjoy that madness that was about to ensue.

Zayn watched as Richard excused himself outside to take a phone call, Louis smirked and removed his hand from Zayn and crossed them on top of the table with his smirk still plastered on his face. Zayn looked over at Louis and right away knew he'd done something most likely stupid.

He leaned over and whispered "Spill. What'd you do?"

To which Louis just shrugged and massively grinned when Richard came back in the room slamming the door behind him.

"Louis!" he boomed "We just said no to the kids!"

"Technically though, Richard, you didn't. You merely suggested and well...no."

"Louis, do you understand what you've done? The fans could react negatively to this which means the brand will suffer meaning less money and-

 

"No body cares about that though Richard. Liam, Niall and Harry are all fine with me having kids, they love them actually."

Richard sighed and leaned back sharing whispers with Carl, Zach and Barbara.

Zayn watched as his life was basically being decided for him and it almost makes him regret taking the music video job. Making him almost regret allowing Louis back in to his life because everything was changing. Yes Zayn had a job in the spot light but more behind the scenes, everyone knew who he was but he could still walk down the street without being tackled to the floor, without people screaming and shoving cameras in his face. Zayn had a quiet but hectic life, doing this with Louis would be loud and hectic and it was starting to weigh on Zayn. 

Louis noticed Zayn shying away from him and reached over pulling his chair closer to him and rested his head on his shoulder whispering quietly in his ear.

"I love you Zayn, you know that right?" Zayn mumbled back a quiet 'yes' slightly relaxing. "And that I'd never let anything happen to you or our kids right? I'll do anything and everything I can to keep you safe, okay? So stop worrying you know how you get when you worry."

Zayn huffed a breath realizing he'd in fact been worrying and getting lost in his head like he always does. He went to tell Louis he knew deep down, even though he was freaking out, that Louis would protect them always but was -of course- cut off. 

"Fine. Louis since you can't listen and realize we're doing what's best, have it your way. You're free to go." Richard said coolly and leaned back in his chair Zach, Carl and Barbara all nodding with their hands folded on the table "You know where to find us when shit hits the fan and trust me Louis, it will." he tried hard to control his smirk but in the end couldn't making Louis snatch Zayn's hand and pull him out of the room before he said or did something that would only make the situation worse.

***

"That went surprisingly easy..." Zayn spoke after a few minutes of silence.

They were sitting in front of Louis' house, he was dropping him off before going to his sister's to pick up the twins.

Louis was staring out the window when Zayn's voice made him snap his head towards him "Huh what?"

Zayn furrowed his eyebrows leaning across the car and taking Louis' hands in his "You're nervous. What's wrong?"

"What if it was so easy because it was a big fucking mistake? Maybe I should've listened to them and kept the boys and you a secret."

"How'd that work out last time?"

"I lost it... on live t.v" he ran his fingers through his hair brushing his fringe out of his eyes to look at Zayn through his eyelashes

"It's gonna be hard, we knew it would be whenever we did tell everyone just now it's happened a lot earlier."

"You don't think I made a mistake posting that picture?"

Zayn sighed running his fingers through the hair on the back of his neck "I mean, I would've like to have had some input but I probably would've told you yes anyways. I don't want to have the boys go through what I went through not being able to see you when I wanted to."

Louis nodded smiling as he turned to look at Zayn again "No matter how hectic it gets, we're good yeah?"

"Always"

 

And boy was it about to get hectic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyways, what are some things you think are going to happen now that the world knows about Damian and Elijah?
> 
> xA


	19. Daddy's got a boyfriend?

Louis was running around his house stripping of his clothes switching outfits trying to find something perfect to wear. He called the zoo and had them close it for a few hours so he could walk around with Zayn and the boys in peace for a while and enjoy everything. Louis wanted something that would make Zayn notice him but also something practical so he wouldn't call him a twat. 

Louis had just zipped up a pair of jean shorts and was rummaging through his drawers for a shirt when his phone went off and it only took him a second to recognize that horrid ringtone. _Modest!_

 

"What?" He snapped, sure they were going to fine some way to ruin his day with Zayn and their kids.

"Ah, Mr. Tomlinson, this is Barbara and I was just calling to inform you that instead of the tour rehearsals being located here in London we've decided to hold them in Columbia. We've already notified the others and it's all set. No friends, family or significant others, this time is purely for rehearsal this tour is a big deal and we need to make sure it is quite literally perfect." She spoke in a tone so smug it was making Louis' body heat rise. 

"When do-"

"You leave tomorrow at 11am Mr. Tomlison. Enjoy your day at the Zoo, we've heard you rented it out for a few hours. I hope the press don't find out." and before he could respond she hung up the phone with a final click.

 

He contemplated calling and telling him right away but he knew that it'd weigh on Zayn all day and Louis didn't want that. He wanted Zayn and the boys to enjoy the day. Their last day most likely until One Direction comes back to the UK/Europe, in two months.

So that's why he's standing at the bottom of Zayn's stairs watching as Damian and Elijah slowly and carefully make their way down the stairs and into his open arms. 

"Hey loves, are you ready to go see some animals?" he grinned 

"Do we get to see the Lions?" Damian yelled as he pulled out of the hug and ran to the side to grab his black converse 

"We can see anything you want D. What about you Jah what do you wanna see?"

Elijah pulled his face buried in the side of Louis' hip back to look up at him "Can we see the sloths?" he mumbled shyly

"Out of all the animals you want to see sloths? Not the tigers or the bears but sloths?"

He nodded joining Damian putting on his shoes just as Zayn came around the corner with a backpack full of their things: juice, sunscreen, an extra shirt and a second pair of shoes in case the ones they were wearing started to hurt their feet.

"Are you making fun of my baby?" he cooed dropping to the floor to tie their shoes "Elijah likes sloths because they're nice right babe?"

He grinned and hugged Zayn tightly mumbling words Louis couldn't understand looking on as Zayn just nodded and continued getting the boys ready. Louis wanted to help but he didn't know the routine, as soon as Zayn tied Damian's shoes he sent him to grab his jacket and Elijah walked up next then followed right after Damian to get his jacket as well then walked back to Zayn as he helped the boys in them and sent them back to Louis who was standing by the door awestruck. 

"You're like a machine." He mumbled to no one in particular but Zayn heard anyway.

"Four years of practice Lou, you'll catch on eventually." he smiled and kissed his cheek grabbing Damian's hand and heading out the door.

 

***

 

Everything was going well they had seen the lions and tigers, the monkeys and the sloths, making both boys very happy. Louis couldn't help but smile as he watched his sons grab at each other and point at the passing animals excitedly while he and Zayn walked behind them holding hands. 

"You know Lou," Zayn spoke softly breaking the comfortable silence between them "this really has been a great day. The boys loved it, I loved it just... thank you."

Louis hummed in response happy that for once everything was going well. There hadn't been any backlash from his Twitter confession, management hadn't- oh right. Louis smile faded as he remembered what he had to tell Zayn and the boys. But for now he was going to let them have this day. 

"Daddydadydaddy!" Elijah screeched tugging at Louis' shorts "I wanna pet the lima's!"

"Lima's?" He repeated then turned to Zayn an whispered "The fucks a Lima?"

Zayn just shook his head and laughed grabbing Elijah's hand and walked towards the petting Zoo to feed the Llama's

 

***

 

"Spill it." Zayn said furrowing his eyebrows as he looked at Louis

He had sent to boys to their play room when they got home so he could have a chance to talk to Lou. He noticed at the Zoo that when he'd smile after a while it faded into a frown. 

"Something's bothering you, what is it?"

Louis watched as Zayn walked over to his fridge and picked up two bottles of beer for them. He thanked Zayn and quickly drank half of it further confirming to Zayn that something was wrong.

"Barbara called me this morning." he mumbled avoiding eye contact "Rehearsals have been moved to Columbia, no friends, no family, no significant others and we leave tomorrow. At eleven a.m."

Each word Louis spoke Zayn's grip got tighter on his beer bottle and his breath became shallow. 

"Columbia? Tomorrow? For how long?"

"Yeah, and until tour starts. So that means we won't be come back until we start our UK and Europe dates."

Zayn stared wide eyed at him as he processed each word he spoke.

"Lou." he winced "Do you know what that means?"

He thought about it for a moment trying to process if he missed anything "It means I'll be away from you." he said as he stood up from his bar stool and made his way to Zayn grabbing his free in his and pressing it to his stomach as he grazed his fingers over his knuckles. "The boys, my family."

Zayn couldn't blame him for only being half right, he hadn't been around that long so it was normal. He took a deep breath before looking up from their hands and meeting Louis' cerulean blue eyes "The twin's birthday is in two weeks, you're gonna miss it. They're not gonna understand why you can't come home from work and see them. They're not gonna get why their dad can't be at their birthday party."

Tears welled up in his eyes as he listened to the desperation in Zayn's voice. His heart clinched and literally hurt, if Zayn was reacting this way he didn't even want to imagine how Damian an Elijah would act.

"Are you even gonna say anything?"

"I-I'll call everyday and Skype when I can and the next two months will be over with before you know it. When November comes you and the boys can come with us and I'll make up for the time I've missed."

"They've been warming up to you even Damian. Elijah calls you daddy and Damian, I heard him calling you dad when he was talking to Elijah. They're gonna be gutted! It's not just you missing that's gonna hurt them, Liam's been to every birthday since he found out about them and then Niall and Harry. So many of their favorite people aren't gonna be there."

"I know, God I know." He sighed dropping Zayn's hand to run his fingers through his hair and when Zayn took a step back he quickly reached forward and pulled him in to a hug resting Zayn's face on his shoulder and nuzzling his face in his soft black hair. "We knew Modest! would eventually do something to keep us apart. First they figured all the extra attention from the press would make you hide out but it didn't so they're doing the next best thing and shipping me away. But I promise Zayn, I'm gonna do whatever I can to make the time away not seem like I'm so far."

"I'm gonna miss you so much Louis. I've gotten so use to having you here and tomorrow you're just gonna be...gone. My life's gonna go back to what it was before just me and the boys." Zayn tried to keep his voice steady to not make it so obvious that his heart was breaking just a little bit. 

"It's not like I'm leaving forever babe." Louis whispered with his lips softly pressed against Zayn's forehead. "I'm coming back" he took a step forward pressing Zayn against the counter behind him "for you," he kissed his left cheek "for the boys" his right cheek "I'm coming back for my family." he stated firmly and leaned forward and going in to kiss Zayn on his lips. The lips he's missed so much, the full lips a perfect shade of pink and soft to the touch.

Zayn was okay with the kisses on the his cheeks but just as Louis went in for his lips he quickly turned away causing Louis' lips to connect with is left cheek again. His eyes were squeezed shut tight and as he felt Louis start to pull away he wrapped his arms around him and held him close. He wasn't ready for a kiss, not just yet, but he didn't want Louis' body to leave his just yet. 

Louis and Zayn stayed like that, locked in each others embrace, taking in each others smell, heat, the fell of each others skin. Just taking in the essence of each other. 

They're not really sure how long they had been standing like that, basically melting into each other, when there was a sound of quiet giggles behind them. Zayn reluctantly pulled away first and looked to his side and was met with the smiling faces of his children.

"Look D, daddy's got a boyfriend."

Zayn laughed and kneeled on the floor pulling Louis down with him and opening his arms for the boys. As usual Damian went to Zayn and Elijah went to Louis.

"S'true dad? Louis' your boyfriend?" Damian asked poking him on his nose

Louis wanted to slap his hand over Zayn's mouth and scream yes but he just watched "Umm, no, well not yet anyways."

"Do you love my daddy?" Damian asked Louis eyeing him carefully 

And without even hesitating he said "Yes, always have."

"Daddy," Elijah spoke up again "you said boyfriends was... when two people are in love" he smiled looking at Louis "I know my daddy loves you. He has a picture of you in-"

"That's enough of that!" Zayn smiled awkwardly standing and setting Damian down on the counter "Let's make dinner then Louis and I have something to tell you both, alright?"

He turned back to see Louis nervously chewing on his bottom lip and his eyes scanning the kitchen.

"Hey," he whispered turning his back on the boys for a second to caress his cheek tracing his cheek bone with his thumb "It'll be alright, we'll make them understand." he smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek turning back to the boys and going back in to daddy mode only this time, he pulled Louis with him to help.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Louis is leaving to lovely Columbia and Zayn is staying in London. So many things can happen... will happen. This was the calm before the storm, so let us pray. lol 
> 
> xA]


	20. The Past Never Leaves

The day Louis left, everyone was an emotional wreck. Louis kept a brave face for Zayn, keeping calm and collected while saying bye to all of his boys, only to break down as he pulled away from Zayn's house.

The night before however, Damian being the least attached to Louis, no one expected him to react the way he did, as soon as Zayn told him that Louis was going to be gone for two months, he broke down crying and quickly climbed out of his chair and on to the dinner table and rushed across to hug him. Elijah on the other hand, instantly dropped his gaze to his hands and started picking at the skin by his fingers nervously chewing on his lip.

 

Zayn had been able to hold it together the morning Louis left. He smiled at the arsehole reporters, he kissed Louis softly on his cheek and he held the boys tightly as they called out to their dad who smiled sadly before waving one last time before getting in to the blacked out van. Zayn held it together when the twins kept asking questions about when Louis was coming home, held it together when Elijah quietly complained when he cut his sandwhich in to squares and not triangles like Louis and held it together as he tucked his sad sleepy children in to bed that night.

 

He couldn't hold it together though when he climbed in to his California king sized bed and realized that for the first time in a while he was truly alone, that no one was going to walk in later and curl up in bed beside him, that he was going to wake up alone. Louis hadn't been living with him but he'd gotten used to just going over to his house or meeting him and all the other lads somewhere. Alone wasn't something that suited Zayn very well.

The longer he laid in bed the more began regret not accepting Louis' 'offer' of being his boyfriend. Being his boyfriend would have been a solid commitment meaning even if Louis was tempted he most likely wouldn't cheat...that hadn't stopped him before though. But just 'being' or whatever they are now, Louis is free to do whatever he wants. What if he goes out and finds some fit South American? Louis isn't tied down, he doesn't have to answer to Zayn or even really consider him if he wants to...fuck someone. 

Needless to say falling asleep that night was a difficult task for Zayn.

***

As soon as Louis and the rest of One Direction left England, the press went nuts. They started following Zayn everywhere he went, the store, his office, to his clients houses, to visit his family and even took to following whoever was watching Damian and Elijah when he wasn't with them. 

It was becoming too much for Zayn, he was constantly looking over his shoulder trying to avoid the camera. He was getting tired of spending ten minutes honking his horn and inching down his front drive and with the twins birthday party being today, he wanted everyone to just go away. 

He was setting trays of food out on the table and making sure that the people from the petting zoo kept the animals in their cages when his doorbell rang. Instantly he heard two sets of feet stomping their way down the stairs.

"Nan's here! Daddy! Nan is here!" Damian yelled as he ran to the door and began jumping trying to reach the top lock. 

Zayn hadn't seen his mum since he left for the promo tour, it wasn't that he was ignoring her persay, he just really didn't want to have the talk he knew they were definitely going to have today. When he finally made it to the front door he saw his mum and sisters all pulling the newly four year old boys in different directions.

"It'd be much appreciated if you didn't rip off my kids arms today." he chuckled crossing his arms over his chest.

"Bro! It was hell getting in here, what are they even trying to get pictures of?" Donyia sighed kissing Damians cheek making him groan and try to push her away

"When you find out let me know so I can give it to them. I just want my front drive and garden back."

"You!" Wahliya shouted obviously changing the topic "You have some explaining to do, I take it things are going well with...Louis?" her voice came out harsh and by the way she eyed him, Zayn knew she meant it. 

"Liya!" his mum scolded "You and the girls take the boys to the back to play and leave your brother alone. He's a grown man he can do as he pleases." 

 

"So Zayn, I won't bombard you with question you don't want to answer, but is he treating you well?" 

"Yeah mum," Zayn sighed with a slight smile on his face "he really is. He's different now I can tell." 

"And the boys, how'd they respond?" 

"Elijah from the beginning had a bond with him and at first I hated it but I've gotten over it, he adores him. Damian is more reserved when it comes to Lou, he keeps his distance but when we told him Louis was leaving he completely broke down." He frowned and ran his fingers down his face "They're both so attached to him and it's only been what two months? Maybe, since they met him and only about three weeks since they found out he's their dad. It's scary because it could all go wrong again, you know?"

She gave him a small smile "It's normal to be scared Zayn, you're taking a risk doing this with him again. Your hearts on the line, the kids are involved and the world knows." 

Zayn was about to ask her what she was getting at because if anything she was making him even more nervous but she took his hands in hers and started speaking again before he could even open his mouth. 

"If you are not willing to take the risk, you'll have to settle for the ordinary. Zayn, the ordinary was being with a man you never truly loved who in turn didn't truly love you. I don't want that for you baby. Take the risk Zayn, stop being so afraid." and just like that she turned to walked down the hall to join the others.

"Oh Zayn," she called over her shoulder "there's a few people outside still don't lock the door they'll be in shortly."

Zayn looked at her confused because he could have sworn everyone was here.

"Don't frown love, c'mon let's go see our babies."

***

Zayn had almost forgotten his mum said other people were coming inside until twenty minutes later he heard his alarm chime and a door lock but he didn't turn around to see who, he just kept adjusting Elijahs bow tie he insisted on wearing. 

He smacked his bum sending him off to join the others when he heard a gasp behind him. Slowly he turned and was met with three pairs of eyes he hadn't seen in years.

"Oh my God!" he gasped with wide eyes

"Zayn!" one of them screamed at ran towards him wrapping their arms around his waist and squeezing tightly.

He tensed at first, it had been so long since he'd seen them but it immediately felt like he was meant to be there, and relaxed. The other two came up to him and wrapped their arms around him as well.

"We've missed you so much Zayn, so so much!" Felicite said excitedly

Zayn let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, "Oh Fiz" he squeezed her tighter "I've missed all of you, everyday." 

"We've all missed you Zayn." Lottie smiled from the side

Zayn stood there and catching up with the two girls floored that Fiz was now eighteen, Lottie was twenty and they were both in Uni. He'd forgotten about the third person until he looked over at her, Jay, and saw tears slowly falling down her cheeks.

He sent the girls in to the other room to hang out with his mum and sisters so he could have a moment alone with Jay. He took a tentative stop towards her stopping when she opened her mouth to speak.

"I should have known, I'm meant to know these things. How couldn't I have noticed?" she sighed reaching to wipe away more tears 

"I hid it well, Jay it's not your fault. The only people who knew were my family." Zayn said trying to get her to stop putting the blame on her

"But I was your family Zayn, I loved and still do love you like you're my very own." She paused looking him over and glancing to the other room filled with screaming kids looking at different kinds of animals "I told my son he was a twit for doing what he did and so... rudely? I don't even know if that's the right word. My son treated you so like shit." with each word she spoke he could tell she was getting worked up, that seeing him had bought up past memories from a time they'd both frankly, like to forget.

"Jay, it's in the past yeah? Louis and I have worked and are still working on moving past it and starting over. He's apologized and shown me that he's sorry." Zayn pulled her in to him and hugged her tightly both swaying back and forth silently just comfortable in each others embrace.

After a few moments of silence they were interupted by someone clearing their throat behind them.

"Jay, I'm glad you got my voice mail about coming today." Tricia smiled "It's about time you met your grandchildren and I knew my son here would forget to invite you. Now, " She grinned excitedly bouncing on the balls of her feet staring and Louis' mum "there are two very excited little boys in the other room loving their aunts but dying to meet their second grandmum." 

 

When the three of them stepped through the door Elijah and Damian ran up to Zayn and started babbling about the animals, Fizzy and Lottie and how his mum told them about a second grandmum which excited them because that meant another place to do grandmum stuff. 

They were on to their third question about her when Zayn lightly placed his hands over their mouths, "One, no more candy, you still need to eat and then there's ice cream and cake. Two, your grandmum is the lovely lady standing right next to your Nan. Do you want to go say hi?" 

He gauged their reactions for a moment, they'd both grown nervous but none the less nodded yes and walked over to the two women standing behind Zayn.

Jay kneeled down and slowly reached her right hand out and grazed her thumb over Elijah's cheeks. Her jaw went slack her mouth making an 'o' shape and her eyes wide "He's... wow, he looks exactly like Louis did at this age. And this one, " she paused reaching with her left hand over to Damian and softly ran her fingers through his hair, only making him scowl a little bit, "looks just like you, even his hair. I'm Jay." He smile was so massive the twin boys in front of her were sure she was going to crack her face. "I"m your other grandmum."

The twins examined her with wide curious eyes taking in everything about her, her kind eyes, he sweet smile, the softness of her hands on their cheeks. They looked over at their Nan, Zayn's mum, and when she nodded they quickly walked forward to hug her wrapping their small arms around her neck.

She hummed in appreciation and squeezed them tightly. After a while, Damian poked his head up and looked at his dad silently asking how long he had to hug her, he wanted to get back to the looking at the Millipedes. 

"Boys how about you take your grandmum and show her some of the animals while I get the food ready, yeah?"

As Elijah and Damian pulled her away holding her hands she turned around, eyes glossy with tears, and mouth a simple 'Thank you.' to Zayn and smiled. That was all Zayn needed to know that everything was gonna be okay.

 

***

Zayn had just finished serving the cake and ice cream when the doorbell rang. He looked around to see if maybe someone had stepped outside and gotten locked out but everyone was there scattered around his living room and dinning room. He was going to ignore it but then it rang again.

He quickly made his way to the door not wanting to miss anything that happened with his kids on their fourth birthday. Right when Zayn as about to open the door the doorbell rang again slightly pissing Zayn off as he reached for the handle.

"What fuck i-" he words were cut off when he opened the door and met a pair of blue gray eyes he never planned on seeing again. "Alex?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [He's baaaaaaack. dun dunn dunnnn. What do you think Alex wants? Will Louis find out? What if Damian and Elijah see him? 
> 
> Comments are most appreciated.
> 
> xA]


	21. I Need to See Them

*One Day Later*

 

Louis was sitting in his hotel room with Liam watching football highlights when Niall and Harry burst in obviously anxious but desperately trying, and failing, to hide it. 

"Guys?" Liam said cautiously, raising an eyebrow, making it come of like a question "What's wrong?"

"Wrong?" Niall asked looking at Harry who shrugged and said "Wrong, nothings wrong, nope nothing."

"Bullshit." Louis laughed sitting up on his bed so he was leaning against the head board "So, what is it?"

'Okay...so like Niall and I were like watching t.v. you know? And well a commercial came on and it was in Spanish but Niall understood some of it and he told me and umm..."

Liam sighed throwing a pillow from the couch at Harry "Niall can you please tell us what Harry is failing at?"

"The news said Zayn and Alex were fighting in front of his house. So we looked online to figure out what the fuck they were talking about and well, here I'll show you." Niall nervously chewed on his lip as he pulled his phone out of his back pocket and walked over to sit by Louis on bed with Harry and Liam joining them.

He pulled up dailymail.co.uk clicked on a video and took a deep breath before handing the phone over to Louis for him and Liam to see. 

***

Zayn stood in shock with his mouth slightly open looking at the man, his ex-boyfriend, in front of him.

He smiled awkwardly running his fingers through the hair on the back of his neck, "Hi Zayn, I was- you look good?"

Zayn rolled his eyes and began to slam the door in his face but Alex was quicker and shoved his foot in the way before he could shut it.

"Listen, I just wanna talk. I know you got my letter, I thought you would have called or something."

"To talk about what?" he whisper shouted stepping out of his house and closing the door behind him so he could speak freely "Talk about how your letter was bullshit? Talk about how we're most definitely not going to be friends or talk about how vile of a person you must be to steal things that mean so much to me. Is that what you wanted to talk about Alex because that's about all I have to say to you."

***

After a full minute of nothing Louis paused the video looking over to Niall "Not to burst your bubble or anything but what's so bad about this video? You can barely hear anything anyways?"

"Just keep watching, they haven't started yelling yet."

Louis tensed, what the hell did Alex do to Zayn, was all that was going through his mind. He quickly pressed play and concentrated on their words.

***

"I know you're mad." he murmured dropping his gaze to the floor

"Mad? I'm livid Alex. I want nothing more than to punch you square in your jaw but my kids, family and friends are inside and I don't need a scene."

"I have it all if you want it, the jewelry. I just took it because even if you didn't want to call for the letter you'd call for that. Especially the earrings." he admitted

"You shouldn't have taken those, I might have called eventually and tried to be friends but doing that... that was vicious. You know those are important to me Alex." his tone was stern as he glared at Alex looking right in to his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For everything really, lying, cheating, stealing your stuff." He murmured taking a step closer to Zayn never breaking eye contact. "You really do look good Z."

Zayn's breath caught as Alex reached a hand up and ran his thumb over his cheek bone. 

"I miss you."

***

Louis paused the video he's breathing accelerated and words failing him.

"Look guys if Zayn's about to kiss him can't you just tell him so he doesn't have to watch it happen?"

"Just watch!" Niall and Harry yelled in unison.

***

He un-knowingly leaned in to his touch as if to savour it for a moment before scoffing and stepping back "No you don't, just give me my things and go away. Honestly you can keep everything but give me my fucking earrings back." He was becoming agitated missing bits of Damian and Elijah's birthday to talk to someone he doesn't care for anymore. 

"Shouldn't you be happy I cheated on you? Look you got your perfect little family like you always wanted." he snapped but instantly regretted it "No wait I didn't mean-"

"Sod off Alex, I'm going back inside to my family. Get off my property." He turned to walk back in to his house

"You can't keep me away from my children Zayn! Those are my kids not his, why are you being like this?"

"What the fuck are you actually talking about?"

"My. Kids. Damian and Elijah are my kids and you keeping them away from me and trying to pawn the off on Louis is wrong. Is it because he has more money than me? "

***

Louis and Liams' mouths dropped open with their eyes wide as they stared at Harry and Niall in shock.

"B-but Alex and Zayn didn't even know each other until two years ago that's impossible..." Louis trailed off rubbing his hands over his face trying to gather his thoughts

***

"What? I didn't even know you four years ago Alex. Whatever you're trying to pull isn't working!" Zayn shouted finally fed up with Alex ruining this day

As Zayn turned to walk back in to his house Alex caught his arm and pulled him back spinning him around and forcing his body to collide with his. 

Zayn stared wide eyed and frankly, terrified. Alex had never handled him like that before, he was usually happy and gentle but this, this wasn't the Alex Zayn knew. 

"Let me say bye to my fucking kids and I'll leave you alone and give you everything back!" Alex seethed through clenched teeth his face turning red with frustration

He considered it, letting him see Elijah and Damian just for a minute if that meant leaving them alone. But he couldn't do that, Damian had been close to Alex and letting him see him for just a moment would refresh memories Zayn was hopping he had forgotten. 

He shoved Alex away making him stumble back, his fist clenching and un-clenching at his sides "Get the fuck of off my property before I call the cops on you and don't tempt me I will press charges on you. You made your choice when you stuck your d!ck where it doesn't belong, you made that choice not me! Don't come to my house and threaten me with things that aren't even remotely true. Give me my stuff or leave!" Zayns chest was rapidly rising and falling, the veins in his neck were sticking out and his fist were clenched so hard his knuckles were turning white.

For a moment fear showed in Alex's eyes but it quickly vanished only to be replaced with a cold glare. 

"Fine, you want your shit here!" He dug in his pockets and held Zayns Rolex in his hand twirling it on his index finger before smashing it on the brick stairs cracking its' face. He repeated this process with everything until he got to the black box which held the earrings. 

Zayn watched horrified as Alex opened the box, removed the earrings and blew on them before turning to the right and throwing them in to the bush's that lined Zayns front yard.

That's when Zayn snapped before he realized what he was doing his fist connected with Alexs' jaw and julted him to the side. When Alex regained his composure, it was a full blown fight, he tackled Zayn knocking him back against the front door. They were shouting expletives at each other punch after punch shove after shove.

The door behind them suddenly opened and Zayns' friends from Bradford Ant and Danny ran out to pull them apart. 

***

Zayn was opening his mouth to speak again when the video cut off. The room was silent, Niall and Harry watching Liam and Louis' reaction, while Louis and Liam were trying to just find something to say.

Louis stood up and starting searching the room for this phone muttering under his breath "Why didn't Zayn tell me anything? I'm gonna fucking kill Alex when I see him!" and other not so 'pc' things. When he finally found his phone he quickly dialed the familiar number and glared at the other three boys in the room.

"Leave." he stated flatly

As soon as they left an obviously sleeping Zayn answered with a muffled "Hello?"

He face-palmed before speaking "Shit it's like four in the morning, sorry."

He heard the click of the light and the sound of sheets ruffling before Zayn finally responded "Lou? Wha- yeah it's... 3:42. What's wrong?"

"Why didn't you tell me what that prick did to you?"

"It's not important I didn't want to upset you... everything's fine." Zayn sighed rubbing sleep from his eyes

"Nothing happened? He hit you!"

"I hit him first." he replied lamely 

"Are you okay?" Louis asked genuinely concerned because in the video Alex had gotten a few good hits in.

"I'm fine Lou, if something was really wrong I would've called you. I've only got a black eye and a bit of a split lip m'fine."

"Babe-"

Zayn cut him off not wanting him to freak out over things that didn't even hurt anymore "I'm fine Louis I promise, I told the boys I tripped on one of the shoes by the front door. They're fine, we're fine, we miss you though." he admitted hoping it would distract him

It did.

"Thirty-four more days" Louis whispered closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of the nose "I know what you're doing and I'll let you have it this time." He smiled sadly

"Lou, I don't want to go but I have to meet a client at eight tomorrow."

"Tour starts two weeks from tomorrow."

"Yes Lou I know, the boys and I are keeping count. I really need to sleep Lou and you should be resting not stressing about me." Zayn smiled fondly thinking about how his time away from Louis was halfway over and he'd finally be able to hug him and tell him that he wants more.

"I care about you that's why I stress but fine, I'll let you sleep, I'll see you soon." 

"Skype?" Zayn asked half confused as to what Louis meant but mostly falling asleep again

"Mmhmm, goto sleep Zayn I'll call you and the boys soon. I love you." 

"I love you too Lou, can't wait till you get back." and just like that Zayn was asleep soft breaths of air were the only thing Louis heard through the speaker of the phone. 

He laid on his bed for a while picture Zayn sleeping beside him, maybe with Damian and Elijah snuggled somewhere between them, or just the two of them Zayn pressed against his body with his arms wrapped around his waist.

Louis wasn't sure how long he laid there, an hour? Maybe two, when he heard what sounded like Zayns' bedroom door open and hit the wall beside it.

"Shh Jah, you're gonna wake daddy!" Damian scolded even though Louis knew he was probably the one who opened it

"D, I just wanna sleep m'tired why are we in here?"

"We miss dad, daddy misses dad so we should cuddle it better." Damian whispered back,

Hearing Damian say that everyone missed him made his heart clench. He quickly hung up the phone and ran over to his door to peek his head out. 

He ran back in his room and grabbed his duffle bag filling it with a few random pairs of shorts shirts and sweaters before grabbing his backpack and stuffing his laptop in it. He stuck his head out the door again and when he saw it was still clear he made a run for it and took a left towards the stairs.

He needed to go home to see his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Mhmm mmhmmm mmhmmm, what are you thoughts about what happened between Zayn and Alex? Any guesses as to what made him snap? Do you think that's the last of him? What do you think will happen when or if Louis gets home? 
> 
> This chapters been done for like three days but i couldn't decide if I liked it but everytime I read it I didn't change anything so what the hell, hope you enjoyed it.
> 
>  
> 
> xA]


	22. Surprise!

It had been a dreadful day for Zayn. It started as soon as he woke up surrounded by both of his kids, which would've been fine if one of them hadn't wet the bed, meaning he'd have to bathe them before getting dressed and put his sheets to wash. When it was time to brush their teeth Damian refused, flat out said no to opening his mouth. Only getting him to do so when he promised to pick them up from nans with a lolly from the sweet shop Miranda takes them to. 

If that wasn't bad enough, Damian decided to play dead while Zayn was trying to dress him and even had to get Elijah to help move his older twin around.

By the time they made it out of the door Zayn was running late and was utterly exhausted. He wanted nothing more than anything to just go back inside and go back to sleep but he couldn't. He promised his mum a day with the boys and Victoria Beckham waits for no one. 

***

Needless to say Zayn's day was shit and in all honestly the only good part of the day was when his mum asked if she could keep the boys over night to take them to the aquarium the next day, which Zayn gratefully accepted. 

So after eating an early dinner (3pm) with his mum and the boys, Zayn decided to head home to have a soothing bath and just lay around his house with no interruptions. Don't get him wrong, Zayn loves his boys more than anything but it's just nice to have alone time every once in a while. 

He had just taken off his shirt when his doorbell rang. 

At first he was going to ignore it and just continue what he was doing but as he went to unbutton his trousers it rang again.

"Oh for fucks sake!" Zayn grumbled adjusting his trousers and heading towards the front door "The one day in 10,000 years I get a moment to myself everyone wants to come and ring the damn bell. 'Oi, lets just take a piss at Malik today his life has just been oh so peaceful for so long.'" He stopped talking to himself like a senile old man once he was finally stood in front of his large front door. 

Composing himself he took a deep calming breath and opened the door. Only instead of seeing a post man delivering a package or solicitor selling a product he would have found no interest in what so ever, he was met with Louis. 

Louis who wasn't allowed to leave nor have visitors, Louis who he'd been missing dearly, Louis who he'd been calling three times a day just to hear his voice, Louis who he loved.

"Wha- When but? Columbia? Jesus fuck Lou!" Zayn cried practically tackling a travel worn Louis 

"Hey Z." he mumbled running his fingers through Zayn's hair as he nuzzled his face into his neck. "I've missed you babe."

"What are you even doing here? Aren't you gonna get in trouble or something?" Zayn rambled off taking a step back still in shock

"Paul helped me sneak away, s'not important I wanted to see you and the boys so here I am." 

"How long are you here for?" Zayn asked reaching for Louis' hand to lead him in to the house

"I leave about this time tomorrow so literally only twenty-four hours, Barb's gonna lose her shit when she she's I'm not there."

"Babe maybe you shouldn't ha-"

"Don't even finish that sentence Zayn, I'm here there's no changing that. Where are my boys?" Louis grinned so wide Zayn couldn't find an emotion to properly describe it. Happy was no where near enough to explain the look on Louis' face, gleeful? Cheerful? Doesn't matter, he'd never seen Louis so happy.

"They're at my mums she's spent today with them and she's taking them to the aquarium tomorrow." He thought about going to get them, they had missed Louis so much it was heart breaking, but then he realized it could actually do more harm that good.

"Maybe...I hate to say this, but maybe we shouldn't tell them you're here?" Louis was about to interject but he quickly started talking again "They didn't take it well after you left, they didn't understand why you had to go and why you couldn't come back right away. I just think they'd probably take it worse if they'd only get to see you for basically a few hours then have to watch you leave again for another month. Does that make sense or am I being paranoid? I don't know."

"No...no you're probably right." Louis sighed before looking back up at Zayn raising an eyebrow "Why are you half naked?" he asked with a smirk admiring Zayn's body

"I was about to shower..." Zayn mumbled looking down at his paleing skin suddenly self conscious of his body. He'd never admitted it to anyone but Alex, but after having Damian and Elijah, Zayn never fully felt comfortable with his body. He always felt he had a bit of extra skin around his stomach area and the barely-there stretch marks might as well have been drawn in black marker he felt they were so obvious. 

Sensing the shift in his mood Louis cupped the side of Zayn's face and slowly rubbed his thumb along his cheek bone. "I know that look, what's wrong?"

"S'nothing, don't worry." he said praying his voice wouldn't betray him but like so many times before, it did cracking at the last word.

Louis took a breath taking a step closer to Zayn and placed his hands on his hips "You're beautiful."

"What? I didn't even say anything."

"I know you Zayn," Louis smiled seeing Zayns cheeks flushing pink "remember we used to be able to finish each other sentences? You don't have to say anything for me to know how you're feeling."

Zayn nodded looking down to stare at his flesh again "But... I mean, you've been with models Lou, I can't compete with that and fucking Harry who looks like he was carved from fucking marble. But me? I've had two kids whom I love but I don't have my 'body' anymore. I'm not the same Zayn from before I'm not the Zayn you fell in love with." Zayn solemnly responded stepping out of Louis embrace.

Just a few days ago he was so sure that this was it, so sure this was what he wanted, what he and Louis wanted. But now, with Louis in front of him looking amazing even after a twelve hour flight, he's doubting it. All of his old insecurities and worries caused by Louis cheating on him and now Alex's cheating are coming back. 

"Hey, Zayn stop." He said sternly lightly grabbing Zayn's jaw and making his gaze meet his " No, you're not the same Zayn from high school, you're not fucking fourteen years old anymore. Thank God." Louis tried to joke but Zayn expression remained sad "You're so much better now, not that you weren't then because you were, but just you're so much better now. You're the father of my kids and you've raised them til now on your own and just- you have to be so strong to do that, to raise kids on your own." He moved his hands slowly back to Zayn's waist but this time he bought one around to the front and laid it softly on Zayn's stomach making him flinch

"These...these lines are absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. If anything you should be showing them off proudly to let everyone know you've got two amazing children. These lines if anything make me love you even more Zayn. I've said it a thousand times but I'll say it a thousand more if I need to. I'm sorry for what I did it was the worst thing I could've ever done to you but that's the past Zayn. I love you. I am with you. You're all I want so stop this- this doubting, I am in this, with you with Damian and Elijah, for as long as you'll have me. If you wake up one day and want nothing to do with me that's the day I'll leave you alone but until then-"

Zayn cut him off quickly pecking his lower lip and mumbling a quiet "That'd never happen. I'll never stop loving you and wanting you around. I couldn't even when I should've."

He wrapped his arms around Zayns waist pulling his body against his and kissed him softly "This is our first proper kiss since that day on the tour bus." he murmured his lips never leaving Zayns.

"There was nothing proper about that." Zayn smiled turning his head to the side as Louis started trailing kissing down his jaw "We were drunk, or at least I was."

"What would make a proper kiss?" he teased stepping back from Zayn and smiling at Zayn's whimper

"You've got to make an honest man out of me obviously." He smiled smugly crossing his arms over his bare chest

"What you wanna fly to Vegas and get married?"

"What?" Zayn choked "N-no, I mean-"

"Babe!" Louis laughed loving the way Zayn's cheeks turned pink and his eyes grew wide "I know what you mean, so let's do it. Let me take you on a date, right now, completely spontaneous. Let's just go somewhere and enjoy the day we have together."

He chewed his bottom lip for a moment trying to make Louis nervous as payback for laughing at him. Louis' smile slowly started to fade away and Zayn couldn't take it anymore so quickly without cracking a smile he turned away and started walking towards his room making Louis call after him.

"Z, Zayn where are you going?" 

"I've got to get ready for a date with my ex-ex-boyfriend who's trying to make an honest man out of me." Zayn said calming turning to wink and Louis before disappearing down the hall. 

Once inside his room Zayn ran and jumped on his bed burying his face in his pillow letting out a little less than manly squeal. This was what he's being wanting, what he's been craving since the day Louis walked out on him. There was no way he could contain his excitement. 

After three minutes of thorough squealing he rolled over only to find he wasn't alone. Louis stood at the side of the bed quietly laughing at the scene he'd just witnessed.

"Sod off!" He laughed throwing a pillow at his face "You aren't meant to be in here, I could've been changing you prat."

"Then I would've miss my soon-to-be boyfriend thrashing around on the bed like a teenager."

"Yes, yes you've seen it now go away. Guest rooms down the hall."

"I've really got to get ready on my own?" Louis pouted

Zayn sat up leaning against his headboard "Yes, I want a proper date." 

Louis sighed giving in knowing he was going to need to go all out for this date "Fine!"

"Close the door and don't fucking peek!"

Once the door was closed Zayn laid back across the bed and slowly shook his head. He never thought this would happen. That'd he'd been getting a second chance with Louis or that he'd be giving Louis a second chance. He just hoped nothing would go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Chant's 'Zouis date Zouis date Zouis date'! I'm finally back, my cousin from Dallas came down to visit. So i've been having family time but now they're all bothering me so I'M BACK.
> 
> Any predictions on what will happen during the date? Good or bad?
> 
> GIVE ME FEEDBACKKK.
> 
> Love yall!
> 
> xA]


	23. Date Night

_Louis' and Zayn's first date was a disaster, at  first. Louis was twenty minutes late, he'd taken a left turn somewhere when he should've taken a right. Once they had arrived at the restaurant they were late for their reservation so they ended up having to wait another thirty minutes until another table was available. Once at the table Louis had bumped it a bit to hard while adjusting the seat and ended up spilling Zayn's glass of water._

_The conversation wasn't flowing easily like Louis would've liked and it was frustrating him. Yes Zayn was a quiet person even at school it wasn't easy to get him to talk, but once Louis, after almost a month of begging, had gotten his phone number it wasn't so hard. Zayn joked around said how he felt and didn't hold anything back, even when Louis thought he should've._

_Zayn was nervous, yes they'd been talking for over a month and yes he knew Louis had to like him even a little to ask him out on a date but a date made everything real. They were no longer in their little world of text messages and midnight phone calls, if something went wrong that would be it, it'd be over._

_He felt bad because he could see how badly Louis wanted him to be comfortable and for him not to be so shy._

_They were waiting for dessert to come when Louis excused himself to the restroom. Zayn was texting his sister about how he was ruining the date, how he had all these things he wanted to say but he couldn't get himself to even form the words. He was just about to tell her this would be the end of their relationship before it even started when Louis walking back to the table caught his eye._

_Louis sat down and looked up to see Zayn biting down on his lower lip smiling trying to hold back his obvious laughter and Louis automatically deflated. He instantly assumed Zayn never wanted to go on this date and that everything leading up to this had been some joke, fuck knows why, but Louis wasn't going to play into it anymore._

_"We should just go then, yeah." Louis snapped_

_Zayn straightened up in his seat cocking his head to the side and looking at Louis with wide amber eyes "Why, whats wrong?"_

_"It's obvious you're not in to this I mean, fuck Zayn, you're literally laughing at me **to**  my face!" Louis scoffed_

_"What?" Zayn asked because he was genuinely confused he wasn't necessarily laughing at Louis "No, that's not it, I really do want to be here it's just..." He paused trying to figure out the best way to say it "You've got toilet paper on your shoe." and then he lost it. He clutched his stomach trying to laugh quietly but failing each time he looked over at Louis who quickly leaned down to pick the tissue off of him._

_And that was all they needed to break the ice, it happened halfway through the date but it happened non-the-less. After that the conversation flowed easily the talked about Louis playing football for their school, about Zayn's art class he took on weekend at a local art gallery and they, well mostly Louis, talked about how much they liked one another._

_It started off less that perfect but it ended up leading to another date the very next night, then another the weekend after._

 

*******

Louis was sitting in Zayn's living room playing candy crush on his phone. He'd been waiting thirty minutes to get dressed, it only took him fifteen minutes so he couldn't understand what was taking so long. 

He was just about to go knock on Zayn's door to see what was going on when he heard the door open a softly close a few moments later. He could hear Zayn's boots against the hard wood floor and he instantly became nervous. He took a shaky breath and wiped his slightly sweaty hands on his black  _tight_ skinny jeans. 

"So," Zayn said as he turned the corner "What are you doing?"

Louis turned to look at him and all his breath left his lungs. Zayn  wasn't wearing anything outrageously fancy or even showing of his collar bones Louis loved so much. He was wearing a simple pair of black skinny jeans with black Dr Martens and white fitted t-shirt covered with a jean jacket. 

"W-well, I'm-  _oh fuck_!" Louis shook his head and walked over to Zayn tentatively rested his hands on his waist "First, let me just say you look so fucking good!" he said as his fingers instinctively tightening on Zayn "Second, I'm taking you on the first day we should've had ten years ago."

Both Zayn and Louis' eyes widened , _ten years_? For Zayn it felt like just yesterday that Louis showed up on his doorstep, red pants and all, obviously flustered from being late and for Louis it felt like just yesterday he massively embarrassed himself coming out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to his shoe.  

 Zayn smiled at the memory even back then Louis- Louis with the big bum, tiny hands, and (strangely) attractive ankles- was all Zayn cared about. Not much has changed since then really, just now there are two other people, children, that Zayn has to care about as well and he wouldn't have it any other way. 

Louis smiled when he noticed Zayn's glossed over eyes meaning he was thinking of something and he was pretty sure it was about their first date. Louis looked at his watch and grabbed Zayn's hand to pull him out the door.

When Louis parked outside of The Brooklyn Bowl London Zayn was a bit shocked to say the least. 

"A bowling alley Louis?" 

"I said I was taking you on the date I should have ten years ago and I meant it." The blue eyed boy said as he got out of the car and walked around to Zayn's door opening it for him like a real gentleman to lead him inside.

*******

 Forty-five minutes later Zayn and Louis were on their second game with Louis losing to Zayn 83 to 37. Neither of them were very good but Zayn took every opportunity he could to rub it in Louis' face. 

He was attempting to knock down his remaining five pins when Zayn game up behind him and pinched his bum. Blame it on the pints they'd been sharing but he was feeling extremely confident. 

Louis yelped then turned to faced a grinning Zayn "Oi! You made me miss, I was just on my way to a massive comeback then you went and got all grabby hands." He pouted walking back towards their booth downing his pint. When he felt Zayn behind him he smiled and turned to face him hopping up on to the table "If you want to touch, it's going to cost you my dear beautiful Zayn."

Zayn groaned pushing at Louis' shoulder making him fall back on his elbows "Way to ruin the mood Tomlinson."

"What mood?" Louis chortled "You just felt me up!" He shouted as Zayn laughed walking back to take his turn leaving him to admire Zayn from the table.

Zayn won that game too, 120 to 43, Louis never stood a chance. 

*******

 After another round of bowling, that Zayn let Louis win, they were sat on a bench over looking the Thames River. The conversation was flowing easily with the two of them examining each others tattoos they'd gotten over the last four years, mindlessly tracing them and talking about life.

Zayn had just eaten a spoonful of his frozen yogurt when he felt Louis' eyes on him making him blush. 

"What? I've got some on my face yeah?" he asked rubbing his free hand over his face

"No, nothing" Louis chuckled scooting closer to Zayn wrapping his left arm around his waist. "s'just the moonlight and you and you look so happy right now."  he admitted a slight blush on his cheeks.

"You sound like a Lana Del Rey song." he replied as he leaned into his side "But you look amazing  _in the pale moonlight_." he sang quoting one of her songs

"I mean it though," he smiled setting his empty bowl of frozen yogurt down and pulling Zayn even closer. "you look amazing and we've had this conversation a thousand times but I want you to be mine and I want to be yours and I want us to be a family." Louis smiled bringing a hand up to cup Zayn's cheek making him smile with his tongue between his teeth.

At first Zayn shied away from his touch but as he lifted his gaze to meet Louis he not only leaned in to it but he leaned closer so that their foreheads were touching. 

Neither one of them said anything, Louis was waiting for him to reply and Zayn was running everything through his head. He was asking himself if he should give in, if he should trust Louis again and if he can be sure he won't run out on the kids as soon as something goes wrong or becomes hard.

He stared in to Louis' eyes taking deep shaky breaths, it was finally happening. This is what he'd been dreaming and hoping for- for the past four years. It felt like it happened too easily; One Direction being his new client, he and Louis finally talking to each other, Liam finding out about Louis being the boy's father, Louis finding out and now  _this_. 

 Zayn nodded and Louis' breath hitched "W-what?" he asked shocked Zayn was actually saying yes.

"If I'm going to do this, if I'm going to let you fully in to my life you have to understand it's not just me and if you get tired or bored of me you can't just push the boys to the side as well. They know who you are and they know what being their dad means and if you leave...you will never see them again. I won't let you..." Zayn paused taking a breath as his voice cracked "I won't let you break them like you broke me. If you get tired of me that- it's fine but you cannot just drop them."

Louis nodded eagerly and leaned in quickly joining his lips to Zayn's in a slow, soft kiss before pulling away and resting their foreheads together again. "I won't. I promise I won't leave, you or them." he whispered grazing his lips over Zayn's again.

"Okay then, yeah, we're doing this." Zayn smiled "We're doing this."

 

*******

 

 **  
**At about midnight Louis and Zayn were cuddled on the couch, Louis tracing patterns into the skin of Zayn's stomach while watching reruns of _The Big Bang Theory_. 

"Zayn, you awake?"

He nodded in response and scooted back so he was firmly pressed against Louis' front.

"You know when I come back on break after the South American leg of the tour, we should look for a place." He whispered his breath fanning against the back of Zayn's neck, when he didn't receive a response he added on "You know for the four of us, somewhere new, a fresh start you know?"

Zayn turned around and sat up on his elbow with a clearly shocked expression on his face as he looked at Louis. 

"Seriously? We've been together for..." Zayn drawled out looking at a watch that wasn't on his wrist "two hours and you already want to look for a house together? Moving with children isn't easy Lou."

"I know I know, moving when I was younger with my sisters was hard but we lived together before we can do it again?" 

"We dated for four years before we moved in together." Zayn replied dryly

"It would've been sooner if we had finished our A-levels at the same time." 

"I don't know Lou..."

"You don't have to answer now, I'm not back for three weeks all I'm asking is that you think about it babe." he smiled pressing a kiss to Zayn's temple.

Flopping back onto the couch, Zayn eyed Louis, his heart swelling uncontrollably at everything he'd just said and sighed "You  _will_ be the death of me Lou." _  
_

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [It's difficult to write about a date when you yourself do not date. Anyways, this is about as fluffy as I can get, was this even fluff? I dunno. 
> 
> Are you happy they are officially a couple now?! What do you think about Louis' suggestion to move in together? Is it too soon? And what do you think Zayn will decide?]


	24. Paparazzi

Leaving the next day was difficult for Louis and Zayn. After just one day together the thought of spending three weeks apart after just defining their relationship was almost torturous. It was like finally arriving at a concert you've been waiting months for only to leave right before it starts.

_It sucks._

As soon as Louis landed back in South America and made it to the new hotel they were staying in he went to his room he was forced to listen to Zach and Richard go on and on about how him leaving was  _unprofessional_ and that they had to  _reschedule_ an  _important_ interview. Louis didn't care though, the twenty-four hours he got to spend with Zayn was so worth it, he'd do it again in a heartbeat.

After Zach and Richard left Harry ran in to the room with Niall on his back and Liam laughing following behind.

"Just so you know we got our arses chewed out all day yesterday." Liam sighed as he flopped on the bed next to Louis

"Yeah mate, they thought some Colombian drug lord kidnapped you." Niall said as he sprawled himself out on the floor at Harry's feet "Dramatic mess it was." 

"Funny though the first thing Richard said when he walked in was ' _Now we have to push the damn interview back_!' Yeah because my best mate missing is not the number one priority." Harry scoffed shoving at Niall with his foot and reaching over to Louis luggage and emptying it on the floor laughing as Louis groaned. "Just thought'd I'd help you get started." 

"But no one cares about that shit right now, what'd you do?" Niall cut in sitting up on his knees staring at Louis curiously. "Did you fu-"

"Niall!" Liam snapped

"Oh yes sorry for my language my  _dear_  Liam," he dramatically cleared his throat placing his hand on his chest  "Did you and Zayn... engageinsexualintercourse?" 

Liam pulled the pillow out from under his head and threw it straight at Niall's face. 

"What Niall means to say Lou," Harry spoke as he picked up the pillow and threw it back at Liam "is that we're happy for you.You were working so hard to show him that you'd learned from your mistakes. It's good to see you smile mate, you hadn't in so long so this is good." 

The other lads nodded in agreement, this whole time in South America was spent with Louis moping around saying how much he missed his kids and how much he wished Zayn was with him and now that they're finally back together... Louis hasn't stopped smiling in the past twenty-four hours.

They spent the rest of the night watching Spanish television and playing video games talking about nothing and everything all at once. 

***

 

When Louis woke up the next morning at the ungodly hour of five a.m. he felt,  _off_. Something wasn't right and he couldn't place what the feeling was, so like always he called his mum but she assured him that everything was okay and even let him speak to each of his sisters and his brother. 

After that, he felt a bit better but there was still  _something_ off and it was frustrating him. He was thinking of who else to call when Barbara barged in to his room telling him he was the last to be ready and they were running late for an interview that they only had to reschedule because he ran off to London unannounced. So Louis tucked his phone into his pocket and followed her down to the hotel lobby then out to the van waiting for them. 

***

"Hello Brazil!" the interviewer, Lorena, cheered as the red recording light switched on "Today we have some very special guest for you, the world's biggest boyband,  _One Direction_! Louis, Liam, Harry and Niall have stopped by today and are going to answer a few questions for us isn't that right boys?"

The other boys nodded while Louis slightly wrapped his arms around himself, the feeling he had when he woke up this morning was only getting worse and it was starting to make him antsy. 

It started out like all the interviews they'd done for the past six years, if they got along, how they dealt with being away from home for so long and how being in  _One Direction_ changed their lives. And they answered them all with the usual answers they've been repeating since day one. 

Then Lorena got to a question that like the others had been asked at every interview since  _One Direction_ began. "So the one thing all your fans want to know is are you dating someone or are you all single? Let's start with you Liam."

Liam smiled shifting in his seat "M'dating someone yes she's a sweet girl. This is still new, our relationship, so we're keeping it quiet for now." 

The crowed cooed at the adorable blush painting his cheeks and only made him blush more. 

"Harry and Niall we've heard some interesting rumors about the two of you starting back in Paris during your promo tour. It was said that people saw you leaving a night club looking  _very_ cozy together, is there something going on between the two of you?"

 Louis and Liam rolled there eyes as Niall and Harry adamantly denied that there was anything going on between the two of them, even though the picture shown on the screen clearly showed the two boys stumbling out of the club, Nialls arms around Harry's waist and Harry's over Niall's shoulders and Niall pressing a kiss where Harry's jaw met his throat. The interviewer looked skeptical but moved on none the less. 

 "And last but not least, Louis. There's been  _a lot_  of controversy surrounding your love life since the beginning, starting with outing yourself on live television, cheating on your boyfriend with actress Eleanor Calder, then shortly after splitting with her you dated Harry here, then after him you dated plenty of other people as well. You're quite a womanizer and a man eater all at once." She paused looking Louis in they eye "You recently posted on your twitter a photo of the other boys behind you with Zayn Malik your boyfriend almost four years ago with two boys cuddled up with him. Can you explain to us what the photo meant?" 

 All the boys froze staring at the woman who made such audacious remarks, she however looked as though she hadn't said anything wrong.

Louis cleared his throat before speaking "First I'd like to say that Eleanor was a waitress at a diner when I met her and that her story of going on dozen's of auditions is, for lack of a better word,  _shit_. As for-"

"But you did cheat on your boyfriend of six years, Zayn Malik, with her right?" Lorena asked not missing a beat.

"That's correct and it's something I still regret ever doing."

"Is that so-"

"Yes-"

"What's your relationship with Zayn now? How did you handle the news about you having kids? We assume you didn't know about them because you'd never mentioned them before that tweet, we didn't even know Zayn had kids himself."

"He did an amazing job at protecting our boys from the media and I'm grateful for that. To answer your question no I didn't know about them until recently but that's my fault as well. After Zayn and I broke up he tried to contact me and the other lads but I denied every call, deleted every text and made the lads do so as well. It was a shit thing for me to do and I'd take it back in an instant but I can't. I missed out on so many things, I missed them crawling, learning to walk, talk, dress themselves. I missed huge milestones in their lives but I don't plan on ever missing anymore. I plan to be there on their first day of school, when they learn to ride bikes and skateboards and when they need help with math, even though I'm rubbish at it, I'll be there."

Liam smiled at put his arm around Louis shoulders and pulled him in for a hug.

"We're all proud of him for doing the right thing with Zayn and his kids and we're glad Zayn has allowed us all in their lives again." Harry added with Niall nodding along

"What exactly is going on between you and Zayn, Louis?"

 Louis was becoming annoyed with her questions and wanted nothing more than to walk off but he figured he was in enough trouble as it is so he shifted in his seat and tried his hardest not to glare at her. 

"Zayn and I are dating now and trying to get our relationship back to where it was before. We're keeping everything pretty private right now just spending time with each other and talking things out." Louis said with a smile as he remembered his previous day with Zayn.

"We did see the pictures of you two on the pier yesterday looking quite adorable. So just one more time to clear it up, you are off the market?"

"Yes, yes I am." he smiled

Lorena wrapped up the interview mentioning the upcoming Brazilian tour dates and said bye again before they quickly walked off stage. As they made it back to the green room Louis was hit with the, this time, over whelming feeling that something was wrong and this time Liam noticed.

"Mate, you've been looking poorly what is it?"

"I dunno, I can't explain it I just have this feeling something wrong but I called my mum and everyone's fine." he ran his fingers through his hair as the feeling intensified. 

"Did you call Zayn?" Niall asked coming to stand next to Louis with Harry coming to stand by Liam.

Louis' head shot up to look at Niall worry taking over his features as he pulled out his phone and immediately dialed Zayn's phone number. With each ring different scenarios played through his head of what could be wrong. He was about to scream when he heard Zayn's voice "Hello,-"

"Zayn, babe are you-"

"you've reached Zayn Malik. I'm not available at this time but ple-" Louis didn't even let his finish before he hung up and called his mum again. 

This time though instead of answering right away like she did this morning it went to her voicemail, so he hung up and called Lottie.

When he heard her take a breath to say Hello he cut her off "Lottie! What's wrong there's something wrong I can feel it."

"I'm sorry Lou," she said sadly "I don't know anything mum's on the phone trying to call Tricia right now." 

And that's when Louis' felt his heart shatter, something  _was_  wrong with Zayn. 

"Put her on the phone I need to know what happened, Lottie put her on the phone  _now_!" He shouted not meaning to sound harsh with her but he  _needed_ to talk to his mum. 

There was the sound of shuffling , the phone being passed around before he heard his mum's voice "Boobear-"

"What happened mum is he okay?" Louis cried 

The other lads realizing, Louis' just having a 'feeling' turned in to something serious, started pulling out their phones and calling their family members to see if they'd heard anything.

"We don't know yet babe all we've heard is whats been on the news and even they haven't said too much."

"But what are they saying mum I haven't heard anything!"

"He was in a car accident Lou, paparazzi were chasing him and apparently there was a car crash but that's all I know Louis. I called Tricia but all she said was that she was on the way to the hospital and she'd call me back. I'm going to call her again love and when I find out more Lottie or I will call you and let you know."

Louis nodded with silent tears falling down his cheeks because Zayn was in a car accident and he didn't know whether or not the boys were with him. All these unanswered questions were flowing through head and he could feel his heart beating out of his chest almost painfully. 

"My mum says the news said there was no one in the car with Zayn, Lou." Harry called from the corner where he was quietly talking to him mum trying not to add to the chaos.

Louis sighed letting out a quiet "Oh thank God." just as Paul and Preston came back to take them back to the hotel.

***

"It's gonna be okay Lou m'sure every things alright." Liam assured him as he followed him into his hotel room. "Your mum will call you soon and everything will be okay." 

Louis turned to look back at him eyes red from crying "I hope so, I just got him back an I can't lose him again and then the boys what would happen if he.. if he-"

Liam quickly walked over to Louis and wrapped his arms around his smaller frame rocking them side to side "Shh don't think like that, you've got to be positive Lou," he said his voice sincere and full of hope.

Louis didn't respond he just nodded, he didn't trust his voice, his voice would show just how scared he was. Louis replayed what Liam said over and over in his head desperately hoping he was right. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [I am so sorry. I don't even know. Jk i've had this planned since I started this story. 
> 
>  
> 
> Next chapter will explain exactly what happened with Zayn. How do you think Louis will react when he finds out what condition Zayn's in? How will Elijah and Damian react when they hear what happened to their dad?
> 
> As always love you all. I've seen a lot of rude shit being said about people and their stories including my own and all I have to say is keep your nasty words and opinions to yourself. Criticism is always welcome as long as it's constructive, there is never an excuse to be nasty and hateful. Buh bye now!
> 
> xA]


	25. Devin's What?

"Damian I am literally _begging_  you, please put on your shoes so we can go, it's October and it's cold. I don't want you getting sick."

"But daddy I hate socks and I really hate shoes. I wanna have nakey feet!" Damian said throwing himself on his batman rug and throwing his socks to the other side of the room just missing Elijah's face "shoes make my feet squished and I can't breath!" 

"How do shoes..." Zayn trailed off pausing to look at his son who looked  _just_  like him "you're just like Louis. He hates shoes too, as soon as he walks in the door he kicks them off." 

" _okay_...." Damian mumbled squinting his eyes at his dad not sure why he was talking about Louis when his feet were obviously more important. "I'm not g'wear 'em."

Zayn sighed and looked over at Elijah who was sitting criss-cross on top of his  _Spiderman_  sheets watching his dad and brother argue about shoes, trying not to laugh. 

"Can you at least wear your slippers then as soon as you're in Nan's you can take them off. If you get sick we have to go to the hospital and get shots. Do you want shots?" He threatened knowing this was his last shot before he'd have to force the shoes on his feet. 

Damian smirked raising an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest "My Squirtle slippers with the squeaky noise?" 

"Fine. Now please let's go I'm running late as it is."

Zayn ran down the stairs, the two boys close behind and quickly helped them into their coats before running out the door. 

As Zayn pulled out of his front drive, he carefully maneuvered around the photographers, who had practically been camped out there since Louis left for tour and headed towards his mums house to drop off the boys. 

On the drive Zayn noticed to two black cars following him closely but didn't think anything of it. A few minutes later and pulled into his mums front drove and waited until her gate closedto take the boys out of the car. 

 

********

 

After the usual goodbyes and promises of pizza and Nemo when he got back, Zayn went out to his car. Just like back at his house he had to carefully go around the photographers but this time they didn't kindly move out of the way. 

They were shouting questions to him and holding their cameras up to his windows snapping pictures and temporally blinding Zayn with their bright flashes. 

He was trying his best to keep calm and not panic but with so many people chasing after him it was hard not to. He finally managed to get out of the mass of photographers and started on his way to work. But as if on cue the two black cars were at his side again and this time much more aggressive than before. 

Zayn was swerving and speeding and just  _trying_  desperately to get away from them. He was turning left on Bulton St so he could get on the A4 when the people on the passenger side of both cars rolled down their windows are started rapidly snapping photos of him with their flashes on. 

He immediately  _panicked_ he couldn't see, his brain was on overdrive and even though he had just dropped them off, he instinctively looked in his rear view mirror to see if Damian and Elijah were there. He turned just in time to see that he was just feet away from hitting a woman who was standing there watching him with wide eyes, and quickly jerked his wheel in the opposite direction just barely missing her.

And that's really the last thing Zayn remembers.

 

***

Alex was having breakfast at a sidewalk bistro with Devin when his phone started ringing. It wouldn't have been out of the ordinary... if it was his everyday  _normal_ ringtone, but of course it wasn't. 

It was   _'I Am the Highway'_  by AudioSlave, Zayn's ringtone.

Zayn never understood why Alex had picked that song, it was about not wanting to be someone's short term but wanting to be their...  _forever_. Obviously deep down they both knew that wasn't true but Zayn let him keep the ringtone just for the fact that it was a good song. 

 

 

 _'I am not your blowing wind_  
 _I am the lightning_  
 _I am not your autumn moon_  
 _I am the night_  
 _The nig_ - '

"Seriously Alex," Devin snapped, he  _loathed_  that song, knowing exactly whose ringtone it was "answer the damn thing. If he's calling you he  _has_ to be desperate considering he punched you square in your jaw."

Alex hesitated for a moment before swiping the screen and taking a breathe before speaking "Zayn?" 

"Hello, is this Alex Pettyfer?" an unfamiliar voice asked.

Alex said yes and the unknown man continued "Yes, you're the emergency contact for a Mr. Zayn Malik... he was involved in a head on crash. He's here at  _The Royal London Hospital_ he's being admitted to surgery and we need to ask if you know whether he's allergic to anything?"

Alex was at a lost for words his mouth opening and closing as though he forgot how to properly form a simple sentence. 

"Sir we need to know now, if we give him something he's allergic to the end result could be..." he trailed off leaving Alex's imagination headed towards the worst ending.

"H-he... he's allergic to Morphine, you can give him Tramadol." Alex said robotically eyes still wide and starring at Devin how was in return starring at him confused. 

"Thank you, the surgery shouldn't be long if you could please make your way here to fill out the paper work." and just like that, the line went dead. 

***

 

Zayn's mum, Tricia, was just about to switch her t.v. to input 2 so she could play Elijah and Damian's  _Baby Einstein_ dvd when she heard Zayn's name instantly earning her attention. 

_'Zayn Malik, famed stylist to celebrities was involved in a head on crash early this morning. Witnesses say he was being aggressively followed down Bulton St when he swerved to miss a pedestrian resulting in him crashing head on in to a cement median. We've been told he is in stable condition and that his boyfriend of two years Alex Pettyfer arrived at the hospital shortly after.'_

Tricia quickly checked behind her seeing and that the boys were still in the kitchen arguing over juice, popped in the dvd and ran towards her bedroom to grab her cellphone knowing the twins would just go and make themselves comfortable on the couch. 

Once there she quickly dialed Zayn's number just to make sure what she heard was real and that she wasn't just hearing things.

She felt tears well up in her eyes when it went to voicemail because that made it real. Her child, her only son was hurt and she had to find out from  _Breaking News_  on her television. 

Why hadn't they called her?

Why was Alex there, was he with him, was he one of the vehicles chasing Zayn? After what happened during the birthday party she wouldn't put it passed him. 

But most importantly, what she was going to tell the boys?

 

*******

Zayn awoke to a bright light shining on his face making him scrunch up his face which instantly made him wince. He shakily lifted a hand up and ran his fingertips over his face feeling stitches on his forehead and scratches on her cheek. 

He didn't understand why his body felt like he'd been hit by a truck or why he had cuts and stitches, why he couldn't breathe properly and...a cast on his left arm. 

He finally decided to brave the light and open his eyes groaning and quickly closing his eyes again turning to face away from the windows. He attempted taking a deep breathe but the pain he felt stopped him instantly.

"Your ribs are broken." an all too familiar voice spoke "So are both bones in your forearm... you've also got stitches on your forehead and under your chin."

Zayn's eyes furrowed in confusion "Alex?" but then his face set into a glare as he noticed the person sitting next to him " _Devin_."

"Yeah...I guess I'm still your emergency contact in your phone." Alex chuckled dryly  "We were having breakfast when they called and asked me some questions about you."

"You shouldn't have come if anything you should have just called my mum and let her come up here. Seeing the two of you right now is stressing me out."

 "She's got my number blocked, which I guess I deserve and we didn-" Alex stopped when Devin cleared his throat next to him "I didn't want you to wake up here alone."

"Isn't that just lovely of you to care for me now." Zayn said angrily wishing he could sit up and properly glare or even find the strength to reach for the water cup a few feet away to throw at him. 

" I don't want to argue with you, I just wanted to see if you were okay. Devin and I have an appointment on the third floor so we should go." Alex stood reaching his hand out for his boyfriend who, as he got up to stand, let his free hand come down and cradle a barely there... _bump_.

Zayn noticed and with wide eyes made eye contact with Alex "H-he's pregnant? He's fucking pregnant!"

"Four months." Devin replied before Alex could even open his mouth.

"We've only been broken up for just over two months." Zayn replied almost sounding like a whisper.

"We found out just before we came back to London from Ghana... that's why I didn't pick Damian and Elijah up. I couldn't function properly, I didn't want them to see me like that. So I decided I needed to end things with you and devote myself to Devin."

He watched as Alex glanced at Devin shaking his head 'no' making Devin roll his eyes and walk towards the door "I'll be in the hall, hurry up we only have twenty minutes and we always get lost." He smiled softly kissing Alex on the corner of his mouth, glanced at Zayn and walked out of the room.

"You planned that?"

"What?"

"Me walking in on you and  _him_ in my bed? You thought that was an okay thing to do? What did I do that was so fucking bad you had to do that?" The angrier he became the faster his heart monitor beeped.

Alex flinched taken back by Zayn's harsh tone. This wasn't what was supposed to happen, he just wanted to make sure he was okay but now in hindsight he realizes that maybe bringing Devin was a bad Idea. 

He was about to to respond when Zayn's doctor walked in the room having heard him yelling and immediately told Alex that he needs to leave when he saw the heart monitor. 

'I'll call you later to talk about this Zayn. It's... I just need to talk to you."

"Leave." was all Zayn said not even bothering to look at him.

 

 

There was an awkward for a moment before the doctor started explaining exactly what happened "Do you know why you're here Mr. Malik?"

Zayn simply shook his head no.

"It appears as though you were chased by photographers and in order to avoid hitting a pedestrian you swerve and in turn hit a concrete median. Luckily you weren't going terribly fast or it could've been worse. You've cracked three ribs on your right side, there isn't much to be done for that beside's keeping them tightly wrapped and pain meds. You've have stitches on your forehead and chin which I'm assuming is from shattered glass or maybe the airbag deploying. You've also broken  _both_ bones in your left forearm. The bones pierced through the skin and in order to reset them we had to operate on you. All-in-all Mr. Malik you're very lucky, this could have gone a different way but thankfully it didn't."

He went on to explain the medication he would be on, how to properly care for his cast and that he would be released the next day which seemed a bit soon to him because in total he had broken five bones could barely breathe and they were kicking him out?

"I'll be back in about thirty minutes to check on you and administ-"

 

"Zayn! My baby?" his mum shouted bursting through the door hair disheveled and a worried look on her face practically tackled him. "Why wasn't I called? Why was Alex here? I had to find out from the news, the news Zayn I was bloody terrified!"

"Mum!" He cried willing tears not to spring from his eyes "Mum my ribs are broken let me go!"

"Oh baby I'm sorry, are you okay what happened? How long do you have to stay here?" Tricia asked trying to calm herself as she took in the image before her. Her son was cut and bruised with bandages all over his body and a cast on his arm. 

"Photographers." he said yawning and reaching for the glass of water he'd been craving ever since he woke up.

After almost an hour of being coddled by his mum, Zayn fell asleep giving Tricia the opportunity to call Jay back. She had called when she was driving to the hospital but she was too frantic to talk to her. 

The phone only rung once before a clearly worried Jay answered "Oh please tell me he's okay!"

 

***

 

It was three  _a.m._ when Louis was woken up by his cell phone  _blasting_ his mums ringtone and at first he was annoyed that she was calling him so early, she knew the time difference, but as soon as he remembered what happened he quickly jumped out of bed and ran to the desk and answered.

"Mum? What happened, is he okay? Mum please why aren't you answering I need to know if he's okay mum!" he shouted not ever giving his mother room to speak

"Well Boo, if you'd breathed I'd maybe be able to get a word in edge wise." She said softly before taking deep breath and explain to him that Zayn was, in fact, okay. She told him that he was chased by photographers and that he swerved to miss hitting a young girl which resulted in him slamming in to the concrete median. She explained his injuries and his surgery and lastly she explained that Zayn specifically told Tricia to tell Louis not to come to London. That he was okay and everything was fine that he would just see him in two weeks when he came back. 

With each word she spoke Louis let out a shaky breath, half relieved he was okay and half pained that Zayn went and was going through that. He immediately protested when Jay said to not come home but she assured him that everything  _truly_ was okay. 

"How are Damian and Elijah?" was the first calm sentence Louis spoke.

"Tricia said they're with Zayn's sisters, they don't know what's happened yet." 

He ran his hand over his face and through his hair still trying to gather his thoughts "I guess that's good then yeah? Like they're not freaking out, they're just having a day with their Aunts."

"Yeah babe. Listen go to sleep and if anything changes I'll call you. Don't worry so much." 

 "Okay, I'm just gonna call Zayn then I'll go back to sleep. We have a show today and I've only been asleep for an hour so I'm a bit fucked." Louis chuckled softly

"Tricia said he was sleeping Lou, the doctor gave him some pain medication that made him sleepy. Just go to sleep and call him when you wake up I think she said the doctor gave her his phone so he should have it."

Louis didn't want to agree but he knew both he and Zayn needed their sleep, especially Zayn. "Yeah, yeah okay. I'll talk to you later mum."

"Relax love, he's fine, the boys are fine, you're fine. He'll reassure you when you call later okay. I've got to feed Ernest and Doris so I'll talk to you later. I love you."

"I love you too mum."

Louis stared at his phone for a while, his lock screen was a photo of he and Zayn the day after they had first moved in together. They were both smiling and so in love and he wants the back. The thought that he almost not only lost his chance but also the love of his life was almost to much for him, it was so overwhelming that all his body seemed to be able to do was cry. So he did, he laid back down on his bed and cried. 

 He fell asleep fifteen minutes later, peacefully. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Zayn is okay! smh at those of you who thought I was going to make him have amnesia...I'm not that cheesy/cliché. 
> 
> Louis will be coming home soon and and they can start doing family things and build their relationship especially Louis' relationship with the boys.
> 
>  
> 
> Life is life and I've been busy, so I'm sorry. Work and shopping for a new apartment are very time consuming.... I love yall. I feel like I say that all the time but ohh well!
> 
>  
> 
> xA]


	26. This Is It

"Alls 'm saying is I remember all your spots. Like I know if I kiss you from nipple to nipple you'll practically orgasm on spot."

Zayn blushed as he readjusted the laptop that was laying on top of his stomach. 

"Shh shh, the boys are asleep and the last thing I need is for them to be up at..." he paused looking at the alarm clock on his nightstand "half one in the morning." he scolded lightly doing a poor job at hiding his smile.

"You mean the last thing you need is for them to come in and as why their daddy is talking to his computer without a shirt on?"

He blushed again as he started looking around for his long forgotten hoodie. "Shut it  _Tomlinson_."

"You say that because I'm right.  _Oi_! You better not be looking for a shirt I want to see you... your body until I fall asleep, _Malik_." Louis smirked knowing what affect his words had on Zayn. 

"Speaking of sleep," Zayn shifted "I should goto bed it's been twelve days since the accident and I can finally get my stitches out...I can stop feeling like Frankenstein."

Louis scoffed at that. "Babe really? Frankenstein?"

"I'm covered in bruises and stitches not to mention this fucking electric blue cast I've got on my arm." Zayn laughed 

"Zayn you could literally roll around in shit and still be the most beautiful person in the room." Louis replied honestly 

Zayn blushed looking up from his hands and locking eyes with Louis. Neither noticed the way their breathing became labored, Zayn didn't notice the way he was chewing on his lower lip looking wide eyed at Louis and Louis didn't notice the way he was absentmindedly tracing his lips with his index finger. 

"Lou..." Zayn mumbled smiling at Louis "Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?" He asked innocently 

"I don't know, it's like you're studying me..."

"I am, I haven't seen this much of you in years Z."

"I was shirtless the morning you left." He laughed calling bullshit

"Yeah, but I literally had to run out of the house to catch my plane. I didn't see the skull with the top hat, or the way your collar bones pop out now. Or _fuck_ , I didn't even get to study the way your jaw has become more defined, your stoma-"

"My stretch marks you mean?" 

"Zayn," Louis sighed running his hand down his face then back through his hair "I will never understand how someone as amazing and beautiful as you can't see that. How can you not know how fucking stunning you are to me, hell to everyone.

I just... I just want to show you- make you see how everyone else see's you. You deserve it Zayn after everything you've been through, you deserve genuine happiness."

At this point Zayn's lip had started to quiver as he struggled to keep the smile on his face. Every word Louis spoke brought out emotions for Zayn that he had kept buried for years. He was just about to respond with something that would turn this already cheesy conversation, over the top, but as usual Louis had to open his mouth.

"So like... ya know..." 

"No not really, what am I supposed to know?" he retorted raising an eyebrow at Louis.

"It'd be pretty fucking great if that blanket disappeared and maybe took your boxers and trackies with it." He smiled pulling at his bottom lip starring at Zayn gauging his reaction.

"Absolutely not! No that's- nope no." he shrieked stumbling over his words.

Louis laughed clutching his stomach and rolling over on to his back "Oh God, your face! It was worth a try though."

"Not funny! Really though, I should go Lou tomorrow the boys are spending the night at my mums and I'm getting my stitches out..." Zayn trailed of thinking of the other thing he planned to do that day. "it's a busy day."

Louis picked up on Zayn hesitance rolling back to his side "What else do you have to do? Why are the boys going to your mums?"

"Mum said I'd probably be a little tired after getting my stitches out so she offered to take them, plus Safaa really wants to see them."

"Liar." he accused full of confidence "Tell me the  _real_  reason."

"Bloody hell!" Zayn groaned throwing himself back on his bed so that the only thing Louis could see on his screen were Zayn's bent knees. "Fine! I'm... _meetingupwithAlex_."

"Pardon me, what?"

"I'm meeting Alex... to talk?" he murmured doing everything he could to avoid the others gaze.

"Talk about what? What is there to  _fucking_  talk about? You didn't love him, he didn't love you, he cheated on you, you dumped him, you forgave me, you're dating me! What the hell do you need to talk to Alex about?" Louis seethed

 

Zayn flinched at Louis' tone but immediately calmed, he knew Louis wasn't mad at him, he knew Louis wasn't even mad about the fact he was meeting with Alex. Louis was nervous and maybe a little scared the something would happen during that conversation and Zayn would realize that maybe Alex was better than him and Alex would realize how big a mistake he made hurting Zayn. Louis was scared he'd go back to being Louis Tomlinson, lonely, angry Louis Tomlinson who went around sleeping with anyone he could to try and fill some sort of void.

Zayn knew that. 

He reassured Louis that none of those things were going to happen, revealed Devin's pregnancy and Zayn promised to call him before and after they met and to text him during, Zayn couldn't deny him because he knew if Louis were going to meet Eleanor he'd want the same.

 

 

***

It was 1:45 and Zayn was sitting at a back booth at _Toff's_  glaring at the man in front of him, Alex and his blonde hair, Alex and his blue eyes and his stupid fucking gray v-neck. The longer he sat there the more he regretted even agree to this, in the end would _anything_  Alex had to say change his mind or make him feel better? Probably not.

"So... I have a meeting at three so I guess I better explain."

"Yeah. I assume so." Zayn sneered taking a sip of his Coke and wishing there was Jack Daniel's in it, he still wasn't allowed to drink due to the medication he was still on

"I- I never meant for this to happen." Alex started with a pleading tone that only made Zayn scoff and cross his arms over his chest.

"It's true, The first time I... _you know_ , with him, that was meant to be it done, over. I made him promise not to say anything to you because I loved you. I really did. But then we went to America and it really was business, we were mapping out places for new wells and other things but... my feelings for him never went away. I remember the first day I met him." Alex smiled at the thought of the day he met Devin.

"It was a year before I met you, he came in to interview for the position of my secretary and the second my eyes locked on him... it had to be." 

Zayn threw his hand up motioning for Alex to stop talking... he didn't give a damn about how Alex and Devin met or how they fell in love. He wanted to know why Alex chose to end things with him the way he did, why he chose to do it in a way so close to how his heart was broken the first time by someone he loved with all his heart.

"Spare me your star-crossed lovers story and get to where you decided to break up with me the same way Louis did, please." it wasn't a question and Zayn knew Alex could tell from the gulp he took.

"I had been trying to find a way to say it and each time I did, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew what had happened to you before and I didn't want to do the same..." Alex sighed reaching out to run his fingers over Zayns knuckles. 

"You did it anyway though and my  _kids_  found you Alex. I would've been okay with you just breaking up with me but they way you did it...was heartless."

"I came home from the Ghana trip after Devin told me he was pregnant." Alex started ignoring what Zayn had said "I was sitting there thinking of how exactly to tell you I got someone else pregnant or how to get everything out before you got home so it would be like I never existed.

I called Devin to come and help me grab some things and then later when you came home and found my stuff gone I would've explained but things happened and well, yeah. We lost track time and you came home. We heard you in the boys room and we tried to get dressed quickly because the only thing that was going through my mind was what Louis did and how I didn't want to recreate that for you. Then Damian and Elijah came in and everything was fucked." Alex stopped to take a much needed breath and looked at Zayn seeing tears making their way down his cheeks.

"I never meant to hurt you but you have to know how I feel if only just a little bit. I heard about you and  _him_ being together again, to forgive him for what he did to you... you never stopped loving him and I always knew that. I guess we were both just passing time and it sucks we bo- it sucks that you got hurt but in a way I wouldn't change a thing. You're with the person you love and I with the person I love. I don't think I would have even been able to tell you..."

Zayn wasn't sure how exactly to react. Should he scream and yell about how big of an arse Alex? He probably could but part of him had to agree with what he said, he never stopped loving Louis the way Alex never stopped caring about Devin. They just somehow managed to find one another and be what the other needed at the point in time. 

 Zayn was wrong when he said this wasn't going to make him feel any better because he could feel the anger he had towards Alex fade away and instead was looking at... _himself._  Alex had used him to fill a void, he tried to be happy with him but in the end his heart never really left the one he truly wanted. 

"I'm... I guess I'm not mad anymore, I understand how you felt. It doesn't make it hurt any less but I understand." Zayn exhaled as he slid to exit the booth

 Alex followed his movements standing and holding out his hand to help Zayn up "What about us being friends? I still care about you an I at least want to be friends Zayn." 

"I care about you as well but I don't think being friends would work for us there's too much history Louis hates you and Devin hates me, not to mention they probably wouldn't get along. We should just leave it here, say goodbye and move on." He replied calmly offering Alex a small smile before dropping a few quid on the table and heading towards the exit.

Once they made it out to their cars Alex pulled on Zayn's arm to get him to stop and face him. "This is it then yeah?"

He nodded shrugging his arm out off his grip "Yeah. Thanks for this but this is it. I'll see you around someday." and then just like that he walked around to the drivers side of his SUV and got it not even sparing a glance at Alex as he drove away.

***

"So it's done then yeah? You won't have to talk to him again?"

Zayn laughed switching the phone from his left ear to his right "Unless I'm somehow six months pregnant and don't know it no, I won't have to talk to him again."

Louis who had been taking a drink of his tea choked on it and started violently coughing "That's not fucking funny Zayn! I don't even wanna think about that!"

"Oh  _chill_ , it's not even possible I'm on birth control have been for four years now."

Louis continued to cough until he finally cleared his throat and caught his breath. There was an awkward silence for a while with Louis thinking of how to word what he wanted to saw exactly right and Zayn just continuing to sort his laundry.

"You could get off the birth control if you wanted to, ya know." Louis practically whispered.

Zayn froze "Excuse me? I'm not sure I heard that properly. Are you out of your mind?" he spat out quickly because to him Louis was obviously losing his mind.

"I'm just say-"

"We shouldn't even be talking about that. You're mental, we've been together two weeks-"

"But we were together for six years before Zayn that's got to count for something. Our feelings are still there, everything's the same we're just a bit older." 

"It's not the same, so much has happened and I'm not even talking about the cheating. We've both got careers mine isn't slowing down anytime soon and apparently One Direction is going to be around till Harry goes bald, which is never, do you really want another kid right now?  _Especially_ since the chance of twins it's  _stupidly_  high. I can't- I just can't not right now. We need to wait and see how this all plays out"

Deep down Louis knew Zayn was right, knew the best thing for them was to wait, give him time to adjust to being apart of the family and the boys to adjust to him. But ever since Zayn had come back in to his life with his kids the thought of seeing his belly swollen with his kid or kids never left his mind.

He wanted to be there for him when he had morning sickness, he wanted to go to the doctor appointments and see how his baby was progressing. 

Before he could speak Zayn let out a breath "I know what you're thinking Lou. It'll happen just not yet, we're not ready for it. We need to do things properly this time."

"Fine." Louis agreed smiling in to the phone "But don't get all pissy once we're moved in, settled, married and start bugging you for more babies. We come from big families Zayn, we need more kids."

Zayn could hear the smile in his voice which instantly made him smile knowing Louis wanted the same things he wanted was all the reassurance he needed to know he made the right decision letting him back in to his life.

"I love you Zayn."

"I love you too Lou, two more days." he sighed

"Two days til I'm  _home_."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [So this is a completely different version of this chapter than what I had before (fucking computer decided to update the second I walked away). It was so frustrating to write because I truly loved what I had written the first time but f*ck you laptop for updating out of no where.
> 
> I feel like someone has been missing from this story for a bit too long now and needs to make a lovely visit ;) any idea who I'm talking about?
> 
> ALSO, I've had a few people (wattpad) say that they want to read more about Louis and Zayn during high school and pre-Eleanor, and said I should make a sort of prequel. I've thought about it but I'm not 100% sure, if I did though it wouldn't be til after this book is done whenever that may be. Would any of you be interested in that?
> 
> This is long, bye.
> 
> twitter: fuckoffZOUIS
> 
> instagram: sweetxXxdreams
> 
> xA
> 
> LOVE YOUUUUU!]


	27. I'm Coming Home

Zayn was nervously tapping the steering wheel of his SUV as he waited outside of the airport for Louis. He wasn't really sure why he was nervous it was just Louis, Louis who he'd known since he was fourteen, Louis who was his boyfriend for six years and is now his boyfriend again. It was just Louis so he should feel comfortable, he shouldn't be shaking and he shouldn't feel like he's going to pass out. 

"Sweetie, why are you freaking so bad? What happened?" Tricia asked her son who was quite honestly freaking her out with all his mindless mumbling

"I don't know why I didn't realize what he said until now, holy shit mum, he said  _married_!" he gasped running his hands up and down his face the going back to tap on the wheel.

"He asked you to  _marry him_!"  _  
_

" _What?_ No, no but like he hinted that it's something he wants in the future. I don't know mum I didn't think about it after he said it but right now knowing he's gonna walk out of the airport any minute has me shaking!"

"Hey babe isn't that part of being in a relationship? What's the point of being in a relationship with someone you don't plan on marrying, especially in a serious relationship love? That's the end game innit? Just breathe and try to calm down, I'm sure he just meant- like you said, sometime in the future he'd like to marry you."

Zayn had just pulled his phone away from his ear to check the planes schedule again when there was a tapping on his window making him jump and turn only to be met with Louis.

"I've gotta go mum he's here." Zayn breathed trying to calm himself again.

"Okay Zayn, I'll pick the twins up from school and bring them bye at about two." and just like that it was him and Louis.

Louis and his beautiful blue eyes, cheerful smile and his laugh. Louis eyes were crinkled by his eyes and the sound of his laughter was softly coming through the car doors and he made his way to the boot of the SUV and threw his suit cases in, then made his way over to the passenger side. 

"Should you even be driving? Ya know broken bones an all?" He smiled softly as he slowly leaned over the center consul and gently grabbed Zayn's jaw turning his head to face him. 

He inspected the fading yellowish bruising on Zayn's face as he gently ran his thumb over his jaw. Zayn's eyes fluttered shut and he leaned in to Louis' touch. 

"I missed you babe." Louis almost whispered looking at Zayn with wide blue eyes "M'sorry I couldn't be here when you needed me."

Zayn smiled shaking his head "It's okay, I'm fine everything's okay." he sighed "Now lets get you home, I'm sure you're ready for a shower and a nap."

Louis nodded then leaned in to give Zayn a quick innocent soft peck on his lips "Are the boys gonna be there? I've missed them."

Zayn pulled out onto the road a shook his head "They've got Pre-k til noon then my mum is picking them up. She'll probably drop them off at two."

Louis' smile instantly deflated he was looking forward to seeing his sons, it's been two months. Sure Skype and Facetime were fine but he wanted to be able to hug them as soon as he stepped in to Zayn's house.

"When did they start school? I didn't even know they were in it." 

"They started the week after you left in September and they really like it. Damian likes play time and Elijah loves art, he's  _painted_ a lot of things for you."

"Oh..." Louis noted clearly saddened "I missed their first day of school? Why didn't you all tell me about it when we talked?"

Zayn took his eyes off the road for just a moment to look at Louis' expression, he was bitting his lip and looking down at his fidgeting hands. Zayn sighed resting his cast covered arm on his lap "I guess I just never thought too and I'm sorry about that, I know it's important to you, I have pictures and videos and I can tell you every detail when we get back to mine, and the boys- I guess they didn't say anything because they only wanted to talk about you, they _missed you_." Zayn finished looking over at Louis.

Louis took a deep shuttered breath before nodding his head and tracing random shapes on Zayn's fingertips.

***

You would think going to your boyfriends house, who you've known for ten years, would be easy and maybe it is for some people. But for Louis, it's not. 

Louis already had the route to Zayn's house memorized like it's the back of his hand and each turn they took towards the house Louis' heart started hammering out of his chest. 

Louis hadn't even realized they were parked outside of Zayn's house until Zayn opened his door to get out. When Louis made his way inside behind his boyfriend he took the time to look around at the pictures of Zayn and his family and the little art projects the boys had done. He took the time to see every ounce of love Zayn put into that house, the house he bought after Louis tainted their shared flat with  _her._

 _  
_When they had finally made it to Zayn bedroom Louis couldn't help but notice _he_ wasn't anywhere in this house. He wasn't a part of it and that was his fault.

"You've  been quiet since the car ride. what's wrong?" Zayn had noticed the slight distance in the car but thought it was Louis being tired but now he can see it all over his face.

He immediately tried to brush it off "It's stupid, really don't worry."

But Zayn wasn't having it, he walked over to the bed and sat down next to him "You're lying and I can tell, if it's bothering you it's  _not_ stupid. Now tell me." he pressed grabbing Louis left hand with his right and placing it in his lap.

"I'm not here. I'm nowhere in this house and I  _know_ that's my fault but it sucks ya know? And I know you don't want to and that you think it's two early but I really want us to move into a new house together and start new memories. We don't have to start looking now but I really think the sooner the better. I don't like being away from the boys and us going back and forth between my house and your house, in it's self, is difficult especially for you." 

Zayn couldn't help but smile at Louis nervousness, it meant this was important to him and that a rejection would completely gut him.

"I just want to do this the right way, yeah. You, me, Damian and Elijah. I want us to start living our lives as a family. I wasn't kidding or being dramatic when I said I eventually want to marry you. I meant every fucking word of that."

Louis turned his whole body to face Zayn and cupped his face in his hands so he couldn't turn away. "I. Fucking. Love. You." He smiled as Zayn's eyes became wide and glossed over and leaned in to kiss him.  _Softly_. The feel of Zayn's soft plump lips on Louis thin ones sent shivers up both of their spines. Zayn grabbed the back of Louis' neck to pull him closer as if that was possible and only resulted in Louis pushing him to lay down on the bed. 

Their lips didn't detach for a second as Louis kneeled and crawled forward to compensate for Zayns lying back and they didn't detach as Louis moved to straddle Zayn. The kiss grew hungry and more passionate as time moved on and eventually Louis moved his hands to start unbuttoning Zayns shirt. He was four buttons down when the alarm chimed meaning a door was opened and Zayn quickly sat up knocking his forehead against Louis' sending the older lad rolling off to the side and clutching his head.

"Shit. What time- it's already  _two thirty_?" Zayn whispered sharply struggling to button his  when he heard the familiar pitter patter of the twins feet running down the hall towards his room.

The door flew open and Damian and Elijah didn't miss a beat rushing over to the bed and climbing it to get to their dad.

"Dad!" The both chanted repeatedly as they both climbed which Zayn thought was weird since they call him  _daddy_ but decided not to say anything about it. So he adjusted himself and opened his arms only for both boys to crawl passed him and throw themselves on an unprepared Louis' chest.

"Dad, your home I missed you!" Elijah said first wrapping his tiny arms around Louis' neck.

"I missed you too dad. Don't leave long next time please!" Damian pouted moving his brother out of the way so he could sit in Louis' lap. 

While Louis was freaking out over the simple fact that a) his sons were finally in front of him for him to hug and hold and kiss and b) Damian called him dad for the first time in front of him; Zayn couldn't help the look of hurt that made it's way on to his face as he looked up and his mum who was standing in the door way.

Tricia put her hand out in front of her signaling for Zayn to come over to her and when he did she wrapped her arms around him.

"Don't take it too hard love, they've seen you everyday for the last two months not Louis they still love you." she assured him

He didn't respond just nodded and watched all three of his boys interact with each other. He'd never seen Damian so open with Louis before it surprised him in a good way. Damian was constantly worried that he was going to leave and not come back like Alex did so he thinks that maybe Louis coming back made Damian let his walls down a bit. 

 

***

Later that night after Tricia had gone home and the boys were bathed and in bed, Louis and Zayn were sat on Zayns sofa watching crap t.v. Well, they weren't really watching it, they were talking and stealing kisses, the t.v. was the last thing on their minds.

"So what do you have planned for the month you're here?" Zayn asked breathless as he pulled back from their kiss.

Louis stretched and yawned trying to remember what exactly he and One Direction have to do. "We've got a few events here and there and I've got a charity match that 'm pretty excited for." 

"Family time?" he responded quirking and eyebrow

"Planned a trip to me mum's a week before we leave for Paris, I meant to tell you about it. I was hoping you'd all come  _with me_?" he smiled his signature smile with his eyes crinkled.

"O-of course." he hadn't expected that and he's not really sure why it shocked him so much but it did.

Louis chortled shaking his head and lied his head in Zayn's lap "There's always gonna be family time from now on. You and the boys are my first priority and I don't care if it's only a spelling test, if I'm away I want to know about it. If you've done something massive at your work I want to know about it. I want to be completely involved."

That's how they spent the night, talking and making plans of things for them to do while Louis' in town for the next month. As far as they knew there was nothing to worry about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [So this was my attempt at a fluffy chapter, everyone knows I'm not good at that, so yeah. 
> 
> Predictions on what this next month is going to be like for them? and Damian actually called him dad! This is a huge deal.
> 
>  
> 
> xA ]


	28. Quality Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lolI forgot about updating on here so enjoy two chapters. you're almost caught up with wattpad :)

Louis woke up fifteen minutes before Zayns alarm the next morning, he'd planned that. He saw Zayn set his alarm for 6:30 so he set his for 6:15 and really this could go horribly wrong or amazingly well.

Louis slowly untangles himself from Zayn, unwrapping his arms and slowly pulling his leg from it's position between his, and slowly and so  _very_ quietly makes his way to Zayns nightstand and quickly turns of his alarm.  _No passcode_ , Louis thinks.  _Very risky_. 

He stays there for a moment admiring how with Zayn laying there no trace of worry on his face he looks younger. Lips slightly open and soft puffs of air escaping them, his face is completely relaxed and Louis thinks...No. Louis  _knows_ he wants to see this every- _fucking_ -day for the rest of his life. 

Anyway, Louis tiptoes out of the room and makes his way towards the twins room and when he pushes the door open to find Damian lying on the very edge of Elijahs bed almost as if he tried to squeeze himself in without waking up his younger twin, Louis isn't surprised. He isn't really sure how to wake them up, should he shake their shoulders, rub their backs or making just softly call their names. 

He decides to do a combination of the three, softly calling their names as he begins to rub their backs and when he reaches their shoulders he gives them a slight shake.

Damian is the first to wake up panic clear on his face until his eyes focus and he calms down. Louis just smiles at him and has to bite his cheek to stop himself from shedding a tear when Damian lets out a drowsy 'Dad." sitting up with his arms stretched out and waiting for Louis to pick him up. 

As Louis moves to sit on the edge of the bed Elijah begins to stir reaching a hand back as if looking for his brother and his face crumples when he doesn't find them, a whine coming from the back of his throat. 

It does something to Damian though, the whine, and with out hesitation he crawls out of his dads lap and kneels behind Elijah patting his arm.

"It's kay 'lijah. 'M here, dad too."

And Louis heart swells seeing his sons care for each other so deeply. 

***

Eventually and after a battle for Damian to wear his hair down an a bit fluffy instead of quiffed how Zayn has obviously been doing it for so long, the boys are sat in the backseat of Louis' car and headed off to school. 

"Dad," Elijah asks quietly "why didn't daddy come? He always wakes us up." he finishes with a tilt of his head that Louis finds adorable, it's like looking at him self... over twenty years ago. 

"Daddy's been busy working a lot and waking up early to take care of you because he loves you so much, but he's sleepy and just like he lets you sleep late on the weekends I decided to let him sleep late today."

Damian and Elijah appear to want to question him about it but after a quick glance at each other the question is gone and they're back to smiling mumbling to whatever song is coming through the speakers and messing up almost all of the words. 

Louis wouldn't trade this in for anything. 

***

 

 It was soft kisses and the mumbled whisper of his name that woke Zayn up. He shifted in his sleep instinctively turning his body towards the voice. His brain hadn't even really registered who was speaking to him but he couldn't stop his body from molding around the source of it. 

"Zayn," the voice whispered again "babe, c'mon it's time to get up."

"Mm s'not m'alarm didn't go off." Zayn rasped back.

"It's nine Z." 

Zayn snapps awake then, it's nine, and fuck the boys have missed school and their going to be upset because today was the day they were going to be able to bring their art projects home and they were so excited for it.

Louis watched Zayn moan and groan as he shifted around on the bed in turmoil for a minute before putting an end to his suffering by pressing a kiss to the spot where Zayns jaw meets his throat. 

"It's okay, I dressed them, fed them and took them to school, even walked them inside and watched them put their backpacks in their cubbies. I almost cried." he couldn't help but smile remembering how excited the boys looked to just be there and the fact that Zayn might be staring at him with wide eyes and his jaw slack might have something to do with it aswell. 

It takes Zayn a bit to get his vocal chords to corporate with his brain and what he wants to say but eventually he does and it's not at all what Louis expected him to say, "I love you." hell, Zayns not sure that's what he wanted to say either but it works. And the fact that Louis is smiling so wide that his eyes crinkle and are reduced to tiny slits well that's good then. 

***

There's flour all over the floor and Zayn is laughing so hard that his face hurts, it actually aches to the point where he wants to cry, but the need to laugh is so much stronger. 

He's reminded for a brief second of what it felt like to be in high school and in love with Louis. It was exhilarating. It was addicting and it was everything he needed. 

It's everything he needs. 

He snapped out of his thoughts by Louis grabbing his ankle and yanking his feet out from under him so he falls on to the floor right next to him and they both erupt in a fit of giggles that has Louis chest raising and falling quickly and his shoulders shaking. 

Louis gaze falls to Zayns Adams apple and he admires the way it moves under the skin and how the skin looks smooth to the touch . His eyes fall the the dip of Zayns collar bones and he's tempted to lick them simply because he can and the faint memory of how Zayns back used to arch off the bed when he did it makes Louis' laughter stop instantly. 

The pancake batter on the counter and flour on the floor is quickly forgotten and Louis stops moving. Zayn is still laughing and Louis wants to shut him up, wants him to stop laughing so he can see if he feels what Louis feels in the air. It's different, something is new and he can't quite place it but he knows it's good, he can feel it in his bones. 

So he kisses Zayn, flattens him against the floor and Zayn is still laughing. He runs his hand up Zayns side, over his chest, knuckles brush his neck and firmly grasps his hair... and Zayn is still laughing its reduced to a giggle but fact is, he's laughing and Louis wants him to shut up. 

So Louis bits down on his soft plump lower lip earning a gasp from Zayn and slowly tugs on it letting it slip painfully slow through the grasp and no... no Zayn is definitely not laughing anymore. No. Zayn is staring up and him with wide eyes and a firm hold on Louis' hips; all it would take is a quick tug on Louis' hips and Zayn would be over,  _ruined_. Louis pupils are blown with only a thin ring of blue surrounding it and it's only exciting Zayn more.

Louis was about to lean down and take this so much further when the,  _oh so_ , embarrassing ringtone he has set for the lovely  _Harry Styles_  starts to ring. Instantly the moment is ruined and Zayn starts humming along to it while Louis blindly slaps his hand on the marble counter top looking for it.

' _...life in plastic, it's fantastic..._ '

And Zayn is laughing again but Louis doesn't mind so much right now.


	29. Blowjobs and Award Shows

The day after Harry called started off different from others. Louis woken up before everyone and quietly snuck out of Zayns room to check on the twins upstairs.

When he walked in to their shared room he wasn't surprised to see Damian hanging half off Elijah's bed. He gently helped him all the way in to the bed, covered them both with a blanket and pressed kisses to both of their foreheads before turning and closing their door all the way.

He then made his way back down stairs and to the kitchen silently opening and closing cabinets looking for Zayn's wine glasses. Once he found them he went to the refrigerator and got out the orange juice and champagne to make Mimosa's, he wanted to wake Zayn up like he used to before everything went to shit.

☯☯☯

 Zayn woke up and made a choking sound, his hands instantly flew down to grip the sheets around his waist. He couldn't even open his eyes to look and try make sense of what was happening the only thing going through his head was  _yesyesyes._ _  
_

 _  
_After a few more seconds of bliss he finally managed to pry his eyes open and look around noticing to wine glasses filled with orange liquid he automatically assumed were Mimosa's, and felt like he'd traveled back in time.

On the rare occasion Louis had time off he would wake Zayn with Mimosa's and blowj*bs. 

" _Fuck!_ " he hissed as his hips snapped up the motion effectively bringing him back to reality.

He lowered the sheets with shaky hands and shallow breath obviously expecting to see Louis with his lips wrapped around him. But when he finally pulled the sheets from over Louis' head he was met with such an erotic and breathtaking sight. Louis did in fact have his mouth wrapped around Zayns member but it was his wild blown eyes and the fact that he was looking up at Zayn with hollowed cheeks and through his eye lashes with a smirk that had Zayn almost lose it then and there. 

Louis had a firm grip on Zayns thigh while his other hand rested on Zayns stomach rubbing almost soft circles in to his with his fingers. Zayn slowly rocked his hips to match Louis' mouth and each time he hit the back of his throat or he looked down and his eyes met Louis' he had harshly to bite down on his lip to stop himself from finishing.

Eventually the pull in his gut and the overwhelming feeling of love he was getting from Louis became to much and he finished, Louis licked up every drop.  

After spending a few more minutes gently kissing his way up from Zayns thighs to his lips, Louis reached over to the bedside table and handed Zayn a Mimosa. 

"What- " Zayn sighed taking another moment to collect himself "what was that for?"

"Just giving you a bit of something I've wanted to for a while now. I love you Z." he mumbled leaning over again and softly kissing Zayn's lips.

Zayn laughed quietly as he adjusted himself so that he was leaning against his cushioned brown leather headboard. "So, this has nothing to do with you having to attend an event that Eleanor is a host at?" 

Louis lifted his free hand in surrender sadly smiling at Zayn "Yes and no?  I've wanted our relationship to progress and this is the next step  _and_ I figured giving you a little positive reassurance before I have to leave wouldn't hurt either huh?"

"Mmhmmm, sure sure." Zayn whispered setting his glass down and looking at the clock that read 7:43am before turning to Louis and smirking "I say, we've got another hour  _tops_ before our kids burst through that door." 

☯☯☯

 

 Zayn spent the day after Louis left running around the house with the boys, playing hide-and-seek, painting, drawing, really anything they wanted to do Zayn did... in return for them eating  _all_ of their peaches and broccoli with their lunches. 

Now though, the boys were at his mums home baking brownies and cupcakes for their schools bake sale and Zayn... well Zayn was glued to his t.v. watching the red carpet of the event Louis was at. Eleanor and her co-host, some tall pale skinned blonde girl he knew Niall would want nowhere near Harry, were all smiles and over the top laughs. Ed Sheeran and Alexa Chung had already made their way in excited to bid on items where all the proceeds go to different charities.

' _Oh! Looks who's coming our way El, it's One Direction and they're looking quite fit- especially Harry Styles.'_ Blondie said 

Zayn didn't even bother trying to contain his eye-roll "If only you knew what blonde actually gets a piece of th-"

He was cut off by Eleanor, oh joy, inviting the lads on stage. It was okay at first both girls to the right and the lads to the left until Eleanor got the bright- _fucking_ -idea to walk across the platform and stand next to Louis. Zayn absentmindedly clinched his left first and turned up the volume with his right.

' _The new album **Over Again** comes out soon, what's you're favorite song on it?' _The blonde, Zayn still couldn't be bothered to remember her name, asked.

Louis looked to the other lads before smirking a bit and leaning to the side towards Eleanor's microphone.

' _There's a song called ' **So Contagious** ' I wrote with Liam and Harry and it really means a lot to me._'

Eleanor leaned closer, a little too close for Zayns liking, and said  _'Give us a line then_.' It wasn't a question so Louis looked off camera- probably towards management to get their approval- and nodded.

' _When I'm around you I'm predictable_

_Cause I believe in loving you with first sight_

_I know it's crazy but I'm hoping to.._

_To take a hold of you_ ' His voice was smooth as he quietly sung the snippet of the song.

Niall, Liam and Harry, co-signed that this was also one of their favorite songs off the album and mentioned a few other titles. The interview had been going well so far, Eleanor hadn't touched Louis hadn't let her eyes linger on him for too long, it was fine, but then while Liam was explaining his reasons for choosing the song he picked... she cut him off.

That was step one towards Zayn losing his shit.

 _Then_ , she turned her whole body towards Louis with grin leaning in to him and said ' _Hmm, sounds like you had to have someone as soon as you saw them, reminds me of when we met._ '

There goes step two towards Zayn losing his shit. He shifted on his sofa moving to sit on his knees and leaned forward a bit as if that was going to help him see better. 

' _Remember how we met Lou, at the diner all those years ago._ ' She batted her eyelashes and intertwined her arm with his and leaned in quickly to kiss his cheek.

Ah, there's step three, he gritted his teeth and threw the remote across the room sending it smashing in to the wall. It probably broke but at this point Zayn didn't notice nor did he care.

He watched as Louis quickly shrugged her off and stepped to the left away from her, he was at a loss for words that after everything that's happened since they'd broken up that she thought she had any sort of right to kiss him, let alone  _touch_ him.

' _This song has **nothing** to do with you. None of the songs have anything to do with  **you**. This song- from my point of view- is about Zayn, I knew from the moment he walked in to my homeroom that I was going to love him.'_  he paused and turned to the camera ' _I love you Zayn Malik and you too Damian and Elijah, see you later.'_ and without even sparing a glance at Eleanor or anyone else he walked of the platform the other lads following after him.

Zayn smiled and bit his lip to stop himself from saying it back to the t.v. . His anger was instantly gone after hearing Louis admit he loved him on television although, he couldn't stop glaring at Eleanor. He did enjoy her flustered expression though.

He had been worried all day, even though every time Louis asked to make sure he was okay, that Louis had even the tiniest bit of feelings left for her still. He'd been worried that as soon as Louis saw her in person for the first time in years that -that'd be it, he'd leave and it'd be just Zayn and his boys again. 

This was all the confirmation he need though seeing Louis deny her and her advances with his own eyes. Louis was in love with him and Eleanor was still the same ol'  _slag_  from the diner. 

 ☯☯☯

Louis was planning on actually going back to his house after the event because he'd run out of clothes to wear and no matter how comfortable you are at someones house it never feels quite like home. It doesn't have your pictures, your furniture, your  _vibe_. Zayn wasn't having it though he told him that he could go home tomorrow if he really needed to but tonight, he need to see him- he had something he really wanted to tell him.

So at just after one in the morning when Louis made his way in to Zayns house he walked in to the lounge room where he heard the soft mumbles of the t.v. . He smiled seeing Zayn sprawled out on the couch blanket clutched tight against his chest and walked over to pressed a kiss to his forehead and carry him to bed. 

 Once Louis was stripped down to his boxers he climbed in to bed behind Zayn and wrapped his arms around him after he settled into a comfortable position he pleased feather-light kisses to the back of Zayns neck on his Fantail bird tattoo.

Zayn stirred in his sleep turning to look at Louis with a sleepy smile on his face that made Louis' heart skip a beat. Zayn always had this affect on him ever since he saw him that day when he was fifteen and everything stopped, he couldn't even hear Stan who had been talking to him before at that moment it was just  _him_. 

"I saw you on telly today." he mumbled

"I figured you'd be watching love." he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Zayns lips "I love you."

"Mmhmm love you too. I was thinking earlier about what you asked when we got home from our date."

Louis immediately perked up at that remembering what he'd asked Zayn that night.

"I think it's a good idea that we should buy a house to be our  _home_ , you, me and the boys."

Louis stared at him because yeah he knew Zayn would say yes, eventually, but he didn't expect it to be today and as if it was the easiest decision in the world.

He couldn't help himself when he lunged forward and pressed his lips to Zayns moving his lips feverishly and shivering when he responded and wrapped his arms around his neck pulling him so he was laying on top of him.

Louis broke this kiss for a moment and cupped Zayns face in his hands he opened his mouth to speak but Zayn beat him to it.

"I love you  _Tomlinson_." he smirked

"I love you too..." he paused wondering if he should say what he really wanted to "I fucking love you  _soon-to-be_ Tomlinson."

Zayn starred at Louis mouth agape not believe what he'd just heard.

"You've gotta match the rest of us eventually babe." Louis smirked leaning down to reattach his lips to Zayns in a heated kiss.

☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯

 

_[The song mentioned in this chapter is on the side or the top it's called **'So Contagious' by Acceptance** , it's one of my favorites! I've been M.I.A. for so long and I'm sorry. I moved and had a massive fucking case of writers block. I've started writing, just a little bit, for the prequel to this story about their relationship before Eleanor and I'm thinking each chapter will be a year of their relationship- so it'll be really short. _

_Anyways, how'd you like the chapter? Are you ready for a Zouis house AND there was a hint of smut... it was awful but I tried, be nice to me!_

_I love yall_

_please leave me lovely comments and vote :) It means a lot to me!_

_xA]_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [The song mentioned in this chapter is called 'So Contagious' by Acceptance, it's one of my favorites! I've been M.I.A. for so long and I'm sorry. I moved and had a massive fucking case of writers block. I've started writing, just a little bit, for the prequel to this story about their relationship before Eleanor and I'm thinking each chapter will be a year of their relationship- so it'll be really short. 
> 
> Anyways, how'd you like the chapter? Are you ready for a Zouis house AND there was a hint of smut... it was awful but I tried, be nice to me!
> 
> I love yall
> 
> please leave me lovely comments :) It means a lot to me!
> 
> xA]


	30. Re-meet the Family

They'd taken the drive from London to Doncaster plenty of times before but today was different. Today wasn't just Louis and Zayn taking a drive because Louis was feeling homesick.

Today was Louis and Zayn taking their children to meet a part of the family they'd never seen, except for that one time at their birthday party where Jay, Lottie and Fizzy came.

Today they're meeting Daisy and Phoebe, the first twins they'll ever see in person, and Doris and Ernest another set of twins who aren't much younger than them.

Today is a huge deal and and Zayn is losing his mind while Louis is just sat in the drivers seat chatting away with Damian and Elijah about the greatness of  ** _Spiderman_**  like it's  _nothing_.

"-all Batman has is money! But don't tell your Uncle Liam this because he'll lose it. Now boys who's better  ** _Spiderman_** or Batman?"

Zayn turned towards the backseat to watch the boys as they sent sneaky glances and smirked at each other, he already knew what they were going to say so he turned back to watch Louis.

"BATMAN!" They yelled in unison making Louis flinch and glare at Zayn

"You've ruined my children, my poor babies don't have a proper education! What have you taught them?" He rushed out staring at Zayn before looking back at the road in front of him.

"They like what they like. Elijah likes Spiderman though although I am slightly worried with how much he likes Venom more..." he trailed off glancing at his son in the backseat who was catching grapes his brother was throwing at him. 

"S'always the quiet ones you gotta watch out for." Louis whispered sneaking a glance back at the boys "They always sneak up on you." he finished, but by the way he was looking at him, Zayn knew he wasn't talking about Elijah anymore.

"Daaaaad!" Damian whined kicking the back of Louis' seat "You not listening to me! M'saying will Grandmum make cookies like nan? 'Cos, if no... we don't like her."

" _Damian William_! Don't you say that! That is your grandmum and that's Louis' mum and you will love her just as much as my mum!" Zayn hissed turning to look his son sending him a glare to let him know he'd better  _shut it_.

"Don't yell at him daddy. Damian didn't mean it, right D? Yous jus messin, yeah?" Elijah pushed becoming visibly upset not just from his father yelling but also because his car seat was too far away to reach his brother.

 Louis sat up further in his seat looking back and forth between the road and the rear view mirror not knowing what to do in the situation. Parenting was still so new to him and he didn't want to say the wrong thing and go against what Zayn has instilled in the last four years. 

He saw where Zayn was coming from, Damian shouldn't have said that about his mum, but he also understood that he was just joking around. He wanted to tell him that it wasn't a big deal, that he said those types of things all the time when he was younger but he couldn't bring himself to say it. He felt that even if he his their father he was over stepping his boundaries and this was all still too new so he didn't want to ruin it. 

 Zayn turned around and noticed Louis discomfort but decided not to bring it up. they'd talk about it later.

 

**☯☯☯**

 

As soon as they pulled up in front of the house all five or Louis' sisters ran out followed by his brother, Dan and his mum. They ran up to the SUV and threw open the back doors stunning the two boys in the back. Zayn, knowing his sons ability to  _quickly_ freak out, turned around and reassured them that these were their aunts, uncle Grandmum and Grandpa.

"Damian! Elijah! Come. come!" Daisy yelled undoing Elijahs car seat "I'm your Aunt Daisy but you can call me Daisy I'm the nice one, everyone else... they're peasants." she whispered winking at Louis and pulling the younger boy out of the car. 

 

**☯☯☯**

 

 **  
**They had just finished a lovely dinner Jay and Lottie made, when they decided to watch a movie in the living room. Elijah and Doris picked _Toy Story_ _4_ so Louis took Zayn upstairs with him to get it while they left everyone downstairs, he said it was for a tour but he really just wanted to talk to Zayn for a moment. The Bradford  _love-of-his-life_ had been strangely quiet since they arrived and he just wanted to make sure he was okay. 

As soon as they stepped in to the upstairs game room Louis quietly shut the door and walked over to Zayn, who was bent over looking through the _DVD_ s- and wrapped his arms around his waist. 

Zayn instinctively leaned back pressing himself against Louis and sighed. "What's wrong Lou?"

"I should be asking you that." Louis chuckled lightly squeezing Zayn tighter making the younger almost purr.

"It's nothing really... s'just so much has change since I've been here. I hadn't met Doris and Ernest until today and Phoebe barely remembers me. I knew it'd be different but not so different," he mumbled stopping to take a quick breath "You think Damian and Elijah are okay? I got the movie we should go back now..."

Louis grabbed Zayns hand stopping him from walking to the door "H-hey babe, it's okay! They're fine it's like they've been around my family their whole lives, I just wanna make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine... just nervous it's like meeting the parents all over again. I keep thinking your mum is gonna come up to me with a scowl on her face saying we need to talk and then tell me how much she doesn't approve of us dating and blah blah I'm such a fucking teenager." Zayn laughed realizing he may have over reacted and let his nerves get the best of him. 

"Honestly if anything it'd be my mum scolding you about why you're dating a  _twat_  like me. She always chewed me out every time I came for a visit after we... well you know." he smiled sitting on Doris's little pink chair "I don't know why that girl's in my living room like she was invited, I sure as hell know I didn't invite her. I don't know why you would do something so stupid. Zayn was such a nice boy, I'm so disappointed in you.' Well... ya know."

Zayn kneeled down in front of him and rested a hand on his knee "Can we not... like can we not talk about  _that_ , I don't wanna think about that stuff anymore. Kinda kills the mood."

"Ye-"

"Zayn!!! Louis!!! Hurry c'mere hurry!" Jay screamed from downstairs.

Louis quickly jumped up yanking Zayn up and out door with him. They were running so fast thinking one of the boys were hurt they almost fell down the stairs. Only when they got downstairs both panting heavily hands on their knees trying to catch their breath, the boys were no where in sight. Neither were Doris, Ernest, Phoebe or Daisy.

"W-what happened? Where are the boys?" Zayn panted finally getting his head to stop spinning.

"We had Daisy and Phoebe take the kids out of the room they're getting fruit snacks. Something came on the news and Zayn love, we think you should see it. Now before I press play I want you to know that no one in this room believes anything being said, okay?"

 Zayn couldn't even speak all the possibilities of what could be on the news about  _him_ went through his head. He wasn't a celebrity he wasn't  _out_ there in the public eye, so the idea of him being on the news for something that wasn't related to how well he put together someones outfit was beyond him. 

 Dan let out a breath of air and pressed play on the remote.

" _Zayn Malik, father of two and boyfriend of_ _ **Louis Tomlinson**  _ _of One Direction, a substance abuser_?" A middle-aged man Zayn had never seen before spoke.

"What the fuck?" Louis growled while Zayn just remained speechless.

" _Eleanor Calder took to social media last night to vent about an incident involving her former boyfriends...boyfriend. It started with her tweeting about how she and Louis met and how their relationship progressed then She said, ' **The first time I ever went to L's flat there were spliff wrappers all over Z's**_ **dressers.** _' She continued saying ' **There were even remnants of what appeared to be MDMA or blow. Not saying he does drugs now but he for sure did back then.** ' No one can say for sure if these allegations are true or not being that Miss Calder suffered a huge blow to her ego on the red carpet of a charity even she hosted. It is something that will definitely be looked in to_ though." 

And just like that the segment moved on to something about Lorde finally marrying that old man of a boyfriend and Zayns heart still wasn't beating properly.  _  
_

"Mum you have to know-"

"Louis  _I_ know this isn't true, Dan knows, the girls know your friends know and so does Zayns family but everyone else whose been against you from the beginning doesn't. They're going believe everything Eleanor said until someone says or does something to prove her wrong."

"How can we prove her wrong for something she's saying happened four years ago mum?" Louis asked pulling Zayn in to his arms and holding him tightly. "She's only doing this because I embarrassed her last week!"

Zayn was angry and hurt, he'd never done  _anything_ to this girl, yet here she was for the - _who knows what time_ \- trying to ruin his life. She was the one the put ideas in to his boyfriends head, she was the one who willing pursued a relationship with his boyfriend, she's the one who ruined a relationship only so she could pursue and acting career and then leave him like it was nothing. 

"I've...I haven't done anything to her. I haven't gone and told people everything she's done to me. Everyone thinks we broke up and you moved on quickly. Why does she think she can do this to me? I have kids! She's making people think I'm putting my kids in danger!" Zayn finally spat hatefully with hot tears rolling down his face. 

"Ignore her." Dan said as he stood and made his way over to Zayn . He grabbed Zayn by the shoulders and dipped down to lock eyes with him. "DOn't let someone like her control how you live or how you feel. You know it isn't true, as do the people who truly care about you. Don't give her the attention she's clearly seeking. She's embarrassed because Louis put her in her place and she's trying to drag you down with her. You are better than she will ever be.  _Now_ ," Dan smiled clapping his hands "I believe we have a movie to watch."

"It's not that simple Dan." 

"It is Jay, it really is. Don't feed in to Eleanor's bullshit." and with that he took off towards the kitchen to get the rest of the kids.

Jay walked over to Zayn and cupped his face while pressing a kiss to his forehead "We love you Zayn. Lets not let her ruin our weekend, it's been such a nice time let's enjoy the rest of our time together before all my babies leave me again."

Zayn nodded agreeing that ignoring lame attempt at publicity was the best choice. He wasn't going to let her drag him down like she had all those years ago.

"Dad!" Damian yelled running and wrapping his arms and legs around Louis' legs making Zayn laugh. "Dad, Ernie is the bestest like he has a Batman costume like Uncle Lamb  _and_ he knows how to ride a bike already!" 

"Yeah and Dori likes to make cookies with grandmum like me and nan!" Elijah mumbled excitedly pulling on Zayns jumper signaling that he wanted to be picked up. "Will Grandmum make stuff with me too?" he whispered leaning up to Zayns ear.

"She'd love too." Zayn whispered back.

This, being around his family, Louis, Elijah and Damian along with Louis' family was already helping him forget about Eleanor and her attempt at revenge. 

**☯☯☯**

 

They were an hour in to the movie when Louis intertwined his fingers with Zayns and bought his hands to his lip and placed a kiss on his knuckles. "I love you so much." he whispered kissing Zayns shoulder lightly.

Zayn smiled turning to look at Louis whose eyes were half closed "I love you too Lou."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [I am so sorry for the wait. I've had the worst case of writers block so this probably wasn't the best... and yeah sorry. I was talking to the lovely Lyssa today and she helped me decide something that will come in to play later so ;)
> 
> SO Eleanor.... jealousy is not a cute look on you hunny. Luckily Louis' family knew it was all bullshit and wise Dan gave the right advice. Anyways house shopping in the next chapter and a time jump after that. 
> 
> I don't know how many chapters are left in this book. But I can feel myself starting to think of an ending. So yeah Maybe we'll reach 40 chapters maybe 45 but I don't think more than that. :O
> 
> @fuckoffZOUIS follow me on twitter por favor :)
> 
> xA]


	31. Thirteen

"Hey Zayn?" Zayn looked up to see Jay smiling down at him as he tied Elijah's shoes so he could go play outside. "Can I talking to you for a minute once everyone's outside?"  
  
Zayn nodded standing up and helping his son in to his jacket. "Yea 'course, just let me walk him out."  
  
She nodded and went to the kitchen to make them both a cup of tea and take out some biscuits. She had just set everything out on the table when Zayn walked back inside shrugging off his jacket.  
  
"Wow, you made tea... must be serious."  
  
She sighed sitting down motioning for Zayn to do so as well, "I just wanted to talk to you, make sure your heads in the right place, you know? Just if you've taken my son back because you have kids with him... that's not a good reason. I don-"  
  
"No, no I know." Zayn smiled cutting her off knowing that she was coming from the right place. "My mum talked to me about this when I was dating Alex. She said 'don't try to be with someone just because you're looking for a father for your kids. Be with someone because you love them with all your heart and because they're good to your kids.'"  
  
Jay smiled taking a sip of her tea "Your mum has always been one of my favorite people. She's got a good head on her shoulders and raised four beautiful kids."  
  
"Wasn't easy but I'd like to think she's proud of us."  
  
"She is Zayn, she is." she paused finding her words "So, after all Louis has put you through... you want to be with him?"  
  
Zayn nodded "I do. I love him." he smiled looking out of the window to see Damian and Elijah playing with Louis and all their Aunts and Uncles, it warmed his heart.  
  
  
  
  
  
☯☯☯  
  
  
  
When Zayn and his family arrived back to London that next day Louis was shuttled off to a book signing and Zayn took Elijah and Damian with him to job fitting a new client who, thankfully, didn't mind that he brought his kids with him.  
  
Louis signed over seven-hundred books that day and poor Zayn had to deal with an actress who refused to give her true measurements which made their day so much longer and harder than it needed to be.  
  
So when all four of the Tomlinson/Malik family arrived to Louis' house at almost midnight that night, the boys were immediately tucked in to bed while their parents retreated to Louis' steam shower.  
  
Zayn got in first loving the way the hot water hit him from all different angles and helped his tense muscles relax. He was completely zoned out when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist instantly making him tense and wrap his arms around himself.   
  
"Hey...hey..." Louis soothed pressing a soft kiss to the back of Zayns neck and then to his shoulder before turning him around. "Don't do that. Don't be tense, don't try to hide yourself from me. "   
  
"It- it's just hard I guess. " He whispered leaning forward to rest his head on Louis' shoulder "I haven't felt confident in so long."  
  
"That's my fault." Louis rested one hand on Zayns hip and one caressed his face, his thumb softly grazing his cheek "You. Are. Beautiful Zayn. So fucking beautiful."  
  
His words were strong yet hushed as he leaned forward more and ghosted his lips over Zayns. The air in the already hot shower became ten times hotter as Zayn closed the space between them.   
  
The soft, innocent kiss quickly turned heated as Zayn impatiently whimpered in to his blue eyed lovers mouth. Louis' arms were wrapped around him trailing gentle lines on his bare back- shoulder to the small of his back- following the drops of water.   
  
His hands hesitated for a moment, as his kiss moved from Zayns plump lips to his chiseled jaw then to his neck, trying to see if he was reading the situation right. When Zayn whined at the sudden standstill Louis knew.   
  
He moved his hands down to give Zayns bum a tight squeeze before grabbing the back of his thighs making him jump up and wrap his legs around Louis' waist.   
  
Louis pressed him against the warm shower wall and rapidly rejoined their lips together making him hum in satisfaction.   
  
They hadn't been able to kiss or feel each other like this in so long, Zayns body felt as though he were on fire.   
  
The feel of Louis' lips on his- on his skin. The feel of Louis' hands touching him, the thrill of being the first time they've seen sad other like this, completely exposed, in over four years. Things have change, the muscle tones, the number of tattoos and the their skin being less tan than they had grown used to in their younger years.   
  
Before Zayn could register exactly what was happening, Louis was stepping out of the shower, into the room and gently laying him down on the king sized bed.   
  
Yes they were doing this. Zayn could feel the desire in his stomach aching for Louis to fill him.   
  
"I love you Zayn, so much." Louis whispered against his lips as he began to slowly work Zayn open.   
  
"I love you too Lou " he gasped in response gripping the white sheets of Louis' bed.   
  
A few moments later Zayn was literally yanking Louis' fingers out of him and begging for him to be inside of him. So Louis did- slowly line himself up with Zayns ready hole and tease the outside only slipping in when Zayn wrapped his legs around his waist and closed what little distance was left.   
  
It was pretty much a blur after that. Louis fxcked into him rapidly then slowly and fast again, drawling out the process, both to Zayns pleasure and displeasure. Zayn wanted to come- wanted the thrill that came along with it- but he also wanted this to last forever.   
  
It had been four years since he'd felt this... this type of pure passion and ecstasy.  
  
And eventually he can't hold on anymore.   
  
"L-Lou fuck Louis!" He yells and then pants in to the older lads mouth.   
  
"Mhm c'mon love let it go." He called out pounding in and out of him at an insane rate, Zayn was sure to be sore for a few days. "Come for me Z, just like old times c'mon!" He wailed pressing fervent kisses to Zayns chest, neck and jaw as he came.   
  
Zayn followed shortly after with a high moan, constant mutterings of Louis' name and his nails leaving their mark on Louis' back.   
  


☯☯☯

It took a while for each of them to catch their breaths, they were completely blissed out. Louis was lying on his back staring at the ceiling and carding his fingers through Zayns damp hair while Zayn was draped across his chest tracing patterns into his side. 

"Louis? Can I ask you a question and you'll be completely honest with me?" Zayn asked nervously as he lifted his head to look up and Louis. 

Louis furrowed his brow a bit looking down at Zayn trying to figure out why he was now so tense "Yeah baby, course."

Zayn looked back down running his fingers over Louis' ribs before sitting up and getting out of bed. Louis caught his wrist and pulled him back down,

"What is it Z?"

"Nothing, forget about it. I don't really want to know." Zayn stammered out still trying to get up and out of bed.

"It's not nothing though." Louis sighed crawling towards Zayn who was sat on the edge of the bed "it's upsetting you and I wanna know what it is." he wrapped his arms around Zayns waist and pulled him against his chest. 

He sighed melting against Louis and lacing their fingers together "It's so stupid though, why would I want to know this? It's only gonna upset me and it doesn't matter anymore."

"Babe really, what is it?"

"How many people have you slept with?" he blurted instantly regretting it when Louis untangled himself from Zayn and sat next to him, not touching him and his hands clasped together in his lap.

"O-oh." Louis squeaked. He knew at some point Zayn would want to know this, it's something all couples should know about each other and if not how many partners they had then at least that they used protection with each of them. Sexual history is a serious issue.

"I told you," Zayn whispered "let's just ignore it and move on." he stood and tried to make his way to the bathroom where the shower was still running but Louis pulled him back down, again.

"No it's fine, we need to talk about it." He paused to gather his thoughts "It's nothing to boast about."

"I already know about three, me, Eleanor and Harry. How many more were there?"

"It's not as much as you're probably thinking but still more than you wanna know about... umm. I've slept with thirteen people."

Zayn sighed in relief because yes, he was thinking that it was going to be a lot more than that. He was thinking high twenties low thirties, so thirteen... thirteen was something he could eventually get over.

"O-okay."

"And I used protection everytime." Louis added

"Wouldn't wanna get someone pregnant, huh?" Zayn chuckled quietly

Louis looked at him wide eyed for a moment then tackled Zayn back on to the bed straddling his hips and pinning his hands up by his head.

"The only one who will ever have my babies is  **you**. I'd like you to have my baby _now_  actually but  _someone_ " Louis emphasized rolling his eyes "is on birth control." he sighed and rolled off of Zayn. "Now, time to shower because we're sticky and I don't like it." he laughed hopping off the bed and running off towards the bathroom.

Zayn however was still lying on the bed looking at the ceiling, stunned.

No it wasn't that they'd just had sex- no, made ** _love_**  for the first time in four years. 

No it wasn't that Louis had slept with twelve other people beside him.

Zayn careful, scheduled, planned out Zayn, can't remember the last time he'd taken his birth control. 

 Zayn wanted to scream and freak out but he also didn't want to scare Louis. So he figured when he woke up with next morning, as usual before everyone else, he'd go to the shop and pick up the morning after pill.

Yeah that's it. It'll be,  _okay_...?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ They had sexxxx they did it la la laaaa. I don't write smut, i'm crap at it but I thought I'd try because you wanted it. I know I said house hunting would happen this chapter but I got a new idea :). 
> 
> Two more chapters til yall are caught up with Wattpad.
> 
> byeeee
> 
> xA]


	32. Overdue Talk

Zayn woke up the next morning with his mind set on running to the store, buying the morning after pill, taking said pill and starting on breakfast before any of his boys even thought about walking up.

However, Zayn was woken up even earlier than he expected with a frantic phone call from both his assistant Miranda and the office intern. Miranda, having precedence, was who he decided to call back first.  

She picked up instantly halfway through the first ring "Zayn! Thank God you answered. Mrs. Beckham has been ringing since three am, she's in California and she wouldn't give details but she needs you in L.A. asap. I've got you a reserved first class seat on a 6:30  _am_  flight and if that's too early I also have an eight  _am_  flight available as well. That's really the best I can do sir she wants you there...yesterday."  Miranda rattled off details so quickly she would give a sugar high Damian and run for his money.

"This... this is so last minute Miranda."

"I know Zayn but she's one of our biggest clients and I know you would've killed me if I flat out told her no." 

He groaned knowing she was right "Right, I'll be on the eight  _am_  flight. How many days am I gonna need to be there? Louis leaves for tour again in about two weeks and I'd rather not leave him alone for more than two days."

"Max two or three days sir."

Zayn sighed sitting up in bed slowly so he wouldn't wake Louis who was sleeping peacefully next to him, "Fine, have a car in my front drive in an hour. You and the intern need to come with me." and with that he hung up the phone and flopped back down in to his bed.

Louis stirred turning to face Zayn "So, just me and our mini-me's for a few days then yeah?"

"Yeah." Zayn mumbled before pressing a chaste kiss to Louis' lips "I know you've got an interview today so you can drop them at mums and pick them up after." 

"That's fine, love." Louis could tell from his breathing that Zayn was worried about leaving him alone with Damian and Elijah, not only for the first time but for more than a day. 

"You can leave them at my mums if they get to rowdy for you. I know they can be a bit much to handle sometimes. Just don't y-"

Louis reached out and cupped Zayns face trailing his thumb along his cheek bone "It'll be fine, yeah. I've got six siblings I'll be fine." he leaned down and kissed Zayn sweetly. "Now get up and get packed, I'll wake the boys up."

☯☯☯

It was a long day for Louis. The interviewers were relentless refusing to let the lies Eleanor spread about Zayn rest and it went on for six hours. Skype interview after Skype interview and phone call after phone call. So when Louis pulled up to Tricia's house he let out a sigh of relief. She had invited Louis to stay for dinner so they could talk being that the two of them hadn't had a chance to get reaquainted with one another.

When Tricia opened the door Louis instantly pulled her in to a hug. She had always been a second  mum to him and seeing her in person again bought all those feelings back. 

"C'mon love, the boys are napping you can come talk to me in the kitchen." She said sending him that warm smile he'd always loved and closing the door.

Louis made himself comfortable sitting on the counter as he watched Tricia make tea. "Still take it with no milk and two sugars love?" He nodded yes and said "Thank you." when she handed him the tea.

She moved to lean on the counter and quietly sipped her tea. It was an awkward silence for awhile both eyeing the other curiously before Tricia finally decided to break the silence. 

"Louis, I've some questions I need to ask you before- before I can really be okay with you being in my son and my grandchildrens lives."

Louis nodded Tricia had every right to ask questions, the fact that it took her this long honestly surprised him.

"You and Zayn, you boys were such a beautiful couple Louis. The way you would look at him and the way he came out of his shell with you. I-I guess, I guess I just need to hear from your side what happened. Because all I know is that my baby boy was heartbroken for almost two years before he met Alex and somewhat patched himself up. I need to know why Louis, what happened?"

 Louis visibly stiffened at the question, at the time he thought he was doing the right thing. Not the cheating but leaving Zayn, he was never meant to walk in on them that day. When it happened Louis was frozen he couldn't move it took everything in him to even be able to turn and look at Zayn and when he did the look in Zayns eyes almost broke him.

_He didn't know he was already broken at the point._

So he played it off and acted like a fuck boy but he regretted it. 

  
"You know the whole time on xFactor I didn't have a solo not even a word I sung myself? That was the first blow to my confidence, I guess." Louis sighed running his fingers through his hair "As soon as they figured out I was dating Zayn...it got so bad sometimes. I had never been called a faggot until Barbara from management walked in on me snogging Zayn. Started keeping us apart and hiding him whenever he was around us. They kept taking pieces of me away, every fucking day." Louis' eyes were starting o to glisten with tears as he remembered how he felt all those years ago.  
  
  "The first two albums I sung maybe five minutes of solos out of two hours. Each time I stepped in to the booth I saw them lower the volume of my mic but I shrugged it of because I was still part of this. I got to be apart of this amazing thing and I thought hey them silencing me a bit can't do too much harm, yeah." He paused to find his words. "They started messing with my hair they got me contacts... they literally broke my glasses in front of my face. They threw out every piece of clothing I had and stocked my closet with shit I'd never buy on my own. ' _Oh Louis show off your bum, give the people something to look out since you can't sing properly_ '" at this point tears were falling down his face but he kept his hands gripped tight around the mug and kept talking.  
  
"Then people starting wanting things from me and using me to further whatever it was they were doing. _Free publicity_." he laughed wryly "My mum starting asking me to help out more and I didn't mind because she's my mum and I love her more than anything in this world but then I found out she quit her job and expected me to care for all of them full time. Said she couldn't work with six kids two of them in diapers. Her husband was perfectly capable of caring for them... I don't know. It's like when your own mother starts using you who's to say nobody else will?  
  
"I started having these doubts about everyone I knew and everyone I met. Zayn starting gaining recognition in his career and almost everyone I introduced him to started working for him. Now I realize I was just being stupid but at the time I let my insecurities take over everything.   
  
"It just got to be so _much_ Tricia, so I went to a diner one night just to get some alone time and try to clear my head. Didn't think anything was gonna happen just a piece of pie and tea. But there she was and I automatically thought she was attractive but she still didn't hold a candle to Zayn.   
  
"Started off as a friendship at first just me going once a week and talking but then she started twisting the things I'd tell her about Zayn and making it seem so much worse and like an idiot I started to believe her. I started to hate Zayn."  
  
Tricia wiped a tear from her face and walked over to Louis cupping his cheek. His eyes were cast downward so she leaned down to make contact with him.   
  
"Lou-"  
  
"I fucking let her ruin my life! I let her put ideas in to my head and" he sobbed finally looking her in the eye "I missed out on so much. I missed out on Zayns pregnancy, the birth of my kids, them crawling walking talking. Zayn and I should be married by now with maybe another kid or two but we're just now rebuilding our relationship. I can see it sometimes, the doubt in his eyes."  
  
"Louis, my son has never stopped loving you. Even when we begged him to, even when he met Alex, you were always number one to him. You did a shite thing and Waliyha and Doniya still don't forgive you but... my son has been the happier these few months than he has in years."  Tricia nodded and walked back to the stove to start on dinner "Fuck up again though and I'll end you." she said effectively ending the conversation and in all seriousness never bothering to look up from the stove. 

 Louis just laughed and hopped of the counter to go and look for his sleeping sons glad he got everything of his chest.

☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Since work called him so early, Zayn forgot about buying his pill. Shite. Louis had a serious overdue chat with Zayns mum so you finally got to see how he felt at the time. Louis is alone with the boys for a few days. Lovely things will be happening soon :) 
> 
>  
> 
> I love you alll thank youuu <3]


	33. Yes

_"I miss you..."_

"Yeah babe? Well I miss you too."

_"One more week till I'm home, gonna send the boys off with Narry then we're locking ourselves in our room again babe."_

 "Last time we did that neither of us could walk properly for days." 

 _"Showing love Z"_ Louis laughed quietly adjusting the screen of his laptop.  _"did you get the house set up yet?"_ _  
_

"For the most part yeah, backs killing me though so I haven't hung anything up. Gonna get a massage tomorrow."

A week before Louis left for tour he and Zayn finally found the house they were looking for in Primrose Hill. It was a nice five bedroom house ( _Louis said they needed extra space for future kids_ ) with a large backyard, media room and oversized kitchen.

"Who's massaging you?" Louis asked raising an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

"Some hot French bloke,  _Laurent."_  Zayn teased 

Louis snorted "Yeah well tell  _Laurent_  to keep his hands above the waist so there'll be no problems."

"Yeah well maybe I want Laurent to touch me." he smirked. The playful growl that emitted from the back of Louis' throat made Zayn want to jump through the screen of his laptop and tackle the other lad.

 

☯☯☯

 

It was six days later when Zayn started to get a familiar feeling in his stomach.

 He was standing over the stove making Damian and Elijah pancakes, turkey bacon and eggs, when the smell of the eggs hit him like a ton of bricks. Zayn instantly knew what this was, it was a feeling he could never forget, but tried to push through so he could serve his boys then run to the bathroom. He placed the plates on the table and ran down the hall to his room yelling for his sons to go an eat.

After emptying his stomach, Zayn laid  on the floor letting the cool tiles cool his hot skin. His body was buzzing, it felt as though if someone touched him they would be electrocuted. Somewhere deep down Zayn was terrified but he couldn't bother with that part right now. 

All he knew, what he was sure every test would tell him, was that he was pregnant. Pregnant with a little boy or girl maybe even twins and he was expanding his family with the only person he's ever truly loved. The boys sat at the table enjoying their pancakes right now, were going to big brothers. 

He crossed his arms and rested his head on them, sighing. He could picture it all. He could see Damian and Elijah holding a little sibling coddling them trying to make sure everything was okay. He could see Louis changing their clothes and kissing the bottoms of their feet. He could see them both lying in bed, the baby between them Damian and Elijah at the foot of the bed, watching movies just enjoying being a family.

Zayn could picture that and maybe that's what scared him a bit, that he could picture everything but just because he could picture it doesn't mean that it's really what Louis wanted. Sure Louis wants kids, he's said it, he shows it. But they've only been dating three-four months now and here's Zayn, already fucking pregnant.

He pushed the negative thoughts to the back of his mind when he heard Elijah scream at Damian to stop pouring syrup on his bacon. Elijah was strange like that, he didn't like his food to touch and syrup was  _only_  meant for pancakes.

☯☯☯

It was three days later when Louis found himself in the middle of a park with his sons and Tricia. The boys were running around chasing the falling leaves while Louis and Tricia sat on a bench near by.

"So, you gonna tell me why you really wanted to go to the park today?" Tricia asked shifting in her seat to look Louis in the eye "You've been tense and bouncing your leg all day."

Louis hummed nodding his head "Yeah, yeah you've caught me." he ran his hands over his face trying to calm his nerves "I've been sure that I wanted to do this since the moment Zayn said he'd be my boyfriend again. We talked about this a few weeks ago and I am fully aware I did awful things to Zayn but... I want to spend the rest of my life with him and love him and cherish him and be there for him. I want to raise our kids together and have more kids together. I want to watch him grow old with me, watch his black hair turn gray and watch him get wrinkles. 

I want to be the person who makes him happiest." Louis breathed deeply trying to hold in his tears. "I guess... I guess I'm asking for permission? That's a thing you're meant to do right? Get permission from the parent of the person you love and want to Marry?"

Tricia looked Louis up and down he was shaking with nerves and she could see the passion in his eyes, the truth they held. 

"Louis, I've always considered you a part of this family." She spoke softly placing a hand on his knee "In these last few months I've seen you grow, not just as a person but as a father, a boyfriend and a friend. They was those two are with you" she pointed at Damian who was now pushing Elijah on a swing "they we  _never_ like this with Alex. I think they always knew their dad would come back."

Louis looked at her waiting desperately to hear what she was going to say, praying it was what he wanted to hear.

"Yes Lou, make my boy a Tomlinson."

And if Louis sobbed in to Tricia's shoulder for a solid five minutes, well that's their business.

 

☯☯☯

Zayn waited in he and Louis' bedroom for everyone to get him knowing Louis would put the boys down for a nap that immediately come looking for him. 

When he heard the front door open and the sound of running heading towards Damian and Elijahs room, he sat up at got ready. He'd gone to the doctor while Louis went out with his mum. Just like he suspected the tests were positive, he was pregnant.

He cried when he got the news only this time it wasn't because he was sure Louis was cheating on him, or that they'd drifted so far apart. He was crying because even though they weren't married, this was what he had wanted since he and Louis first told each other ' _I love you_ '.

He laid the pictures of the ultrasound around the bed and laid the paper confirming the pregnancy next to him. He'd thought about getting getting a banner that said 'We're Pregnant' but decided that was a bit much.

When Louis walked through the door he didn't automatically see the papers on the bed just saw his boyfriend looking smiley and glowing. He walked up to  him to give him a kiss but as soon as he puckered his lips he froze eyeing the sonogram lying next to Zayn. 

"Z?" he picked it up "Z, w-what's this?" he questioned picking up another sonogram then the paper next to it. 

The expression on Louis' face was hard to read, was he happy, scared or mad? Zayn couldn't tell. He was about to ask Louis how he felt when he cupped his face and slammed his lips into Zayns. 

They kissed hungrily, Louis trailed his hands up and down Zayns body grouping, caressing, savoring it. Zayn held him tight not wanting there to be an inch of space between them he'd missed Louis while he was gone and they'd been running around the last few days they haven't had time to themselves.

Louis detached his lips from Zayn and trailed them down to his stomach lifting up his shirt . He pressed light kisses to the skin and mumbled things Zayn couldn't properly make out.

"You're okay with this? It's not too soon Lou?"

Louis stopped peppering Zayns skin with kisses and lifted his head so their gazes met. "This is perfect, I mean I would've like to ask you something first but I want this, with you, us, our family." Louis smiled and sat up on his knees. He reached in to his pocket and pulled out a small  _black velvet_ _box_ from his pocket.

It felt like Zayns first birthday they'd spent together again when Louis gave him the hoop earrings. 

Louis took a shaky breath and opened it revealing a platinum band with three diamonds on the front.

"I figured something simple again? Like the good ol' days yeah?" Louis smiled then leaned up to kiss Zayn sweetly on the lips "So," he slid of the bed and dropped down on one knee making Zayn quickly sit up to see him "Zayn Javadd Malik, love of my fucking life, father of my children, my best friend, will you marry me?"

He was surrounded by sonograms and paper work confirming Zayns pregnancy. His eyes were glistening with tears as he watched Zayns eyes pop open as if he was sure he was dreaming. 

"L-Lou, I, fuck." he stuttered "Yes. Yes I'll marry you. I love you, you fucking... God I love you!"

Louis quickly slid the ring on his finger making it official and pulled Zayn in to his arms. The stood in the middle of the room gently rocking side to side. They hadn't realized they were both crying until they heard Damians voice ask "Dad? Daddy? Why ya crying?"

"Yeah why're you sad?" Elijah mumbled peeking out from behind him.

They pulled apart and Zayn dropped to his knees holding out his left hand where his new favorite piece of jewelry rested. "Daddy's getting married?" he smiled kissing both his sons.

"To who?" 

"Elijah, to your dad obviously."

"Why?" Damian asked this time.

Louis kneeled down next to Zayn pulling Damian towards him "Because it's what you do when you love someone more than anything in this world."

"Like I love 'lijah?"

"Oh God." Zayn laughed

"No babe, like I love your daddy, it's a different kind of love that you, young man, aren't allowed to feel until you're old and graying."

Damian eyed his dad carefully before smirking and tilting his head adorably to the side "Like you." then giggled grabbing Elijahs wrist and running back to their room.

 

"Waiting til the three month mark to tell anyone about the pregnancy?" was the first thing Louis said after the boys left.

Zayn nodded "It's better that way, just in case something goes wrong." then pulled Louis, his  _fiancee_ , in for a kiss and towards the bed.

"I love you Louis."

"I love you too, future Mr. Tomlinson."

 

 

☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [La la mother effing laaaaaaa!!! I hope you liked this chapter because this was a lot of fun to write :) I love this story and am so sad it's ending soon. But don't forget, there will be a prequel about them through high school and up until Eleanor happened and Louis became a twat.
> 
> What was your favorite part of this chapter? 
> 
>  
> 
> have a lovely night and see you soon.
> 
> xA]


	34. Irrevocably in Love

***Not at all edited but oh well :)***  
  
When Zayn was three months pregnant he and Louis told both of their families and the lads that Zayn was expecting another little bundle if joy. Niall made a joke that he figured it was Louis' turn this time, and they tried, multiple times because Zayn had convinced Louis that it'd be fun to be pregnant together.   
  
They tried in the dressing room at the Brit Awards, Zayn fucked him nice and slow against the unlocked door. They tried the next day on the sofa in their living room, media room and with Louis bent over the dining room table Zayn with a firm grip on his hip with one hand and another at the base of his throat holding Louis against him so he could whisper how tight and loud he was. But sadly Louis is not part of the 22% of males that can get pregnant. They were sad but they can't say they didn't enjoy trying.   
  
Everyone was happy for them, except Doniya and Waliyha. They were the ones who helped build Zayn back up and refused to believe Louis could change that quick. It saddened Louis but Zayn didn't care, the engagement ring on his finger and the kisses Louis placed on the back of his neck every night when he thought Zayn was sleeping, told him so.   
  


☯☯☯

  
When Zayn was three and a half months pregnant, Louis decided to take him out on a little date. It wasn't anything overly fancy, Louis and Zayn didn't spend outrageous amounts of money on food they couldn't pronounce.   
  
Primrose Bakery was an adorable yellow building with cupcakes, cookies and other treats in the window display, Louis was actually heading to a restaurant across the street but as soon as Zayn saw the double chocolate cupcake in the window, he had to have it.  
  
"Do you think Niall and Harry will be okay with the boys? Damian can be a little shit when anyone but me and mum are watching he and Elijah." Zayn asked before taking a rather large bite of his cupcake.  
  
Louis smiled looking at Zayn fondly noticing the other lad had icing on his bottom lip. "They'll be fine babe. S'not the first time they've watched them and Damian is obsessed with Harry." He bit his lower lip leaning across the table to softly kiss the excess icing away getting slightly carried away and leaving Zayn breathless.  
  
"I'll never get enough of those." Zayn sighed smiling but quickly replaced it with a frown. "You leave in a month."  
  
"Only for two weeks, just promo gigs and interviews in Florida, New York and California." He nodded reaching across to take both of Zayns hands. He stared at the engagement ring on his left hand and rolled it between two of his fingers. "I said you could come with me. You and the boys. I don't want to miss any of the pregnancy."  
  
"Nothing major happens in two weeks love." It was Zayns turn to sooth his fiancee. Louis had made it known since the day he found out that he didn't want to miss anything important. He wanted to know everytime Zayn felt the baby move, everytime he felt his bladder being crushed, everytime he needed a back rub and he wanted to be there for every appointment.   
  
One time, Louis skipped out on a award show and performance saying he was sick when really Zayn was having terrible morning sickness and Louis just wanted to be their to rub his back and tuck him in to bed.   
  
"No appointments?"  
  
"Nope. Besides I have a few wardrobes to stock for people." Zayn smiled placing his hand on top of Louis' "And when you come back we can find out if this munchkin is a boy or a girl."  
  


☯☯☯

  
When they got home a few hours later it was to two extremely excited four year-olds and two exhausted adults.   
  
"What were you two up to while we were gone?" Louis laughed scooping both boys into his arms and handing Damian to Zayn so he could give him Eskimo kisses.   
  
"We found treasure in the bushes at the old house!" Damian yelled scaring Zayn and almost almost making him drop his son.   
  
"Yeah daddy! Was a ring, a necklace and-and little circle dingies." Elijah wiggled in Louis grasp wanting to be put down so he could run to grab their treasures.   
  
Harry came up behind Zayn and threw his arm over his shoulder " Went to get their teeter-totter from the garden and they went exploring. I think you're gonna be very pleased with the stuff they found. Twenty quid you'll cry." Harry pulled a twenty out of his picket and shook it in front of Zayns face.   
  
"Uh, okay. Since I doubt they found anything in the bushes to make me cry, I'll double it to forty quid."  
  
Harry heard Elijah and Niall coming down the hall and quickly shook Zayns hand. " 'S a deal then." He smirked.   
  
Zayn shouldn't have taken that bet because as soon as he saw the two ' _circle dingies_ ' he was bawling.   
  
Louis, who had gone to the kitchen go get a bottle of water, ran back in to see what was going on. When he saw Zayn crying in front of Damian and Elijah who looked mortified and Harry and Niall who looked smug, he quickly pulled Zayn in to his arms.   
  
"Shh love, it's okay. What's wrong baby?" He whispered against Zayns ear rubbing soothing circles in to his back.   
  
Zayn mumbled something in to Louis' jacket covered collar bones and shimmied out of his grip. His fist was closed and pressed tightly to his chest as if he was keeping something safe.  
  
"Love, what is it?" Louis asked again. Not knowing what Zayn was freaking out over was driving him mental.  
  
Zayn sniffled and slowly opened his hand revealing  _two silver hoop earrings_. "They found them." While Zayn never forgot that Alex threw them during his temper tantrum, Zayn never went out to look for his things assuming he'd never be able to find them in the forest that was his front yard.   
  
 Louis pulled Zayn in for a bone crushing hug and before he knew it, he was crying right along with him.   
  
"So," Harry whispered to Niall "they're both crying, I get double then yeah?" he laughed.  
  
"Shut up twat."   
  


☯☯☯

 

  After everything calmed down. They were sat in the living room watching Spider-Man when Damian asked "Dad why were you and daddy cryin'? You sad?"  
  
"We'll put the treasure back." Elijah whispered from the other sofa between Niall and Harry.  
  
Louis shifted in his seat to get a better look at Damian who was in Zayns lap, "They're not sad tears babes. Daddy and I were crying because we're very happy. See, I gave those silver earrings to Daddy on his fifteenth birthday. You're daddy loves them a lot and he thought he'd lost them but no, my two little detectives found them for him."  
  
"Daaaad," Elijah whined "Pirates find treasure not det-de-tec-tives."  
  
"Ah yes you're right."  
  
"Can I be Jack Sparrow?" Damian pipped in looking at Louis with wide eyes.  
  
"He was a bad guy..." Elijah murmured burrowing in to Harry's side.  
  
"Exactly and what did Uncle Harry teach you today Elijah?" Harry smiled pushing the hair out of Elijah's face.  
  
"Be nice to nice but if... if..." Niall leaned over noticing he was stuck and whispered his version of what Harry said in his ear "Be nice to nice but if they're a... _twat_? Punch them in the balls." he smiled confidently not knowing exactly what he said.

Harry raised his hands in defence " _I_ did not teach him that last part, that was all Niall."  
  
Zayn scoffed standing up resting a hand on his small bump and making his way over to Niall slapping him in the back of the head "Time for Narry to leave. You're suspended from baby sitting. Leave. Bye!"  
  
"But Z-"  
  
"Goodbye Niall, it's nap time anyway. Elijah, Damian up you go." Zayn made motions with his hands letting the boys now that he meant move now.  
  


☯☯☯

 

 

 

Zayn was enjoying quiet time during the twins nap up in his bedroom by himself while Louis made phone calls in the office. He stared at the ring on his finger twirling it around watching the diamonds catch the light. The ring, even though it was just a material thing, made the words Louis said real. It puts his words in to action.

 

Before the ring Louis could have told Zayn everyday he wanted to marry him, and he did most days, but they were just words something he said when they were playing around or kissing each other breathless. 

Zayn sighed standing up and removing his shirt then jeans and heading towards the shower. He was about step in when a fully clothed Louis came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist hands resting on his baby bump.  
  
"I'll let you shower alone, you've got that ' _I'm thinking, I wanna chill out alone_ ' look on your face. But I just wanted to tell you that I am irrevocably in love with you Zayn."   
  
Zayn turned around wrapping his arms around Louis and softly kissed his neck nipping and licking at the skin before pulling away "I'm in love with you too Louis, so in love."   
  
Louis nodded stepping back from Zayn and swatting his bum "Go shower you smell horny." he laughed earning a scowl from Zayn.  
  
"Enjoy it while it last 'cos by month seven I won't even want you to touch me." he laughed and stepped in to the shower. "I could shower my horniness away or you can come join me and get rid of it before the boys wake up."  
  
Louis considered it for a moment, it probably wasn't a good idea, he had a conference call in thirty minutes, " _Fuck it_." he practically moaned before he started pulling off his clothes and joined his fiancee in the shower.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of yall in the comments are rude af. Bless the delete button. don't like my story click the red x and adiosssss
> 
> [It's been so long, it's been so long. 
> 
> So, do you guys want them to have a boy or a girl? and what should their name be? 
> 
> I think Louis and Zayn are adorable but, Is it just me or does it bother yall too when a story gets too happy and there's no more drama? Idk, we'll see :)
> 
> I love you thanks for reading I'm so close to 600k reads(wattpad) I could cry. 
> 
>  
> 
> xA]


	35. Be Alright

"Are you sure you have everything?"

"Yes Zayn."

"I can't believe I'm letting you do this." Zayn sighed from his spot sprawled out on he and Louis' bed "Go through the list again."

Louis after rolling his eyes and mumbling a ' _Jesus Christ_ ' answered "Two IPads, sixteen pairs of pants, twenty shirts, thirty little boxers, six pairs of shoes, two stuffed pugs...need I go on Zayn? I'm sure I have everything."

Zayn sat up on his elbows and narrowed his eyes at Louis "And if you don't?"

"Um I don't know let me think... I'll buy another... _obviously_."

"Louis please!" Zayn begged crawling toward the edge of the bed where Louis was going through the suitcase "Humor me, you're going to be gone for two weeks, this is the longest I'll have been away from them."

Louis sighed looking down at his fiancee noticing the nervousness in his eyes. "Babe," he closed the suitcase and pulled Zayn closer to him "I promise everything will be okay. I'll be with the boys the whole time and when I'm preforming or doing and interview Lou will have Lux and she already said she has no problem watching the boys. Z, I wouldn't have asked to bring them with me if I didn't think I could handle it."

"I know." Zayn nodded tracing patterns in to Louis' hand "I'm just a nervous wreck. It's not like I don't trust you it's just they're my babies Lou."

"I know love, just trust me when I say they're going to have a great time and I won't let anything happen to them." 

 

☯ ☯ ☯ 

 

"Dad...dad...daaadddd!" Damian yelled reaching over Elijah to poke Louis' neck. "We been in this room for a ba-la-jil-lion years!"   
  
"Babe, it's only been twenty minutes and Elijah's napping. We'll go to a few shops when he wakes up." Louis sighed rolling over on the bed trying to fall back asleep only he wasn't met with silence. As soon as he got comfortable on the bed he heard a smacking sound then a whimper that turned in to a sob.   
  
He quickly sat up and turned seeing Damian looking up and him with wide as and Elijah looking at Damian tears flowing down his cheeks.   
  
"Damian!" Louis scolded "why would you do that?" He scooped the younger of the twins in to his arms and started trying to kiss his salty tears away while rubbing soft circles in to his back.   
  
"Wanna go now." Was all Damian muttered.   
  
He was completely out of his comfort zone. What was acceptable? He knew he wouldn't spank Damian but he wasn't sure what the right thing to say was, so he did the only thing he could think of.   
  
"You get your little bum up and go stand in that corner. I'm going to call your daddy and let's see of he let's you stay on this trip. You never put your hands on your own brother. Do you hear me!?"   
  
There was a stern, fatherly tone to his voice Louis never knew he had. He pulled out his phone from his back pocket and quickly dialed Zayns number.   
  
"Hi babe!" Zayn answered cheerfully "Did you make it to the hotel okay?"  
  
He paused waiting for Louis to answer but all he got was a shaky breath.  
  
"Lou? What's wrong?"  
  
"I don't know what to do and it's stressing me out. It hasn't even been a full day and I'm losing my shit." Louis mumbled brushing the hair out of a sleeping Elijah's face. "Damian hit Elijah while he was sleeping because he wants to go explore now. I told him to wait and as soon as I turned over to sleep as well he hit him."   
  
Zayn who was pinning a dress on to Dakota Johnson, apologized and walked over to the corner of the room. "Did you tell him what he did was wrong?"  
  
Louis nodded then realized he couldn't be seen and hummed a "Yes." he breathed "I told him he's not meant to put his hands on his brother and sent to the corner so I could call you. Was that wrong? I'm so out of my element Zayn! I've never done this before, I've only ever been completely alone with them for a few hours. What made me think I could handle two weeks?"  
  
"Oh Lou," he whispered running his hand through his hair "you did everything right babe. You immediately told him that he was wrong and not to do it and you put him in a time out."  
  
"But-"  
  
"No buts Louis, have some faith in yourself. I wouldn't have let them go with you if I didn't believe you could handle it. Keep in timeout for about ten minutes don't talk to him let him stand there and thing about what he did. Make sure that whenever Elijah wakes up that Damian apologizes to him okay."  
  
"How are you so good at this?" Louis whispered back glancing at Damian who was still in the corner looking down at his shoes.  
  
"Four years of practice. I used to call my mum sobbing begging her to come help me."  
  
That confession made Louis frown "I'm sorry."  
  
"It's the past now, yeah. We're moving on, growing together and doing things right this time."  
  
"I love you so much Z."  
  
Zayn smiled and bit his bottom lip. He tried not to notice Dakota staring at him with a small smile on her lips from hearing the conversation but he couldn't.  
  
"I love you, too. Now I have to go I have Dakota half pinned in to a dress that needs re-sizing. You're doing great, you're going to continue to do great. I love you, again. Bye!"   
  
Louis was so gone for Zayn, it was ridiculous.   
  
☯ ☯ ☯   
  
  
Later that day after Damian properly apologized to Elijah with a hug and kiss on the cheek, Louis and Liam decided to take them out to eat at  _5 Napkin Burger_. They ended up regretting that decision halfway through the meal when they realized why the restaurant had it's name. Damian and Elijah were covered in grease, cheese and ketchup, but Louis couldn't bring himself to really care. He was with one of his best friends and his sons were sat across from him laughing and telling him stories from pre-k and how they missed their teacher Miss Rosie but would rather be here than anywhere else. 

 Afterwards, Louis, Liam and the boys (followed by Preston) all headed to the Toys 'R' Us in Times Square. And yeah, maybe he went a little over board with buying them things, six bags is a bit excessive, but again he couldn't be bothered to care when they looked up at him with wide eyes and massive smiles.

☯ ☯ ☯ 

 

Louis was lying in the hotels massive bed with a boy cuddled on each side, He couldn't see how life could get  _any_ better than it is now. He's got two beautiful kids and fiancee whom, yeah there was a four year long rough patch, was the love of his life the only person he could ever see himself being married to and having a proper life with. Not to mention that his fiancee has another baby growing inside of him, another precious baby that Louis is going to be there for. The appointments, the birth, the feedings, the tears, everything. 

So when Louis finally drifts off to sleep that night it's with a smile on his face and happiness in his heart. 

☯ ☯ ☯ 

 

While Louis was away with the boys, Zayn decided to call up Ant and Danny for a visit considering he hasn't seen them since the twins birthday in September. 

They were seated on the couch, Ant on the floor, watching The Avengers. It was like old times back before Zayn left Bradford and moved to Doncaster. They spent the day eating ice cream, cupcakes, crisps and pizza. They were laughing and joking around, Danny was telling Zayn about a girl he'd met and how on their third date he sneezed and ketchup flew out of his mouth and landed all over her.

Zayn apparently thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard because as soon as he started laughing he started choking. Danny leaned over to pat his back but Zayn waved him off and stood to go get himself a glass of water and maybe another cupcake he'd eat before he made it back to the living room but that was no one's business but his own. 

He had only managed to step over Ant when Danny caught his arm and looked up and him with wide eyes catching both Ant and Zayn of guard.

"Jesus mate, are you trying to rip off my arm." Zayn hissed rubbing his now sore arm. 

"I..uh...  _fuck_  Zayn!" he mumbled

"D, you're not saying anything let 'em go, yeah." Ant sat up looking at his brother.

"You're bleeding..." he whispered motioning towards the white sofa then up to Zayns gray trackies.

And just like that all the playfulness all the fun was gone. It was silent, Zayns breathing was picking up and Ant stood and walked over to his phone. Zayn quickly turned and yanked on his shirt.

"What are you doing?"

"We're taking you to the hospital and I'm calling Louis"

"No!" Zayn shouted pulling on his shirt harder "Just take me to the hospital, it's probably just spotting don't call Louis until we're sure, I don't want to freak him out." he was honestly the one freaking out. He didn't spot while he wasn't pregnant with the twins and twin pregnancies are considered  _high risk._  So the fact that he was bleeding while only pregnant with one child was making his heart race 

"Zayn mate, we should really-"

He cut him off pulling him towards the front door shoving his phone  in his pocket and making sure Ant was following as well "Danny, if we get to the hospital and something is actually wrong we'll call him. I just don't wanna worry him he's doing a lot of work over in the states and I know if I call him he'll come straight away."

"And he should Z this is his baby too."

" _Just fucking_...just take me to the hospital and if somethings wrong you can call him just... please!"

Ant and Danny looked back and forth at each other before agreeing, deciding it was better to hurry and get Zayn to the hospital rather than arguing over when to call Louis.

Ant sat in the drivers seat speeding, while Danny was in the back with Zayn holding his hand and telling him everything was going to be okay. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Hi *whispers* I'm sorry. I hope yall liked the chapter. Damians a little shit, Elijah is still a sweetheart and Louis is easing in to being a full time parent. Zayn well, guess we have to wait for the next chapter to find out. 
> 
> I'm seeing the boys in 217 and 219 days. yessss
> 
> Comment/scream and me ya know, the usual. Sorry this took so long life is not being kind to me right now and it's fucking with my head. Next chapter should be up Sunday unless more crap happens.
> 
> Love you all, don't forget to comment, they're my motivation!
> 
> x]


	36. Ramblings

It's going to be okay.

I will be okay.

Everything is okay!

During the exam, Zayn couldn't help but think that this was it, that he was losing his baby. He couldn't see how it happened though he was one week away from four months he was out of the danger zone for miscarriages. How the fuck is this even happening?

"...Malik? Mr Malik are you okay?" the doctor calling his name shook him from his trance. When he finally made eye contact Dr. Reid sent Zayn a small smile. "There we are, okay, it looks as though it was just a bit of spotting which is unusual for you being almost four months but the tests show nothing wrong."

"Are you sure? I didn't even hear a heartbeat?" He said as he eyed the doctor skeptically

"Mr. Malik are you okay? I had the fetal heartbeat playing for a full minute." Dr Reid walked over to the cupboard pulling out an arm band so he could check Zayns blood pressure. "Have you been feeling light headed or anything lately?"

"So my baby is fine?" Zayn asked completely ignoring the question

"The baby is just fine, take a look." He smiled and handed Zayn a sonogram "You can see it's fingers and toes."

Looking at the sonogram Zayn felt a massive weight lift off his shoulders. His baby was okay. He and Louis' baby was okay.

"I'll go get the men you came with while you get redressed. Just take it easy for a few days and of it happens again, I might have to put you on bed rest."

 

☯☯☯

 

"So I'm pretty sure Damian has a crush on Lux." Louis smiled at his laptop screen looking at Zayn who was lying in bed rubbing soft circles on his belly.

"What makes you say that?"

"While we were doing a few call in interviews he followed her around everywhere and kept asking to play with her hair. It was pretty fucking cute Zayn."

Zayn shifted in the bed hitting the laptop so that his right hand was in plain sight.

"Hey baby, what's that on your wrist?" Louis asked leaning in to screen to read it "Royal London- what the fuck? Zayn you were in the hospital? What happened are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

Zayn sighed taking a few seconds to collect himself. He didn't plan on telling Louis about him going to the hospital until he got home but obviously that wasn't going to happen.

"Zayn!"

The pregnant lad flinched and hesitantly made eye contact with Louis "I was gonna tell you when you got home, I promise." Zayn swore he could feel his heart constrict at the sight of Louis' face. It was an expression of pure pain and heartbreak.

"Something's wrong isn't there? Wh- fuck, Zayn I'm coming home. The lads can do the rest of the promo tour without me, you need me and our kids." Louis made a move to get of the bed getting Zayns attention.

"No-no! Nothings wrong Louis I promise, just had a bit of spotting. Ant and Danny were with me and took me to the hospital, it's okay."

Louis' expression instantly went from worried to angered. "The fuck? They were both with you an neither one of them could call me and tell me that my fiancee was in a hospital, bleeding and probably losing his baby?"

Zayn huffed out a breath and pinched the bridge of his nose "They didn't call because I told them not to unless it was serious. It was just a bit of spotting completely fine. Our baby is fine, look I got a new sonogram."

 

It was a desperate move throwing up a new photo of the baby in his belly but when the crease between Louis' eyebrows disappeared and his frown turned in to a soft smile, Zayn knew it work.

"You can see the little fingers now." Louis whispered.

"Finger nails and everything babe." Zayn smiled and rubbed his cold fingers over his belly making him flinch "When you get back we can find out if it's a boy or a girl and start decorating the nursery."

Louis' blue eyes watched as Zayn continued rambling about the things they'd do for a little boy or for a little girl. Louis didn't care either way, boy or girl. He knew he'd do everything in his power to make sure they were happy. He'd be there when they learnt to ride their bike. When they got their first crush. When their heart was broken for the first time.

Louis...well Louis never had a dad, Troy walked out on he and Jay so early, but Louis knew he didn't want to be an absent father. The fact that he wasn't their for his boys and Zayn when they were first born still hurt to think about sometimes. Whenever he tried to talk to Zayn about it though he would refuse to talk about it telling Louis to leave it in the past and move on.

"... if we have a girl I don't want her room to be pink it's so cliche and our baby is going to be original from the start." Zayn finished looking wide eyed at Louis once he realized he had just rambled for ten minutes about decorating the nursery. "You should've told me to shut up!" Zayn groaned running his fingers through his hair.

"Babe, I could listen to you talk forever." It wasn't a lie, during the xFactor tour Louis called Zayn every morning and night. Louis was a nervous wreck twenty-four-seven, he couldn't go to sleep without hearing Zayn's voice before bed and he couldn't step on to the stage, after managements relentless beating about his voice or his appearance, without hearing Zayn.

 

When Zayn would talk to Louis before a concert he would explain to him that his voice was angelic and that management just didn't understand how amazing he really was. He told him to give Harry and Liam time to get their footing before they properly started sticking up for he and Niall. It worked every time.

When Louis was getting ready for bed, Zayn didn't talk about anything in particular, he would talk about how his final year at school was going or tell him something Doniya did to piss him off. Sometimes though they had these deep talks, and they were Louis' favorite, about their lives together after Zayn graduated. They would move in to a flat together in the center of London and Zayn would pound the pavement until he got a internship at a top stylists fashion haus. The would eventually get a dog and once their careers settled and they had a decent schedule, they'd get married and have kids.

It's mad how different things turned out for them.

Louis wasn't even paying attention to whatever new rant Zayn was going on about just then and cut him off "You know, I love you. I love you so much and I just love you."

Zayn smiled biting his lip and blushing at Louis' compliment "Ten years and you still know how to reduce me back to a blushing teen."

"One of my many talents."

There was a knock on Louis' hotel door making him sigh then look back at Zayn who was watching him with wide amber eyes.

"If the bleeding happens again you have to promise to call me Z, I can't find out like this again. I need to know straight away so I can come back to you."

He was looking at Zayn with so much intensity he could feel his heart skip a beat and his blood rush through his body. The knocking on his door intensified waking Elijah who was on the couch closest to the door "I need to go babe, we're off to some studio to do a Skype interview with I don't even know who."

Zayn nodded still shaken from the stare and very quietly whispered "I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ This was short and filllllllller. The baby is fine so you can stop yelling at me now! Zayn and Louis' relationship is so cute to me I can't explain. Time jump in the next chapter so be prepared. I've chosen what the baby will be and am stuck on a name soooo :D
> 
> See ya soon
> 
> p.s. it'd be great if yall followed me on twitter @fuckoffZOUIS, just sayin :)
> 
> xA]


	37. Majidah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's probably a ton of mistakes, i couldnt think properly while writing this.   
> Stay strong I love you all.

When Zayn was thirty eight weeks pregnant his water broke. Luckily it wasn't in the middle of Donyia's kitchen this time, it was on Liam's brand new brown suede chase lounge. And okay maybe that wasn't so good for Liam but laying on a comfortable sofa beats standing in a kitchen and hearing the water splash any day. Hell, he didn't even notice what had happened until Damian, who was sitting next to him, yelled "Ew Daddy you peed on the sofa!"  
  
He didn't panic like last time either, honestly, the first thought on his mind was " _Louis' gonna be pissed_."  
  
Louis had taken Elijah so they could both get haircuts, he wanted to take Damian too but Damian said "No dad, I want my hair long like daddy's' and that was that.   
  
Louis kissed his forehead and literally told him "Don't have our baby while I'm gone" and walked out the door.   
  
Liam jumped off the sofa across from them and quickly tried to pick Zayn up to carry him to the car but he shoved him off and told him to grab Damian and call Louis.   
  


☯☯☯

  
When Louis ran in to the hospital it was only twenty five minutes after Zayn arrived and it would have been sooner but the rude police officer refused to believe his fiancé was about to give birth.   
  
As soon as he was rushed back to what he thought was Zayns room, after sitting Damian with Liam and Elijah, he froze.   
  
It wasn't a normal birthing room. It was an operating room and they were changing him in to scrubs and he didn't fucking know why and the nurse helping him change quickly was useless. He'd watched something like this on TV with Harry once, doctors have to do an emergency c-section to deliver a distressed baby, the 'mother' bleeds out and the dad is left to raise the baby alone.   
  
He didn't want that to happen and he thought standing at the door of the operating room would somehow prevent that. He thought that as soon as he stepped in the room Zayn would be gone.   
  
"Mr. Tomlinson? You can go on in now." A nurse with a voice too calm for the situation spoke from in front of him, he shook his head because wow he didn't even see her standing there staring at him with her piercing blue eyes.   
  
"Your fiancé asked for you before we had to put him under. I'm sure he'd like if you were there to see you baby when they take their first breath." She smiled.   
  
Louis nodded and brushed his hair off his forehead. "Yeah. Yeah okay."  
  
He held his breath as he walked closer taking slow small steps towards the table Zayn was laying on. When he made it to the table, ignoring everything Dr. Reid said, he brushed his fingers softly through Zayns beautiful black hair them slowly dragged his thumb over his cheek bone.   
  
"I love you so much Z." He whispered kissing Zayns forehead like he had earlier "can't wait to see our baby. Can't wait til you see or baby." It was only when a tear fell onto Zayn cheek that Louis realized he was even crying so he took a deep breath and held his hand tightly.   
  
"Louis, we're about to pull the baby out, I need you to come up here so you can cut the cord." Dr Reid chuckled at him. Dr. Reid saw this everyday new fathers who seem so chill at appointments lose it when it's actually happening.   
  
After Louis cut the cord, he was so wrapped up in his beautiful baby, he and Zayns beautiful baby that he didn't hear the machines beeping. He didn't hear the doctor shouting orders or the nurses moving around to fulfill them.   
  
Louis was staring at his beautiful baby staring at their little hands in aw as they wrapped their fingers around his pinkie. He didn't notice something was wrong until her turned around to see a nurse pushing he and his baby out the room. It was only then he took in the blood on Dr. Reid and the constant beeping of the heart monitor.   
  
"He's loosing too much blood push the  **Cytotec**."   
  
  
That was the last thing Louis heard as the operating doors closed in his face.   
  
  


☯☯☯

  
  
"Uncle Harry, do you love Uncle Ni like daddy loves dad?" Damian asked poking at Harry's dimple which quickly disappeared. Harry and Niall showed up not too long ago and Harry, somehow, ending up being in charge of the twins whole Niall and Liam went to the cafeteria.   
  
Harry stumbled trying to think of something but was cut off by Elijah adding something else to his brothers question.  
  
"Are you gon' have a baby with Uncle Ni like my daddies?" the seriousness of the question was lessened by the way he tilted his head to the side and stared up at Harry with wide hazel eyes.  
  
Harrys mind was running a mile a minute trying to think of what to say. He hummed while pulling on his lip and shifted in his seat. "Of course I love Niall, I love him more than anyone in this world. But babies? Um, no, no babies anytime soon loves."   
  
"Does Uncle Liam love Miss Sophia?"   
  
"Damian, what's with all the love questions?"  
  
Elijah perked up crawling over to Harry's lap and whispered in his ear "Damian has a girlfriend from school. I don't like her but D does."  
  
Harry looked between Damian and Elijah sensing the tension in the air at the mention of whoever this girl was "Why don't you like her 'Jah?"  
  
The smaller version of Louis' clasped his hands in his lap and tugged at his fingers chewing on his lower lip. " 'Cos, she's stupid and a girl and mean and she calls me a sissy. I don't know what a sissy is but I am not a sissy!"  
  
"I um, I call my sister sissy sometimes? It's just like another word for...sister?" Harry mumbled out realizing once he finished that what he said did not help.  
  
"I am not a girl!" Elijah growled throwing himself down on the floor "I am not a sister, I am not a girl! I have a willy! I hate Bianca!"   
  
Harry and Damian looked on as Elijah through his tantrum on the floor Damian, not fully understanding why his brother was so upset and Harry praying for Niall and Liam to hurry and help him with the boys.   
  
Babies are adorable but four year olds, four year olds are something else.  
  
  
Niall was getting antsy it had been over two hours and no one had called them back to see Louis and Zayn. Liam was on the phone with Tricia who had been up in Doncaster with Louis' mum decorating the nursery for when they visited with the baby. They were driving as fast as they could but they were still and hour away and rush hour traffic wasn't helping.   
  
"Um, whoever is here for Zayn Malik you can come with me now."  
  
Liam was the first one up because he wasn't holding a twin and started walking in front of the nurse who called them back, he was so anxious. They all huddled in front of room 402 as the nurse told them they couldn't stay long because visiting hours were almost threw and the delivery didn't go as planned.   
  
Liam opened the door slowly and sent Damian and Elijah in first while they followed behind. Louis who was sitting on the bed closest to the door turned and smiled blocking the view of Zayn who was next to him.   
  
"Hi lads and my beautiful babies." He whispered a new glow to his face and a new purpose to his smile. "I have another beautiful baby for you to meet."  
  
Only then did he stand from the bed allowing the boys and the other lads to get a good look at Zayn. He was seated on the bed looking a bit paler than usual but smiling down at the pink bundle in his arms.   
  
"Damian, Elijah come meet your sister Majidah she's very excited to meet you."  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [pretty sure this is a weird place to stop but I don't care. This book is almost over. I'm sad. Zayn left One Direction and I'm heart broken. I'm a ball of emotions and just fuck. FUCKITY FUck fuckkkk!
> 
> They had a baby girl :) and I fucking love her name! Majidah (Ma-g-dah) it means glorious, noble and respected. I want to try and make it to 45 chapters but I make no promises. 
> 
>  
> 
> Remember, while we are sad, that Zayn's mental health and just general well being are more important and that he DOES love us. Don't let those other fandoms that get a kick out of putting us down get to you.
> 
> Zayn will always be a part of One Direction and we should continue to support him in what he does in the future.
> 
> If you wanna talk twitter: @fuckoffZOUIS
> 
> tumblr: sexualxXxdirection
> 
>  
> 
> I love you   
> xA]


	38. Sleep is for the Weak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The spacing is weird and there's no italics I hate using AO3 on MACs. oh well.

It had been three weeks since Zayn gave birth to their baby girl and two weeks since he was allowed to leave the hospital considering the birth didn't go one-hundred percent as expected. 

It was nine p.m. and everyone besides he and Louis were asleep. They were both lying on their sides legs tangled together, one hand holding the others and the other hand resting on the others hip. There wasn't much conversation just soft kisses and caressing of skin.

"You know," Louis whispered after a while dragging his hand from Zayns waist to cup his cheek, "everything would be some much easier if you were in the band."

Zayn smiled laughing quietly before shaking his head, "I couldn't do it. I don't think I could handle that kind of fame. You're gone for months and you have almost no rest, I like my downtime. I like being able to see my family and I like flying under the radar. Just going out of the house with you gives me anxiety. I wouldn't to well with that stress love." 

"It would have been nice though, sharing hotels, having each other to help get through home sickness and getting to hear you sing without me having to beg you."

"Where's all of this coming from babe?" Zayn asked propping himself up on his elbow, wincing slightly at his still tinder abdomen.   
Louis sighed and rolled over to his back "You'd think leaving would get easier over time. I leave for the last leg of our tour next weekend and I don't want to go. I have the boys and you and a new baby at home."

"It's okay that you're going to miss us Lou, but this is your job and you love doing it. We'll be here when you get back, we will always be here. I love you as does Damian and Elijah and Majidah."

Louis smiled "Promise?" 

Zayn shifted leaning forward and capturing Louis' lips making Louis wrap his arms around his waist and pull him closer.   
"I love you too, Z. I can't picture my life without you in it." Louis whispered lips still brushing against his lovers. 

"And you'll never have too."

 

☯☯☯

 

As soon as Louis kissed everyone goodbye and closed the door Elijah turned to him with tears in his eyes, "Daddy, whys dad always leaving me?" 

Zayn sighed kneeling down to his sons height "He makes music baby you know that and when you make music you have to travel and make sure people hear it. Your dad has the amazing job of working with his best friends and making millions of people happy." We he saw that neither Elijah or Damian were amused by his answer his kissed them nth on the forehead "your dad loves you more than anything in this world, that's why when he is home he makes you pancakes-"

"He burns them." Damian mumbled 

"He tries." Zayn laughed "He just wants you to know he loves you so he tries. Breakfast, games, toys, cuddles and story time, that's how he shows his love, okay? So yeah he's gone a lot but he loves you so much." 

"We love him too, even if he's busy." Damian spoke while Elijah nodded. 

"Good, how was lunch then? Dad bought the smiley fries and the dinosaur nuggets yesterday." It was a lie, Louis didn't but them he did yesterday while Luis was playing in the back garden with the boys but, the answering cheer and the sound of their feet running towards the kitchen and talking about how 'awesome dad is' was worth it. 

 

☯☯☯

 

Zayn was holding Majidah for one of her nightly feedings. She was wearing a onesie Niall and Harry had gotten for her, a little sock monkey, and Zayn had to admit it was one of his favorites. She had beautiful tan skin, maybe a shade lighter than Zayn with chestnut colored brown hair to match Louis'. Her eyes however where a greenish Zayn had forgotten how much he hated one, three and five am feedings. He'd forgotten how much he loved having two boys who slept as much as he did. Majidah though was always up, it was like she took short little naps rather than full sleeps. 

Two weeks of doing this by himself and he was already wanting to pull his hair out. Little to no sleep makes for a cranky Zayn. 

It also doesn't help that he was planning for his wedding. He was running around not only London but all of England looking for venues. In the last two weeks he'd driven to Northamptonshire, Essex, Cheshire, Kent and Middlesex. 

He hated everything. Cheshire had the scenery most people would die for but Zayn wasn't one for outside...anything. Especially if Louis wanted to have a fall wedding, Zayn didn't fancy being cold on his wedding day. 

So saying he was tired and stressed would be an understatement. So just after three when he finally got Majidah to sleep and was finally able to wrap himself in his duvet he sighed in relief. It didn't last long though because as soon as he nuzzled his face in to his pillow his phone started to ring. 

Zayn honestly wanted to cry, he only had maybe two hours before Majidah woke up and only a few after that until he had to get up and make the boys breakfast before school. He rolled over and grabbed his phone off the dresser not even bothering to look at the caller idea because who ever it was- was going to get yelled at. 

"Hello?" he snapped eye closed and brows furrowed. 

"Zaynnn" Louis voice moaned through the phone and just as quickly as he was pissed off Zayn was quickly on alert. 

"L-Louis? What are you doing?" 

"M'sorry s'just m'missing you so much and I was looking at pictures of you from the award show you went to Friday. God Z, you didn't tell me what you meant buy cutting your hair and f-fuck, you got your nose pierced. What are you doing to me?" His breathing was labored and Zayn could hear the faint sound of skin smacking skin in the background. 

" I um, I wanted something new?" Zayn mumbled completely caught off guard and slightly unsure of what Louis wanted him to do, Zayn was always awkward when it came to phone sex.

"You don't have to do anything babe, I honestly just want to hear you say my name." Louis spoke voice hitching on the last word.   
Zayn smiled "Sounds like you're close already Lou."

"Got started by myself but the picture didn't cut it after a while. Needed to hear your voice." Louis gritted. Zayn could hear the skin to skin contact becoming more frequent and louder and the Louis' breaths becoming harsher. 

"I miss you too Louis, Louis Tomlinson my soon to be husband. I love you." 

Just that alone sent Louis over the edge with a shout of Zayns name and a slew of curse words after. 

"Shit, Zayn." Louis whispered trying to catch his breath "I love you too, sorry I called so late."

"It's okay love. I was still awake I just got Maj to sleep."

"God, I miss her so much Zayn. You've got to send me more photos." 

Zayn laughed "I send you pictures everyday Lou."

"I know but, ugh, I just miss her and the boys." Louis sighed sounding pained.

"Well they miss you too but I'm keeping them occupied driving around England looking for venues." Zayn grumbled.

"Well you don't have to do that anymore." Louis stated mater-of-factly. 

"And why is that?"

"Because, we're getting married in Dubai, it's a surprise and there's nothing you can do about it. So rest and when I get back we can pick cakes and all the other stuff."

"Seriously Louis? I don't get any input." Zayn pouted, even if he was stressed out about wedding planning he was looking forward to it. 

"I promise, you're going to love it. I've already talked to your mum and she's all for it." Louis' smile was clear through the phone.

"Of course." he huffed. He was about to argue again when Majidah started crying in the nursery. 

"Shit, I'm sorry, you didn't get any sleep. I'll let you go, I love you Zayn and I'll see you in a few weeks." Louis rushed honestly feeling bad that he'd woken Zayn up just so he could get off.

"I love you too Louis, bye." 

Zayn sighed running his hand over his face and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed so he could get up and go get his daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Hi, i've been busy my bad. I went to California and met lovely people and did crazy things then my birthday was on the 17th the day of the Asian Awards(what a blessed day). Thanks for not being too upset with me about the wait. Filler chapter but this book is almost over THE WEDDING IS SOON, Maybe three or four more chapters and MAYBE MAAAYYYBEEE and epilogue. I don't have much to say this chapter was crap so byeeee.
> 
> xA]


	39. Piss Off

It had been a busy six months, cake testing, suit fittings, choosing colors, flowers, main courses and booking flights for their families. 

 

Majidah was now eight months old and everyone in the families obsession. Louis never wanted to let her crawl around on the carpet only wanting to hold her and press kisses to her warm skin. 

 

Damian and Elijah were desperately trying to teach her to walk so they could 'explore' together but with her only being eight months she could only really pull her self to stand with the help of a table or chair. They were patient though, they didn't want to upset her. 

 

One night Louis was woken out of his sleep when he heard hushed voices coming from Majidah's baby monitor. He quickly woke Zayn with hushed, sharp and rapid whispers telling him he thought there was an intruder in their home. They both quickly sprang in to action Louis grabbing a cricket bat(no one knows why he has that, he's never played) and Zayn grabbed the hammer he'd been using earlier that day to hang his new painting. 

 

They both quietly but quickly ran towards the nursery weapons ready to strike and at the count of three Louis slammed open the door startling everyone. Especially his two newly five year old sons who were in the room.

 

"Damian! Elijah! You scared the crap out of us." Zayn shouted rushing towards the crib to grab the now crying baby.

 

"You scared us!" Damian shouted back holding his brother who was hiding behind him tightly.

 

"What are you doing in here? It's almost half passed two in the morning and you both have school tomorrow." Louis asked trying to keep his voice stern. He was genuinely convinced someone was in his daughters room so finding it to only be Damian and Elijah was such a massive relief. He honestly wanted to cry. 

 

Every once in a while it hits him just how much he loves his family. He loves them all the same and in different ways. He loves his children because the are his kids and part of him. He loves that Damian isn't scared to say what he thinks or express how he feels. He loves that Elijah wears his heart on his sleeve and loves everyone unconditionally. He loves Majidah because she's his first baby girl, his only baby girl, and that forever makes her special. 

 

Zayn, he loves Zayn because he is everything. Zayn is the love of his life. He's loved Zayn since he was Zain. He fell in love with the shy boy who had a secret only his older sister knew. He fell in love with the boy who never hid his heart, who risked his family to be with him when they were young and didn't really know what love was or how serious an emotion it was. He loved the way Zayn spoke, the way he moved, the way he thought. He was completely besotted. 

 

"We just wanted to talk to Majidah, honest." Elijah said stepping out from behind Damian with wide eyes. 

 

"Loves," Louis sighed only then noticing Zayn had left the room most likely getting a bottle ready, "I understand that you love your sister, she loves you too, but it's time for everyone to be asleep. You've got a spelling test tomorrow and you need to be rested. Maj will be here to give you good luck kisses before you leave, okay?"

 

As if on queue both boys tilted their heads too the right in unison as if they had something to really think about. "Okay dad." they chimed.

 

Louis walked both boys down the hall and tucked them neatly into their Spiderman (Elijah) and Batman (Damian) themed beds. After a few kisses to the forehead and promises of pancakes in the morning he left and went back to his room where Zayn was already fast asleep. 

 

☯☯☯

 

They day before they left for Dubai, Zayn took the twins to school, he need to talk to their teacher about them being gone for a week. Louis stayed behind to make breakfast for when Zayn got back home, they'd only had enough time this morning to feed the kids. 

 

He had just taken the last piece of turkey bacon off the griddle when the doorbell rang. Thinking it was Zayn, he quickly headed towards the door and opened it with a massive smile on his face.

 

"Babe why didn't you use yo- what the fuck?" His smile quickly turned into a scowl as his eyes locked on someone he'd prefer never to see again.

 

"Well, moving up aren't we Lou?" they whistled "This house is quite a bit bigger than the last one yeah."

 

"What do you want Eleanor?" he sighed pulling the door closer this his body to block her if she tried to go inside.

 

"You're getting married on Saturday, just wanted to give my condolences." She smiled innocently.

 

Louis scoffed shifting his weight from one foot to the other "Condolences, you dolt, are for when a loved one dies."

 

"Well it's not really anything to congratulate, it's sort of like dying innit?"

 

He crossed his arms growing more and more tired of her mindless babble bullshit "You sure do talk so shit don't you?"

 

"You're to be stuck with whiney, your words not mine, opportunistic Zayn for the rest of your life. S'that really what you want?" Eleanor pulled all her hair over her left shoulder taking a step closer to him. 

 

He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath to stop himself from lashing out at her. Louis before he got back with Zayn would have cussed her seven different ways and then some, but this Louis, the one he is with Zayn, the real him, couldn't. 

 

"Just leave Eleanor you've done enough damage to my life I'd like it to be Calder free from now on." 

 

She was about to respond when the beep of a car alarm caught both of their attention followed by the sound of footsteps coming towards them. 

 

Zayn turned the corner and stopped staring at the two people in front of him. It was silent for a moment before he finally spoke "Well, is someone going to tell me what the fuck is going on here?" 

 

"Just catching up Lou-"

 

"Louis." Zayn cut her off.

 

"Louis, was a big part of my life. Congrats were in order." she lied. Smoothly.

 

"Right." Zayn glared walking passed her and stepping into the house to stand next to Louis, "You can leave. How you even got our address I don't know but I can guarantee you are not welcome."

 

Eleanor huffed making eye contact with Louis one more time "Just think about it Lou," She cut her eyes to Zayn before looking back to Louis "forever is a long time."

 

"Piss off." Zayn snapped before slamming the door shut. He walked down the hall and towards the kitchen hoping on the counter and waiting for Louis. 

 

When Louis walked in the kitchen Zayn was sat on the counter angrily chomping away on a piece of turkey bacon.

 

"Babe I swea-"

 

"What was she doing here? At our house! At our house were our children live!" 

 

He could understand why Zayn was upset. How would you feel if you left the house for only thrity minutes and came back to find your fiancé 'leisurely' chatting with his ex-girlfriend who he cheated on you with. Not too thrilled.

 

"I was just about to tell you love." Louis spoke calmly walking to stand between Zayns legs firmly placing his hand on his thighs.

 

"Don't get smart with me Lou, why was she here?" 

 

Louis could see it, the doubt and sadness in Zayns eyes. 

 

"She just showed up honestly, I don't know how she got our address. She rang the door bell and I thought it was you, that maybe you'd popped over to Tescos or something and needed help with the door. Only it wasn't you when I opened it."

 

"And what the hell was she talking about 'forevers a long time? What were the two of you talking about?" he questioned shoving another piece of turkey bacon in to his mouth.

 

"She was just talking mess Z." He murmured caressing Zayns thighs "Basically saying was I sure I wanted to be with one person for the rest of my life." He summarized figuring what she had said about Zayn wasn't necessarily a thing needed to know.

 

"And do you feel like that? Do you feel like you don't want to be with one person for the rest of your life?" Zayns bacon was long forgotten laying on the counter beside him. "'Cos if that's how you feel it'd be nice if you told me now and not five years from now." 

 

Louis sighed and ran his thumb softly along Zayns jaw and cheek "That's not how I feel. I wouldn't have proposed if that was how I felt. I wouldn't have worked so hard to have a relationship with you if that was how I felt. I knew when I got back with you that the end game would be you and I together, forever Z, our little family." he pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Zayns lips, "It has always been you Zayn."

 

"Promise?" Zayn whispered. 

 

Louis reached down grabbing Zayns left and placed a kiss on his engagement band , "I promise."

 

☯☯☯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [What was thissss!? I'm not sure but the next chapter will either be a new chapter or and epilogue, just depends on how the writing goes. :O I know right!? 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been here since the beginning and to all of you new people. I love you all. Please please please comment they are huge motivators for me. 
> 
>  
> 
> See you soon :D
> 
>  
> 
> xA]


	40. Honeymoon

When Louis was seventeen and he and Zayn had been dating for two years, he started to have a reoccurring dream.

In the dream Zayn was lying on top of a massive bed covered in all white and fluffy linen. He was looking up at Louis with a smile on his face, the smile that always made his heart skip a beat.

In the dream Zayn was speaking but it was in slow motion and Louis could never make out exactly what he was saying. After he finished saying whatever it was he would sit up in bed, blow him a kiss and say a few more words a bit louder this time.

Louis would always stand there and look and him confused for a moment before the door to the bedroom would fly open and before he could see who it was that was opening the door he would wake up.

Everytime like clockwork, the door would hit the wall and Louis' eyes would snap open ending his dream.

He never stopped thinking about that dream, what Zayn said, who opened the door or what it meant.

☯☯☯

 

"F-uck me!" Louis gasped before biting down where Zayns shoulder met his neck, "Zayn!"

Zayn kept his pace, swiveling his hips and thrusting in and out of Louis. It was the day after their wedding and after sending all three of their children off with their grandparents that morning, they rushed back to their hotel room. They'd been at it for hours, for the last two months of their engagement Zayn decided they should stop having sex.

Louis was not at all thrilled with the idea and had tried everything in his power to get Zayn to change his mind. It didn't work though, Zayn had his mind made up.

So right now they were making up for lost time.

"I-ah can't believe we're married." Zayn sighed as he pulled out of Louis after their climax and removed Louis' legs from over his shoulders.

His blue eyed spouse who was still at a loss for words nodded and slowly shifted around on the bed enjoying the burn in his backside from their previous events.

"People always say they're nervous on their wedding day but I was so calm. All I could think about was getting to you at the end of the aisle and snogging you in front of everyone."

Louis chuckled before rasping out "I was shitting it." his throat was a bit sore and that made Zayn laugh, "Don't laugh twat this is your fault. Anyways, I was losing my mind. It was so hot in my dressing room and me mum wasn't making it better talking about how she didn't think this day would actually happen after what I-"

Zayn cut Louis off by pressing his lips to his and kissing him hard and slow effectively shutting him up and knocking the wind out of him.

"It doesn't matter. We're married, we have a family, we're happy." Zayn smiled taking Louis' left hand and kissing his wedding band.

Neither of them said anything after that as the laid in bed watching the sunset through the wall of windows. They didn't leave their hotel room that night, they didn't want to fade into the busy city of Dubai. They didn't want to go sight seeing or try any new amazing food they hadn't had before. They just wanted to spend the day wrapped up in each other, sharing kisses and hushed whispers like secrets they wanted to keep just between them. 

The sun was almost completely set when Zayn decided to finally talk. "You know, I still remember the exact moment I realized I was in love with you."

Louis shifted turning to completely face his husband so he could watch him speak. 

"It sounds so stupid but it was after our third date. You remember? When we went to the park and had the water gun fight?" Zayn sat up resting his back against the headboard and Louis moved so his head was in Zayns lap. 

"I remember, terrible idea for us to wear white t-shirts that day." he laughed, his eyes crinkling around the edges. This was the laugh Zayn lived for.

"We'd just finished and you were looking in the boot of your car for the towels but instead of the two blue towels you said you packed you pulled out two pink Barbie towels. You were so embarrassed that you just wanted to drive home soaking wet but I grabbed one of them from you and started running waving it around like a flag." Zayn smiled remembering the way Louis stuttered over his words and the way his cheeks turned a beautiful rose color. 

"You forgot the most embarrassing part." Louis groaned, his smile though, never leaving his face. "You ran around screaming 'Tommo still plays with Barbies!' The whole park could hear you I was mortified!" Just thinking about it has Louis' cheeks turning Zayns favorite shade of pink all over again.

"You tackled me."

"You deserved it."

"You licked my nose when you were sitting on me."

"You wouldn't stop laughing."

"You crossed your arms like a child and pouted at me. That's when I knew. I was only fourteen but looking at you with your flushed face and pouty lips, I knew I loved you and wanted all you had to offer." Zayn sighed leaning down to kiss Louis' lips for the thousandth time that day.

 

☯☯☯

 

After their two week long honeymoon, Louis and Zayn Malik-Tomlinson- yes, Louis also changed his last name, returned home to three very excited kids and two thankful grandmothers who were ready to leave as soon as they got home. Elijah sat in Zayns lap as they went through the family friendly photos from their trip showing him the places they went and things they tried also promising to take them back someday so they could experience it for themselves. 

Damian sat in front of Louis listening to every word he said and watched him feed Majida. His eyes were wide as he listened to his dad tell him how scary yet amazing it was riding an elephant while they were in Thailand, and how they would never eat falafels anywhere else again because it could never match the way it tasted in Dubai. 

That night the twins insisted that the whole family sleep in the same bed together saying their dads had 'a lot of cuddles to make up for.' and well neither Louis or Zayn were going to turn cuddling their favorite people down.

After reading Goodnight Moon to the boys and an already sleeping Majida, the newly married couple stayed awake watching their beautiful children sleep and sharing small glances and smiles with each other. 

"Once in a lifetime, it's just right, we make no mistakes. Not even a landslide or riptide could take it all a way" Zayn sung softly never breaking eye contact with Louis, who after the first line reached over their kids and grabbed Zayns hands intertwining their fingers. Zayn continued singing quietly only letting Louis sing when it was his turn on the song. 

"Once in a lifetime you were mine." 

Zayn reached over to gently wipe away a tears that were threatening to fall from Louis' eyes "I can't believe you know that song. We weren't even together then." Louis whispered still in awe.

"I never stopped listening, I listened to every album. This is one of my favorites from Four and it seemed fitting for the moment, so why not." He smiled shyly. 

"Fuck," Louis whispered "I love you so much Zayn. I would go through all the shit days all over again if it meant still being able to end up here with you and our kids."

Zayn didn't miss the twinkle in Louis' eyes as he said it, it was the same twinkle he had in his eyes he had the day he asked Zayn out in the middle of homeroom in front of everyone. The same twinkle from the night Louis climbed through his second floor window to just so he could be the first person to wish him a happy birthday and give him his present.

It was the same twinkle from when Zayn joined him at the end of the aisle on their wedding day, surrounded by their close family and friends, and confessed their love to each other. The same twinkle in his eye when he stood in front of Zayn in his black suit and promised Zayn that he would always be there, that after everything they'd been through nothing could come between them. 

Zayn knew he meant it and when Zayn told him he loved him that night before pressing a soft kiss to his lips and going to sleep, he had never felt so whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This was the last chapter, an epilogue with a time jump will be up next so look out for that. I'm so fuxking sad that this story is over but I couldn't drag it out anymore, it's time to say goodbye. I love you all and thank you so much for putting up with my shitty updating schedule these last few months.
> 
> Ugh, i love this story so much, I'm so genuinely proud of it. 
> 
> I love you all
> 
> xAngelica]


	41. Epilogue

"Babe!" Zayn called from the bedroom. Louis quickly finished brushing his teeth and walked out to the bedroom to see his husband of five years laying atop the fluffy white duvet.

Louis smiled taking the sight of his husband in his lose gray joggers "Yes love?" he smiled again leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom.

"I just wanted to let you know I love you." Zayn said stretching with his hands over his head his small three month twins baby bump on display. "I want to remind you every chance I get, so, I love you."

Louis falls more and more in love with Zayn each day. It's little things like this, the sweet things he says, they way he looks at him or just the way he is with their now four almost six kids, Damian, Elijah, Majida, Eliana and the two twin boys in Zayns stomach who had yet to be named.

Louis is so in love.

Suddenly Zayn his yelling for the kids calling each of their names. Louis can hear the sound of their feet rushing down the stairs to their room so it's no surprise when Damian and Elijah, their ten (almost eleven) year old boys, are first through the door slamming it open so it bangs against the wall and launching themselves onto the bed. It looks too rough and too fast but they're careful of Zayns stomach.

Louis freezes, everything coming back to him, his dream. A dream he had more that ten years ago when he was seventeen. He's living it. He's actually experiencing it. and if realizing that isn't enough to bring a tear to his eye, the sight of four (almost five) year old Majida slowly helping her two year old sister Eliana into the room and up on the bed is.

He stopped to think about how thankful he is, thankful that Zayn gave him a second chance, thankful for his beautiful children, just thankful for his life.

"Babe?" Zayns soft voice broke him from his thoughts "Are you gonna come join morning cuddles before everyone has to start getting ready for school and my mums?"

He nodded and slowly made his way towards the bed lifting up both of his baby girls and setting them on his lap so he had room to sit.

"You okay papa?" Majida whispered but from the looks on everyone's faces he could tell they were wondering the same thing.

Zayn and Elijah's hazel eyes and Damian's blue eyes were locked on him waiting for an answer.

"Yeah," he smiled "just thinking about how I love all of you so much." he sighed and reached over all four kids to place his hand on Zayns baby bump.

"We love you too dad." the boys said in unison while his girls nodded their heads with radiant smiles on their faces.

He is so lucky to have so much love in his life.

☯☯☯

After the boys left for school, Louis dropped Majida at preschool and Zayns mum came to pick up Eliana, Louis walked into he and Zayns bedroom.

Zayn was laying on the bed still, a smooth smile on his face and his hands rubbing circles on his belly.

"Come lay with me." he shifted looking over to his husband who was leaning against the doorframe. "Do you remember what today is?"

"Of course I do." Louis said as he walked over to the bed removing his black Adidas shirt and lying next to Zayn. "I met you eighteen years ago today."

He leaned over and slowly and passionately kissed Zayn lacing one hand in his hair and running the other down Zayns arm.

"I never thought I'd be spending the rest if my life with the boy who kept bugging me in home room." Zayn laughed shifting his body to better face his husband.

"I never thought you'd give me the time if day. You were, you are, beautiful." Louis replied honestly breath hitching as Zayn moved to straddle his body.

Zayn smiled innocently as he leaned down a pressed short kisses to Louis' lips, cheeks and nose.

"You have no intentions of cuddling right now do you?" Louis asked already starting to untie Zayns joggers.

"Not even a little." he smiled before not so innocently grinding his hips down on to Louis. "I love you Lou, so much"

Louis would never get tired of hearing those words leave Zayns mouth.

And he fully intends on hearing them everyday for the rest of his life.

"I love you too Zayn, more than anything,"

☯☯☯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [THATS IT! Oops? is finally over! Excuse me while I crawl into a corner and cry for the next four days aka the day the first chapter of the prequel will be posted.
> 
> [WATTPAD] If you liked this story and want more Zouis go an add my story 'Bradford Meets Doncaster' to your libraries. It's about how Louis and Zayn met, fell in love and all the drama in between.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading this. I am forever grateful for all the love yall have shown me. I wanted to give up on this story sometimes but you guys kept me going.
> 
> I love yall and hope to see yall over in the Bradford Meets Doncaster comments.
> 
> As always   
> xAngelica]


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